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AIBU - vegan dinner party guest EATING FISH

(710 Posts)
isitginoclock Fri 13-May-16 20:06:33

We're throwing a dinner party. I've just excused myself to the loo to write this because I'm FUMING!! One of our guests has recently become a vegan. I spent bloody ages making her a mushroom pate for starter which she happily tucked into whilst we ate our salmon tartare. She then asked if she could try some salmon.


I've bought loads of different stuff for her to eat and spent all frigging day cooking it. Why do I bother?!

LyndaNotLinda Fri 13-May-16 20:08:14

Urgh I hate fake vegans. I've known a few.

Did you say something?

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Fri 13-May-16 20:08:48

I once spent fecking ages looking for alcohol free merlot for a stew for non-drinking guests (religious reasons).

When they arrived they cheerfully informed me they'd been out on the piss the night before.


IHaveBrilloHair Fri 13-May-16 20:10:19

Pop out and buy a steak, then rub it in her face.

ghostyslovesheep Fri 13-May-16 20:11:17

she's being a twat - call her on it

RuggerHug Fri 13-May-16 20:11:31

Eh......what? Is there any way you can bring out desert with an announcement of ' I never catered to a vegan before, so thank you X, we are all going to enjoy this thanks to your lifestyle choice. How IS is going btw?'. While pretending you missed the fish thing

TendonQueen Fri 13-May-16 20:16:09

Just say something. 'I have to ask, why are you eating salmon if you've gone vegan?'

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Fri 13-May-16 20:16:39

I'm not surprised you are fuming.

The thing that annoys me is that I feel uncomfortable asking "so do you eat fish or eggs or milk if it's an ingredient (cake etc)." Because you look like you aren't taking veganism seriously.
Seriously irritating.

Good luck making it through the evening without commenting on it.

Moonlightceleste Fri 13-May-16 20:17:15

My DP and DDs are pescetarian but DP was vegan for a long time so all four of us eat a lot of vegan food, even though we're not vegan. But we absolutely wouldn't go around saying we're vegan because you know, we're not confused

Did she specifically request a vegan meal?

EatsShitAndLeaves Fri 13-May-16 20:18:04


I'd be fuming. I love cooking and have no problem at all catering for veggie/vegan/non-dairy/non-wheat requirements.

That said it is extra effort and expense. If I'd gone to that trouble and found them tucking into the "normal" options I'd provided I'd have called her on it - something along the lines of "I'm glad you enjoyed the salmon but somewhat perplexed why you told me you were vegan and have seen it as acceptable for me to spend time and money on a special menu for you that wasn't needed".

DaveCamoron Fri 13-May-16 20:18:36

Call her out on it!

fastdaytears Fri 13-May-16 20:20:16

Ugh how amazingly annoying. You should definitely say something.
Food sounds amazing!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Fri 13-May-16 20:21:28

I bet she's wearing leather shoes too. Beat her about the head with one for being such a monumental pain in the arse and then have a little look inside and report back.

Not that vegans have to forgo leather shoes but just out of interest as you're going to have to twat her about the head any way. For her own good.

StackladysMorphicResonator Fri 13-May-16 20:21:32

Call her on it IMMEDIATELY and then go back to the loo to update us on how she reacts

Notthebumtroll Fri 13-May-16 20:21:56

Catered for a vegan at a hen weekend once, she then went on to be the worst vegan ever, eating all sorts of things. It does my nut.

squoosh Fri 13-May-16 20:22:00

At a work thing last week a colleague of mine ate half her body weight in parma ham whilst telling me that she was 'more or less vegan these days'.

Not surprised you're peeved OP.

MetalMidget Fri 13-May-16 20:22:11

Pop out and buy a steak, then rub it in her face.

No! Pop out and buy a steak, eat the delicious streak, and then remind her that she's a vegan. THEN rub her face in the mushroom pate.

BikeRunSki Fri 13-May-16 20:22:45

I'dvhave refused when she asked!
"No, I am afraid it's not suitable for vegans".

Allalonenow Fri 13-May-16 20:23:28

Have another wine and then pour cream on her portion of pudding! smile <lighthearted>

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Fri 13-May-16 20:24:06

This just popped up on my facebook feed..


Birdsgottafly Fri 13-May-16 20:24:22

I was Vegan, I'm Vegeterian at present, because of ill health.

I'm never tempted by meat, but I am by fish. There's a part of me that often thinks, "It's been killed anyway and if I didn't eat a bit, the other person would, or it would go in the bin", so I understand the temptation.

I ate fish, once, when drunk. I find I can digest it, in small amounts, but not egg, or cows milk.

I can imagine that you would find it annoying, but it may be that she couldn't have eaten a full meal that was non Vegan without being ill.

FirstWeTakeManhattan Fri 13-May-16 20:25:27

Has she recently stayed at a hotel outside London? Is she 'not fully' vegan yet?

maisiejones Fri 13-May-16 20:26:20

Bike - me too. I'd have refused to let her compromise her beliefs. For her own good of course!

HermioneWeasley Fri 13-May-16 20:33:11

YANBU to be pissed off

LaContessaDiPlump Fri 13-May-16 20:35:23

For fuck's sake. If someone's gone to the trouble of catering to your (admittedly awkward) dietary choices then you should damn well show respect for them by sticking to it for that evening! Be a faux vegan on your own time hmm I'm vegan btw so am properly irked on your behalf op.

I do wear my old leather shoes btw; I bought them in my omnivorous days, the cow is dead and they are still functional shoes and comfy. It would be awful of me to buy any more but I consider old ones to be fine.

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