To think this is bad manners and a shitty way to treat someone?

(19 Posts)
Plantlover101 Wed 11-May-16 17:53:36

I was due to visit sister 1 in her city this Friday, which has been arranged for a long time. I live two and a half hours away and my partner, who also lives in another city, kindly offered to drop me off because it's on his way back home (he lives 3 and a half hours away).

Earlier this week, sister 2 rang me and said would I like to get together this Friday as her daughter was home from overseas and was leaving town almost immediately for a new job up north.

I said it seemed a good idea but out of courtesy would have to check with sister 1, who would hopefully come too. I also asked if my partner could come too, if he wanted to.

She said probably not as there wasn't room to put him up as well.
In the event, he told me he only expected to drop me off there and was leaving straight away to go home.

I hadn't managed to get hold of her again since but earlier on she left a voicemail saying sister 1 was coming over to her place, along with her daughter (who's back from overseas) and her son, and that my partner "was not invited as daughter just wants it to be close family, and my bf isn't coming either".

The point is, her bf hasn't just driven her two and a half hours to drop her off.

I think this is very poor form. There is no way I would treat her partner like this! Neither would my partner or his family dream of doing this to me or any of my family, were the position reversed.

I'm disgusted. Even though my partner is going home straight away. God forbid he might want to use their toilet before setting off immediately - maybe they'll direct him to the facilities at the local pub!!!!

Please talk some sense into me before I start a family row. angryangryangry

Justmuddlingalong Wed 11-May-16 17:58:21

He's dropping you off though, so I think you're overreacting.

Kungfupandaworksout16 Wed 11-May-16 17:59:32

I don't think anybody is wrong or in the right. It's all personal views. She obviously wants it to be close family around which is understandable. You want your partner there which is also understandable. But you've got to respect your sisters wishes it's her house. Bite your lip and put on your big girl pants and enjoy a family weekend together

Plantlover101 Wed 11-May-16 17:59:52

Yeah, you're right muddling. I know. I'm a "roof raiser" - according to a friend.

Lilaclily Wed 11-May-16 18:00:30

She doesn't like him sad

SmallBee Wed 11-May-16 18:01:47

Is your partner really close with your family? If he spends loads of time with them usually then I think YANBU a bit, although her bf isn't coming either.
But as your partner isn't too bothered I would be tempted to bite my tongue, enjoy seeing your family but possibly have a quiet word afterwards that you see your partner as part of the family and don't appreciate them being excluded.

he is only not invited to the 'event' doesn't mean they won't invite him in for a wee and a cuppa or something does it?

AyeAmarok Wed 11-May-16 18:03:12

He isn't staying anyway why does it matter?

I'm sure they'd let him use the loo.

You're looking for a problem where there isn't one.

Plantlover101 Wed 11-May-16 18:04:59

Yes, it crossed my mind that they don't like him. And thanks for talking sense into me, folks.

WorraLiberty Wed 11-May-16 18:09:49

She said she couldn't put him up for the night and you've taken that as he can't use the bog, before setting off home? confused

DeadGood Wed 11-May-16 18:16:52

You want them to change the whole nature of the event simply because of your means of transport. It has nothing to do with your sisters how you arrive. Does that make sense?
Hope you guys have fun

positivity123 Wed 11-May-16 18:25:52

It's quite a small thing to be 'disgusted' about but I agree it's a bit rude. I wouldn't say anything though

TheUnsullied Wed 11-May-16 18:26:13

If you'd chosen to get a coach, should she have invited the driver? How you choose to get there shouldn't determine who's invited. And her not inviting him to stay the night doesn't translate to her saying he's not allowed to use the loo either. If he's particularly close to your family I'd understand your complaint but that seems unlikely given the distance.

Hurryhurryhurry Wed 11-May-16 18:28:00

But isn't he only dropping you off as he's going in that direction anyway?

Would he have dropped you off if he had to come back again?

Hurryhurryhurry Wed 11-May-16 18:29:04

Tbf, I have a much better time with my sister when out dps aren't there. We can relax a bit more and chat shite

Plantlover101 Wed 11-May-16 18:33:14

Once again, thanks for talking sense into me, folks. flowers

grin at Unsullied

Gwenhwyfar Wed 11-May-16 19:13:15

Isn't there a public transport option even if someone had to pick you up from the station/bus stop? 2 and a half hours is a long way to drop someone off.

pictish Wed 11-May-16 19:25:16

Unsullied is right. I agree you're looking for offence where there is none.

Kariana Wed 11-May-16 20:34:40

To be fair the invitation was originally only to you, not your partner. You asked if the invitation could include your partner and the answer is no. I don't think that's at all unreasonable on her part whether there is room for him to sleep or not. She was probably hoping for a nice family get together with her sisters and children and may even have felt that you trying to invite your partner to stay at her house was a little unreasonable on your part. Sorry but I think your making an issue where there isn't one.

Relax and enjoy time with your sisters!

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