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Am i being too needy?

(11 Posts)
GummyBear7 Sat 14-May-16 17:21:34

Your perspectives before I send a telling off text please...
I was diagnosed with something on my skin a couple of days ago and have been on antibiotics since then. He knows this and i told him i was worried more about the scaring as obviously these things do heal but the scars could be horrible.

My bf of 3 months is very intense, calls me on not texting him if he can see i've been online before him. He has not asked about it today. He didn't ask me about it yesterday either but generally asked how i was, i said ok and he asked why just ok and i said oh well on account of the skin and then he didn't say or ask anything about it. He is busy today to low on texting but tone is very lovey and normal which pisses me off more.

AIBU to be annoyed? I just want to call him on it and tell him its not nice.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sat 14-May-16 17:29:35

I think a more important question is why are you with someone who questions why you haven't text him if you've been online? That's controlling.

Lemonade1 Sat 14-May-16 17:34:32

Please please please do not waste months or years second guessing someone who is just a shithead. He will not change. He does not care about you. Don't tell him it's not nice, don't tell him anything. Block and move on.

Hope you are ok and your skin situation is manageable.

ijustwannadance Sat 14-May-16 17:37:37

Very intense = alarm bells, run for the hills.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Sat 14-May-16 17:41:38

Sorry if it sounds harsh, but I think you may be over-reacting a bit about the skin thing. If it's not something serious then I can understand why he's not more concerned about it. Maybe he thinks you're being a bit OTT about it if you're expecting sympathy and care for something that he doesn't think is very serious.

The checking on you if you haven't texted him is more worrying, but tbh after 3 months you will be seeing the real him emerge and if he doesn't react in the ways you expect you can call him on it or walk away. Not sure texting him telling him off is the way forwards, perhaps it's worth waiting and talking in person and saying that you felt that he was uncaring and see how he reacts to that.

nicenewdusters Sat 14-May-16 17:48:29

I'd mention his lack of interest in your skin condition to his face. Don't let him minimise it in a text, see for yourself how he reacts to you being upset.

Also the thing about not texting him if he can see you've been on line before him. How does he know this, is he regularly checking up on you, sounds weird ? I think this is your bigger problem.

acasualobserver Sat 14-May-16 17:57:00

before I send a telling off text

Managing your relationship via text is not going to work, IMO.

AuroraBora Sat 14-May-16 19:17:07

He tells you off for not texting him but cba to ask about something that was worrying you? He is a best an idiot, at worst controlling. And by texting him about it, you are playing his game just how he wants.

Run run run, as fast as you can, this is not what you want to deal with for the rest of your life.

GummyBear7 Sat 14-May-16 19:23:50

Thank you everyone. I did text and tell him that it wasn't cool that he hadn't checked up on me. And got an apology saying he is sorry and has not made an excuse for his behaviour. He has his kids this weekend and will call me later.

He called me on the texting twice only and not since btw. I only mentioned it here because we've only being going out 3 months but far ahead compared to most relationships and expected that will give you a picture of the relationship (which went completely wrong).

Thank you for asking, it is improving well but the scar worry will take some weeks till they go. I promise i was/ am not being OTT about it but don't want to say anymore identifying info.

GummyBear7 Sat 14-May-16 19:27:29

oh and he is usually very attentive and caring but not on this occasion which is why i thought i was being unreasonable. I know he is busy - finished work at 10 last night and some work this morning before picking up the kids - but imo no excuses for not asking after me.

JonSnowsBeardClippings Sat 14-May-16 19:29:47

Relationships that move unnaturally fast are built on sand usually and it's really not a good sign. Nor is the controlling behaviour around keeping in contact. It's barely been 13 weeks that you have been together - are you sure you want to be in this?

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