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To want Google this man, TEAR his ears off and make him eat them?

(138 Posts)
BoccadiLupa Wed 11-May-16 16:15:17

My lovely DM (64) was left by her husband for another (younger) woman 3 years ago - not my DF, he left when I was tiny. She has taken a real knock to her self-confidence and it has taken real work to get over the 'why does everyone leave me' thing. Recently she signed up to an internet dating site, with one of her friends, I think they signed up after a few glasses of wine.
Anyway. She went on a first date with a man who seemed lovely: they had chatted on the phone, he seemed interesting, cultured everything. On the date, all seemed to be going well until he said to her "Ah, I want you to know, I have never been in a relationship with someone who isn't slim. And I guess that with your shape, even on a diet, you'd struggle to lose weight. You are really big boned, I can see that". He then rang later that evening to say that it wasn't going to work out, because he couldn't find someone her shape attractive and that she 'lacked energy'.
Info: my Mum is a size 18, far from obese and dresses really well for her shape. She is full of energy and does sport, classes, travels etc. She looks great! Anyway, since this date she has been in floods of tears and she confessed to me this morning that she didn't get out of bed at all day yesterday because there was no point and no one was ever going to find her attractive again.
I HATE him. I want to Google him and call him up and say "you IDIOT. Have some MANNERS. Don't tell a woman that she is fat! Find some other reason to refuse a second date if you think she is hideous". And PS Didn't you see her profile photo (which is a full length shot of her).
WTF is wrong with people?

SweetChickadee Wed 11-May-16 16:16:52


I'll hold him down for you...

Vagabond Wed 11-May-16 16:17:56

Thats's disgusting behaviour, and of course, you feel defensive for your mum. What a pig. I'd be doing the same!

McButtonwillow Wed 11-May-16 16:18:09

Yanbu your poor mum!

What a shallow bastard- can you set up a revenge date with him with a slim, gorgeous woman then get her to break it to him during the date that she couldn't possibly find someone with such a huge ego (and a probably tiny penis) attractive.

flowers for your mum.

Stylingwax Wed 11-May-16 16:18:12

Happy to lend a hand.
What a twat.
flowers and shit loads of cake for your mum who sounds fab.

Katedotness1963 Wed 11-May-16 16:18:32

YABU. By not going far enough! There was no need for him to say such a thing. What a prick he was.angry

KnitsBakesAndReads Wed 11-May-16 16:20:09

What a knob. Your punishment sounds too lenient to me OP. flowers for your mum who sounds like she deserves better than this pathetic excuse for a man.

LineyReborn Wed 11-May-16 16:20:46

If he saw a full length photo of your mum before meeting her, then he is on a nasty power trip, and he is a freak, and you need to tell your mum that sadly she had an unfortunate encounter with an emotional predator.

It's nothing to do with her or her worth. The man is unhinged.

BoccadiLupa Wed 11-May-16 16:21:17

This is brilliant - do you really think I can call him? I'll use a posh voice and be really polite, not abusive or anything, promise. Like "Oh, is that Mr. X? This is Bocca, daughter of DM. I understand that you recently frequented the X restaurant together? I understand that you made some rather unfortunate and undignified comments. Can I clarify that you said ... [insert]?" etc !

BoccadiLupa Wed 11-May-16 16:22:51

I have told her that he is seriously mad and I love the idea of a revenge date. Maybe ME! smile

DaisyAdair Wed 11-May-16 16:24:34

I'm the same age as your mum and am full of admiration for her getting back out there. Hopefully she'll find someone who deserves her soon, some men are such arses.

I'd want to rip off more than his ears by the way!

MitzyLeFrouf Wed 11-May-16 16:29:15

What a cunty fucknugget thing to do.

I hope he develops knob rot.

Ouriana Wed 11-May-16 16:29:55

Id be tempted to rope several friends into all going on revenge dates with him.

He could be dumped every night for a different reason...
Bo. Bad breath. Terrible sense of humour. Ears too prominent, jaw too slack, too much visible nose hair... and of course for having a terrible body!

flowers to your mum, she does not need a relationship with someone who could be that cruel.

LastGirlOnTheLeft Wed 11-May-16 16:30:42

I concur with Liney. It seems he is that type of awful man who gets a kick from putting women down and badly affecting their self worth. I hate him too OP!!

EponasWildDaughter Wed 11-May-16 16:31:40

The revenge date does sound fabulous. Attractive woman for a meal out, then at the end of the day pick out one of his physical features (one that was visible in his pic) and say - 'ah, i see you have a big nose/ugly eyes/bad skin/old man ears/grey hair/saggy mouth and ... sorry ... but i couldn't possibly stomach seeing that again' and walk out.

Sad thing is his ego is probably big enough to withstand it, unlike your mum's OP.


LineyReborn Wed 11-May-16 16:32:50

He knew what your mum looked like before the date, so he fully intended to be cruel to her about it.

It's because the arsehole doesn't like women.

So revenge dates are pointless. He'll just take it as proof that his dislike of women and his cruelties are justified.

SandyMcSandface Wed 11-May-16 16:35:17

Please do what Ouriana says, and then write about it on here (with his pic) so it ends up in Daily Fail.

BoccadiLupa Wed 11-May-16 16:35:19

LOVE revenge dates idea. She was just too vulnerable to have someone do that to her. It's weird - I had prepped her lots of different internet dating scenarios like the man who just wants sex and no relationship, the man who isn't over his ex etc but I really didn't think that I'd have to contend with 'the man who makes you feel worthless all over again just for the sake of it'. I am going to show her this thread to cheer her up.

Hissy Wed 11-May-16 16:35:22

Sadly this is not too far outside the shot that goes on in old - I feel for your DM, and this man is a grade a* wanker, but there are many, many people who are single for a reason.

I find out how long their previous relationships were, if they are nasty about previous partners, it's another red flag.

poorbuthappy Wed 11-May-16 16:36:12

I remember getting this feedback from a friend of my sister's once after a semi blind date. It didn't affect me that much because I could see he was a twat during the date. However I did smile slightly after he married what he classed as a typical pretty woman who then divorced him rather quickly after taking him to the cleaners financially.

Idiots. There's a few about.

BoccadiLupa Wed 11-May-16 16:36:49

So no one thinks that actually calling him up and calling him out on it might work?

FutureGadgetsLab Wed 11-May-16 16:37:09

What an absolute twat. Definitely do the revenge!

SwearyInn Wed 11-May-16 16:37:38

set up a fake dat then don't turn up. Send a message saying you turned up and checked him out from a distance and decided he was far too unattractive. And that his dress sense was terrible. Recommend some clothes shops and a good barber and say maybe he'd have more luck OLD after that?

Never ever reveal you're connected to your mum - leave him to sweat and feel shitty.

MitzyLeFrouf Wed 11-May-16 16:37:44

he is on a nasty power trip, and he is a freak, and you need to tell your mum that sadly she had an unfortunate encounter with an emotional predator.

Most probably true. Only someone who got a kick out of wounding would act like this.

BoccadiLupa Wed 11-May-16 16:40:32

OOh sweary I like it.

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