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AIBU to think when you get what you've asked for you shouldn't complain.

(29 Posts)
KateInKorea Sat 14-May-16 11:00:29

We are moving continents, and will have to pay our own relocation expenses. We don't have huge amounts of stuff (no furniture here) and I have been charged with the task of getting us and our stuff moved "At the lowest possible cost". We could put our excess in a shared container and get it in "8-12" weeks (it will actually be 16) and I know (from experience) that a chunk of it will be replaced in that time.

For the same price we can take it with us as excess baggage on our flight back. Excess baggage is tricky, airlines have different allowances, and differing costs based on various things. I know this because I have researched every airline that flies between our old and new cities, and costed it both as excess and as delivered cargo.

The cheapest option is for all of us except one to travel on the airline with the largest luggage allowance, and the remaining one to travel on the airline with the cheapest excess baggage charges. They leave and arrive within 90 minutes of each other.

So AIBU to think that having been difficult about setting his criteria, and that I have actually achieved what he said he wanted, that my husband should with no complaint whatsoever pick to travel with the children OR the excess baggage and not start dicking about on getting this booked.

GoofyIsACow Sat 14-May-16 11:03:57

That sounds like a good option, i would volunteer to be the excess baggage traveller if I am honest! Although i know that would never happen!

TheFuckersBitingMe Sat 14-May-16 11:05:08

Absolutely. He asked for something, you've sourced it, I don't see how he has anything to complain about.

GoofyIsACow Sat 14-May-16 11:05:50

It would never happen in this house I mean!

acasualobserver Sat 14-May-16 11:36:32

I would really appreciate someone with your organisational and administrative skills in my household.

TheCuriousOwl Sat 14-May-16 11:46:40

This sounds like an EXCELLENT idea and tbh I think as the one who's managed to orchestrate it you should be allowed to choose what you want to do!!

FeelingSmurfy Sat 14-May-16 12:00:29

You went to all that effort, you should be deciding which you want to do and telling him which he is doing - YABU to yourself by doing all this and giving him the choice and getting stressed waiting for the answer

KateInKorea Sat 14-May-16 12:02:39

He doesn't want to do the children because it might be hard, and he doesn't want to do the excess baggage because he would find that embarrassing. Having to queue with two trolleys and collect them and 'somehow' manage to get them through customs.

KateInKorea Sat 14-May-16 12:12:30

feeling I'm not stressed, I am angry.
I am a wife being treated like an employee, and I really do not like it at all.

FeelingSmurfy Sat 14-May-16 12:15:46

Kate you know, I hesitated when I wrote that, it didn't feel the right word to use! I went through a couple and ended up just leaving it as stressed

He doesn't want to do either so I would just decide which would be easier for you and tell him he was doing the other one. Once it's booked he has time to get his head round it

VimFuego101 Sat 14-May-16 12:24:22

Assuming both flights are on time, can't whoever arrives first just wait at baggage claim for the other to catch up and help them with the trolleys? He's being ridiculous. It's a huge pain waiting for shipping crates and trying not to re-buy things in the meantime. It sounds like you found a really good deal.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 14-May-16 12:24:55

He's being a petty childish arse. You've done what he asked, he hardly has to do a single thing now, and he's pulling a strop about it because why - he CBA to care for his own children, or he's "embarrassed" (wtf?) to have excess baggage?

Y'know what - I'd throw it straight back at him and go "OK, you don't like my solution, YOU fucking deal with it then. I'm done."

FuriousFate Sat 14-May-16 12:32:56

OP - whose job are you moving for? Because if it's for his and he can't be arsed, I'd strongly advise not going at all! If it's for yours and he's being deliberately obstructive, there will also be problems (and I say this as a so-called trailing spouse myself).

gamerchick Sat 14-May-16 12:37:29

So he wants you to travel with the kids with the excess baggage flight then and not do anything at all? Complete the whole thing with him just thinking of himself only?

Fuck that.

simonettavespucci Sat 14-May-16 12:43:19

YANBevenslightlyU. I would give him the choice that either you book it NOW and you get to choose whether you deal with children or baggage or he can sort it out himself. And I would think seriously about whether or not I would agree to sort out logistical issues for him in the future.

FuzzyOwl Sat 14-May-16 12:43:48

YANBU. Do you think he just doesn't want to move?

I would give him the option you have worked out regarding flying or tell him the only alternative is for everything to be in a private container that takes about four months and is much more expensive, because clearly a shared one isn't going to work and if there is anything expensive he wants in the meantime, the household money won't be available for it because it has been used up on the container.

expatinscotland Sat 14-May-16 12:47:53

'He doesn't want to do the children because it might be hard, and he doesn't want to do the excess baggage because he would find that embarrassing. Having to queue with two trolleys and collect them and 'somehow' manage to get them through customs.'

I would have presented it all as a fait accompli and he would be traveling with the children.

At this point I'd tell him to organise it all himself then because I'm not his secretary.

RaeSkywalker Sat 14-May-16 12:49:02

YANBU. I'd definitely be volunteering to be the excess baggage person though grin

WriteforFun1 Sat 14-May-16 13:05:22

Kate, your first post made you sound like someone's employee! I was thinking "charged by whom?"

I vote you do the excess baggage, it sounds like you could use the peace on the plane. Well, as peaceful as planes ever are!

Clare1971 Sat 14-May-16 13:30:20

You sound bloody amazing. Should be running a small country at least. I guess you could now say, this deal or pay more, which? Can you bill him for the hours it must have taken to work all this out? wink

GinAndColonic Sat 14-May-16 13:36:11

I'd pick on his behalf.

CoolCarrie Sat 14-May-16 13:39:34

YANBU at all! He is being a dick, frankly. He should be pleased , not bitching, well done to you. ( I am crap at this kind of stuff)
He needs to suck it up and go with your plan. You should do the excess baggage if he is going to be "embarrassed," poor him..not!
Good luck with your new country!

bloodyteenagers Sat 14-May-16 13:55:30

Well darling, I have made the decision as you seemed incapable. You will be flying with the children and I will deal with the embarrassment of excess baggage and somehow getting it all through customs.

Oh the children are hard?
Really. Didn't it occur to you at some point you would have to parent them?

DinosaursRoar Sat 14-May-16 14:06:34

well, I would refuse to discuss it any further then, you've found a solution. I bet he finds a "better" solution - one that's twice the price! Actually, what would be the price of fast shipping of your stuff? If that's what he wants to do, then give him the price of it.

There's the cheap option where he has to either deal with his own children or carry his own stuff, or there's the expensive option.

DieSchottin93 Sat 14-May-16 14:56:07

Why would he be embarrassed about travelling with the excess luggage? confused I schlepped two 20kg suitcases + a heavy rucksack around with me when I was going to and from my year abroad and I was embarrassed in the slightest I was a bloody sweaty mess though

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