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AIBU?

DP and 4yo tennis!

16 replies

InvoicedAgainFFS · 12/05/2016 13:48

My partner wants our pre schooler (summer born about to turn 4 and F/T nursery in the school she will attend through to y6) to start tennis lessons on a Wednesday lunchtime - the children miss their lunchtime play for this. I have said no way, she's too little and needs her playtime at this age - it's a long day after all. And especially as she's in full time nursery at an age where a lot of children aren't.

He's v sporty and thinks it will be fun for her, but that's coming from the perspective of an adult IMHO who loves tennis. He says he wants her to get the best start so she plays well from an early age.

I've told him to take her on Saturdays if he really wants her to learn. Surely playing, running around and letting off steam is way more important for another few years??

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curren · 12/05/2016 13:51

I don't think either of you are unreasonable. It's just a different point of view.

Does she want to do it?

Both my kids (12 & 5) did a sport one lunchtime a week from starting full time. They loved it and now do it as a hobby after school. They got to mix with kids of all ages that they wouldn't normally be able to mix with. They found it really fun.

But they wanted to do it and their friends did too.

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parrotonmyshoulder · 12/05/2016 14:04

My almost 4 year old wouldn't notice if he was missing his lunchtime play - he plays so much of the time at preschool anyway, as he should.

Your school's set up sounds much more formal though. Would the lessons really be the whole lunchtime for a preschooler? My 6 year old's tennis lessons are only 40 minutes on a Sunday and that's long enough.

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Oriunda · 12/05/2016 14:07

My son started tennis when he was 3 and a friend's son started it same age at nursery - tennis is a great way to use fine motor skills whilst having fun running around. I can't see the problem or difference between that and playtime?

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PatriciaHolm · 12/05/2016 14:08

Well, at this age, tennis lessons will be the same as lunchtime play. Does she show any interest in tennis at all?

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NeedACleverNN · 12/05/2016 14:09

I think you nbu actually especially as you came up with an alternative. (Taking her on a Saturday)

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Witchend · 12/05/2016 14:23

To be honest at 4yo all you're doing is playing ball games which may be what she's doing anyway. You don't do much formal teaching at that age, it's about fun games.

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LikeTheShoes · 12/05/2016 14:43

My DC does tennis after a littlies tennis group (which he used to go to) they don't really play tennis, just run around and play games with soft balls.
Some of the games are a bit tennisy like sharks and fishes: the coach gently hits balls at everyone as they run across the court, if you're out. Or another one where they run to the right line on the court -good for learning the layout and language but not "tennis"

I'm sure there are weeks when they don't touch their rackets for the whole session. The classes are 1 hour and they have a break half way.

The DC really enjoyed them and have all gone on to propper tennis as they got older.

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CurlyBlueberry · 12/05/2016 14:47

Mmm, well most of what they do at this age is play anyway, she may well really enjoy it.

BUT if he is good, I actually think him taking her on Saturdays is win-win. He can spend precious quality time with her, introducing her to a sport he loves and building her skill in it. So on balance I would say it's best he does that. If she does turn out to have a good interest and skill level she can always do more formal training in couple/few years or so? Surely lessons at this age won't be more than her father can offer?

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FrenchJunebug · 12/05/2016 14:48

I am with you on this. Unless she has expressed a strong interest in tennis there is not way I would agree to this. There are other way to be sporty. Also starting early is not guarantee she will like it or be good at it.

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curren · 12/05/2016 15:04

I don't get why the child can't do this and go on Saturdays?

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PatriciaHolm · 12/05/2016 15:06

I was always a fan of retaining my weekends as long as possible! Now mine are 10/11, every weekend has football or cricket...

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InvoicedAgainFFS · 12/05/2016 15:25

Thanks for thoughts. She's expressed an interest, yes, but that has a lot to do with the fact that he talks about it a lot with her- I don't think she has much of a concept of what tennis actually is!

Was interested to hear that it's a lot of games rather than actual tennis - I suppose that's quite obvious now thinking about it! Will maybe see if they'll let her do a taster lesson and see if she wants to continue

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Gottagetmoving · 12/05/2016 15:50

Its one lunch time a week. Why not let her do it and see if she wants to continue? Can't do any harm.
If she likes it then it is just as good as free play, if not - you can stop it.

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Strokethefurrywall · 12/05/2016 16:17

DS1 is also 4 years old and has been playing tennis for about a year. He absolutely loves it. He's also at pre-school full time and one day a week the tennis coach comes and picks him up (and the other children that do tennis lessons) and drives them to the court and then drops them off again.

I didn't think I'd have to really be worrying about extra-curricular activities until he started kindergarten but I'm happy for him to continue as long as he loves it and I'd like to encourage a love for a sport.

I don't think it's actually formal tennis training, more developing the hand eye coordination and concentration to keep eye on the ball etc. I think as they get older they will naturally get better and then a desire to train formerly may come into it.

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Ameliablue · 12/05/2016 16:26

It's entirely up to you both to decide but isn't nursery, play based the majority of the time and tennis at that age is also likely to be mainly running about and playing.

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Oysterbabe · 12/05/2016 16:31

I think I agree with your DH. It will be as much fun as playtime.

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