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WIBU to go away for a few days?

(13 Posts)
YumBountyChoc Wed 11-May-16 18:09:06

DH and I got married last week, I single handedly organised everything including my own hen party and DHs stag. I asked for help off DH and he said he didn't know what to do despite my clear instructions to "google someone local who supplies balloons for parties then call or email them" and to "speak to his best friend/best man about the plan for the stag do". It was quicker to organise it myself. I had no bridesmaids bar my DD so couldn't ask them.

Alongside that my DD, 10 months, has been teething on and off since Christmas; which has made her grumpy, inconsolable and clingy. And DH thought it would be a brilliant idea to get me a cat as a valentines present - I love cats and we had discussed getting one after the wedding, but he went out and chose one for me, who happened to be afraid of new people and a little destructive. She's fine now, but it was stressful for the first 6 weeks of having her.

Due to DDs teething she hasn't wanted to go to anyone but me. I'm a SAHM so I just kept her with me rather than sending her to friends/family for a couple of hours like I usually do.

DDs teeth are finally through, but I'm exhausted. Until Christmas she slept through the night from 6 weeks old, but since the teething has woke up on average 6 times a night. DH sleeps through it, so it's me getting up to console her, give her calpol/teething gel, and rub her belly til she goes back to sleep.

DH never does bedtime, despite only working 4 days a week. He works 11am-7pm so is back from work after she's in bed, and on the remaining nights a week he's either doing his hobby (5.30-8pm), the once or twice he's done bedtime when he's been on AL on the nights he'd normally work I've had to talk him step-by-step through it -- Because of course bottle, bath, book, bed is so hard to get to grips with--

I'm thinking of just booking a weekend away for next weekend. We have a weekend away booked just DH and I with the money from the wedding for after DDs first birthday in June - PILs will look after her then. But I need a break now - a long undisturbed soak in the bath, a glass of wine (I rarely drink, but need it) and a full nights sleep in a comfy bed.

There's £200 left from some money my granddad gave me before we got married - he was happy for us to use it for other things if not the wedding. So WIBU to use this money to go away even if just for one night?

nicenewdusters Wed 11-May-16 18:13:34

No, not unreasonable at all, sounds like a brilliant idea. I'm sure your grandad would be very pleased to see his granddaughter getting some good sleep and relaxing, even if only for one night.

coco1810 Wed 11-May-16 18:30:04

Go for it!

queenofthepirates Wed 11-May-16 18:32:58

No you should absolutely martyr yourself to parenting

Just kidding, have a lovely weekend!

ThatStewie Wed 11-May-16 18:35:30

I don't think the question is 'would you be unreasonable to have a break' but rather why is your DH refusing to take his fair share of the caring responsibilities at home. Why did you do all the work organising your wedding and why is his hobby good gem preference over caring for his own child. You might be a SAHM but getting up 6 times a night with a teething child has quite serious impacts on your physical and mental health. He should be stepping up to help - especially on nights when he's not working the next day. Equally, bedtime is hardly rocket science. He shouldn't need his hand held through the process. You wouldn't need a night away in a hotel to sleep if he participated properly within the home.

FeckinCrutches Wed 11-May-16 18:35:54

Go have a lovely night. Then sort your lazy shite of a husband out when you get back. Why on earth did you get married to him?

ThatStewie Wed 11-May-16 18:36:58

<given preference>
Fecking autocorrect

YumBountyChoc Wed 11-May-16 18:40:06

ThatStewie When he's not doing his hobby he is good with DD, will take her for walks/to the park, will change nappies and feed her etc I just think he's a bit worried about doing something in the wrong order and upsetting her routine. And he cooks on the 3 nights a week he's not working and does 50% of the housework so he's not a bad husband, just a bit dim.

Playduh Wed 11-May-16 18:40:35

Absolutely go! I have a deal with DH which allows me to run away for the weekend every four or five months. I'm a SAHM too and DH runs his own business. It's the only way I get a proper rest and it reminds DH that he is a perfectly good dad.


bubblegurl252 Wed 11-May-16 19:17:49

Definitely go, enjoy it smile

sharknad0 Wed 11-May-16 19:29:56

I've had to talk him step-by-step through it -- Because of course bottle, bath, book, bed is so hard to get to grips with--

to be fair, what feels like second nature when you are a SAHM is not that obvious for a working parent who is not around all the time.

Your DH is lucky to be able to keep his hobby, fair enough you deserve your own weekend off. I would go for it!

Pinkheart5915 Wed 11-May-16 19:33:25

No not unreasonable.
Have a night away somewhere

bubblegurl252 Wed 11-May-16 20:17:21

Well it's definitely not unreasonable, my husband has just said I can have one lol

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