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AIBU to be so upset about OH comments?

(14 Posts)
CreativeBee Fri 13-May-16 15:28:13

I posted a thread on here a few weeks ago about a referral to OH by work because I had an injury whilst at work. I have been off for nearly 10 weeks now and saw OH today. I am still in a lot of pain and the results from my MRI scans show I have a protruding disc and lesions. Anyways as part of procedures I have been to see OH and I've come back really upset because of her comments. According to her because the "alleged" injury took place nearly ten weeks ago I could be procrastinating my pain! She said "I don't know if you have put in an injury claim but if you have, you do realise that by prolonging your pain you won't get any more money!" I was gobsmacked. It's clear I am in a lot of pain and I'm on extra strength painkillers, I also showed her letters about being referred to a spinal specialist. I felt she was being really patronising and she then said that she had herniated her disc and it took two years to heal (to get pain free) at this point I just burst into tears, the thoughts of being in this much pain for much longer depreesses me. I can't walk properly at all but according to OH it's the way I'm holding myself, maybe that is the case but when you're in pain you do anything you can to alleviate it. I don't want to be in pain and it kills me that I can't do the things I was able to do, not only with my children but also work but for someone to suggest you're causing the pain and it isn't as bad as what I'm making it out to be really frustrated me. Am I just being over sensitive and unreasonable to be angry at her comments and to think she was patronising?

Littleorangecat Fri 13-May-16 15:48:56

If OH have said that about the pain of herniated discs I would question how qualified they actually are. I had a really large slipped disc and at its largest extent I was taken to hospital in an ambulance screaming. Morphine did nothing for the pain. Very unprofessional, ask them to put those comments in writing to you.

Greydog Fri 13-May-16 15:51:01

go and speak to a union rep. I find a great many OH people have no idea.

CreativeBee Fri 13-May-16 16:00:37

Greydog, my union rep actually came with me to the appointment, he said she was playing devils advocate (whatever that means). He said he understood why I was upset but we need to wait for the report and if it isn't what it should be we'll appeal it, although it is OH's opinion so what we'd really want is a second opinion. I just feel really angry and upset, she made me feel like I was playing it up, trust me I'd rather be back at work than hobbling around in pain! Oh and the other thing she said was that many people walk around with prolapsed discs and have no problems, it's not necessary that the injury actually caused the prolapsed disc but the MRI will determine that!

Wolfiefan Fri 13-May-16 16:04:27

I'm so sorry to hear this. I have slipped discs and arthritis. I was in bloody agony and ended up crying to a physio. She basically told me it was perfectly standard muscular back pain and would clear up in a couple of weeks. She was so patronising and also so wrong.
Hoping the MRI comes through soon. If you don't require surgery then get to a great physio ASAP. That was my saviour!
PS now pain and med free. Due to exercise and physio.

CreativeBee Fri 13-May-16 16:13:12

Wolfiefan how long did it take to be pain free? I am in so much pain and feel so frustrated that I can't even begin to explain how it feels and you know it's not a pain you can actually show sad

Wolfiefan Fri 13-May-16 16:20:20

I was so depressed and miserable. There were days when I could almost have wished to die because I hurt sooooo much. (Never intended to hurt myself!)
I couldn't give you a number of weeks. Sorry.
Physio. And find a bloody good one. Mine would come back each week and find something else that needed attention.
Physio also did massage
Physio exercises. I had nooooo core.
Weight loss. But then I was massive and that affected my mood and physical health too.
Exercise. Especially walking. The more I move the less I hurt!
I also resorted to injections in my spine. Great surgeon. They told me they would need redoing but so far so good.
Feel free to stay in touch. It is just so awful and no one can understand how painful and exhausting it can be.

CreativeBee Fri 13-May-16 16:25:01

Thank you so much, as bizarre as this sounds your first to sentences bring me comfort. I am really sorry you felt like that but actually hearing someone else say what I am thinking helps me feel that I'm not the only one going through this and someone else understands I'm not making up this pain. Thank you, you have no idea how you have made me feel (consider this your good deed for the WEEK lol) xxx

CreativeBee Fri 13-May-16 16:25:20

*two sentences

RB68 Fri 13-May-16 16:29:50

with these sorts of injuries you can't say how long because every injury is pretty much unique. I have had sciatica as a result of a bulging disc and was told anything from 3 mths to a year - 7 weeks down the line I wld say I am 90 to 95 % there. My only advice is to get to an osteopath and let them help you, teach you how to sleep for comfort, sit and so on - when we are in pain we do hold ourselves wrong and can cause other issues - for me the osteo was worth her weight in gold in terms of sorting it quickly and looking forward helping me to prevent further injury. Having said that she is an OH not a back specialist so what the bugger does she know!! Don't take it to heart but also don't let her ride rough shod over medical opinion either. And get a bloody claim in so you can pay for the osteo. Make sure you have a range of pain killers to handle the pain and that will help you not hold yourself wrongly as well. Its important to get better than anything else. Good luck.

Wolfiefan Fri 13-May-16 16:46:11

Yay I did a good deed.
It was the darkest of times. And I'm soooo much better.
Available for hand holding duties. (Not hugs as it is MN and anyway they HURT if you have a bad back!!)

Truffles04 Fri 13-May-16 16:55:58

playing devils advocate just means you put forth a viewpoint you don't necessarily think/believe in.

Sometimes people can make their own pain worse - not intentionally, but because we're prone to compensate for injuries which can lead to tenseness or strain.

Just try and keep in mind its possible you're also feeling depressed from the injury having such a major impact on your life and if so, you'll be predisposed to seeing those types of comments in a negative light.

Remember, even if some people do exaggerate, you're not and you have the doctors records to prove it. I know its hard from personal experience (even if the pain isn't disabling, being in pain constantly is very very very exhausting and takes a lot out of you) but try not to worry. Worrying won't change what happens - try and focus on the solution instead.

CreativeBee Fri 13-May-16 17:06:38

Thank you all so much, I think you are right Truffles04, I am feeling extremely down as I haven't been out of the house unless it has been for appointments. The one thing that OH said is to ensure I don't compromise my mental wellbeing I should try and get out of the house and as my DH was also at the appointment it's the one thing he has held on to and is forcing me to go out for a meal. It's his birthday on Monday and he's saying we can go out and celebrate tonight instead. Honest truth is I don't really want to go because sitting is painful but I know I have to for him as well as me, he's been so caring and patient it's the least I can do. Extra painkillers, means I won't need the wine atleast lol.

Truffles04 Fri 13-May-16 19:07:16

I know the feeling - foot injury at work. I'd sometimes force myself to go out rather than let people down and often, it would end up being a really good night and i'd be glad I went.

Perhaps a read of this site might help and don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about the mental effects of your injury as well as the physical ones -

If the pain relief isn't effective, maybe ask the doctor about that also - usually alternating between two different painkillers is more effective than just strong relief on its own. And maybe ask if hot/cold might help - if so and you can get a moor mud pack, they're absolutely bloody amazing for back pain especially. I picked some up on recommendation from a friend - can microwave them, put them in the oven, put them in the fridge/freezer and they keep their temperature for hours (like 8-9 hours) and they're reusable - last years.

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