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To think there are size double standards on mumsnet?

(240 Posts)
Tobeavsangel Wed 11-May-16 23:25:01

So I read a thread and a model is being ripped apart for her looks and size.

There was even a comment about how the company should pay her to eat .... Could you imagine the outrage if it was a plus size model and I said the company should have her cut down on her portion sizes?

I'm not even skinny (size 10) but I just hate this double standard on mumsnet.

Vardyparty Wed 11-May-16 23:26:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LegoCaltrops Wed 11-May-16 23:28:50


JuxtapositionRecords Wed 11-May-16 23:29:54

Not just MN, this happens everywhere and it is awful.

Onlyicanclean10 Wed 11-May-16 23:30:05

That's a strange post.

No on mumsnet usually comments on any size are challenged.

Been on mumsnet for over 10 years and no there's no general double standards.

MilkTooth Wed 11-May-16 23:30:27

Is that the thread involving the The Kooples dress as a wedding outfit? I've not really read the thread, but I did look up the dress at the beginning and it spontaneously struck me that not just that model, but all the models on that part of the website, looked not just very thin, but unkempt and rather ill.

MizK Wed 11-May-16 23:31:56

YANBU to be annoyed but i dont think there is a double standard...have seen many comments bashing fat people. Haven't noticed anti-skinny remarks but am sure they exist also. So I reckon that either extreme is criticised on here. In fact, as a size 10 you are probably in the safe zone (though someone may come along and point out that vanity sizing means that you are probably obese wink )

phoolani Wed 11-May-16 23:32:40

It's all shite. Regardless of what the size is, the idea that women should be a certain size is just patriarchy in action.

Baconyum Wed 11-May-16 23:35:16

Yabu plenty of fat shaming on here too, look at the heatwave and fat thread.

I'm overweight and get shit, dd very slim and gets shit, women should not be getting judged on their size at all! Men rarely are unless they are extremely overweight.

Baconyum Wed 11-May-16 23:35:45

X post with phoolani there

JuxtapositionRecords Wed 11-May-16 23:41:23

How is it patriarchal when it is almost always women discussing and deciding what sizes are acceptable or not? I genuinely have never in my everyday life heard a man mention a woman's size. I hear it from women in some shape or form pretty much everyday.

phoolani Wed 11-May-16 23:42:32

Ha, even if they're extremely overweight, men still don't get the same shit that women do. And when was the last time you saw a man publicly shamed for being 'too skinny'?

phoolani Wed 11-May-16 23:43:26

You think women are somehow exempt from living in a patriarchy?

TheNaze73 Wed 11-May-16 23:43:28

Well said juxta

I think thin women get a rawer deal in general, than their larger counterparts

MilkTooth Wed 11-May-16 23:46:33

Juxta, because women are traditionally socialised to survey their own and other women's appearance as part of a perceived competition for male attention. The fact that women have internalised the fact that their appearance is the most important thing about them is patriarchy in action.

MargaretCavendish Wed 11-May-16 23:51:01

"I think thin women get a rawer deal in general, than their larger counterparts"

Oh come on, really? I've been thin, I've been a bit overweight, and I've loved people who are very overweight. There is absolutely no question that society treats thin people much better than it treats overweight people (and particularly than it treats overweight women).

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 11-May-16 23:52:52

So many bright, intelligent women out there, masquerading as thick and stupid sheep who cannot think for themselves... We KNOW there is a patriarchy so, what do we do about it? Absolutely nothing, we just keep the thick-wit comments about other women coming and coming...

The patriarchy honestly has nothing to fear!

JuxtapositionRecords Wed 11-May-16 23:54:08

That's interesting milk - I know it seems stupid but I have never thought of it like that.

Pinkheart5915 Wed 11-May-16 23:55:20

I personally don't care if somebody is fat, thin or whatever. Every body should get equal treatment.
In life there is double standards everywhere. I do sometimes feel if your a woman somebody always finds something to say about you

herecomethepotatoes Thu 12-May-16 06:35:13

I think trying to blame men for this is absolutely mental.

I know there's some weak and feeble excuse about women being judgy because of the 'man's world' they live in or a patriarchal society has nothing to do with women tearing each other apart, worrying about their appearance and then trying to blame the opposite sex. It's time people ('feminists') took responsibility for their own actions although I realise how unfashionable it is in today's society.

OP Of course there's a double standard and being underweight is as dangerous as being fat. I'd guess that the comments about her being underweight blamed the fact that she is 'forced' to conform to some ideal of beauty. That may be true but it isn't one imposed by men. Overweight people never feel this 'force' to conform to 'typical beauty'.

I realise we all come in different shapes and sizes but the reason under and over are used as prefixes with the root 'weight' are because people in those categories are outside the normal healthy bounds.

Thefitfatty Thu 12-May-16 06:40:40

I do think there is quite a bit of concern trolling for overweight people on this site, but rarely see the reverse unless it's clear the op is very very underweight.

Thefitfatty Thu 12-May-16 06:42:24

Op I suggest you look up some of the threads that have been posted on here about Tess Holliday.

AliceScarlett Thu 12-May-16 06:43:32

Yanbu. Thin shaming is a thing.

splendide Thu 12-May-16 06:45:43

I'm always amazed when I read people saying that it's just women who are horrible about size and you never hear a man doing it. I assume you've never been fat if you think that - believe me I had far more men comment than women. I've never had a woman lean out a van and shout "fat cunt" for example.

curren Thu 12-May-16 06:52:20


To be honest I don't go on threads about weight at all. Any discussion on weight has certain posters that turn up and scream 'it's fat shaming' even when it's clearly not. It's a discussion and no attacks or degrogatory remarks have been made.

I have seen thin shaming laughed at on here. Apparently it's not a real thing, because by being thin you are at an advantage so should just accept negative comments and brush it off.

But I wouldn't say MN has a double standard. I would say some people are dicks.

Also body shaming is becoming a thing for men. As the mother of a boy, it's something I worry about. I also have a Dd and worry about it for her.

Dh has had a life time of jibes because he is on the slightly short side. He is very slim and has no interest in 'bulking up' and has comments from many people. Such as 'you don't have to be so small, why not bulk up'.

If I see the father days meme that says 'your dad does lift? Well then wish him happy Mother's Day from me' one more time, I will scream. It's sexist shit for both sexes.

It's not as common for men but it's on the rise and I am concerned for boys as much as I am for girls, who will deal with this in the future.

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