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In light of a mumsnetters new found fame.....

(115 Posts)
Catvsworld Wed 11-May-16 13:41:06

Your most grabby stories

I will go first my son who was 13 at the time was invited to a theme park I didn't think nothing of it and said he could go but he would pass my number to the boys mum to sort out how they are getting there meet up times ect

The night before I get a text saying just to let you know it will be £80 for the following
Fast pass
And lunch confused

Before I could respond I then got a text saying I understand you will have 3 spare seats in the back could you pick up .....and ........and ........ Followed by there address its all been sorted wtf

I had to tell my son sadly he wouldn't go as she invited him and we didn't have £80 spare and even if we did have the money to go no way would we be paying for a fast pass and definitely wouldn't be leaving a hour early to pick up the other boys as they didn't even leave near us let alone near each other o sadly it meant the other 3 boys couldn't go but why on earth she felt she could arrange lifts when she hadn't asked me and for boys I or my son didn't even no

Grabby birthday lady

Candypops14 Wed 11-May-16 13:50:53

Not asking you if you could pick the other boys up for lifts was rude and she should of said at the time how much it would be, but if my son was invited to a theme park I would expect to pay for him I wouldn't expect someone else to I'd also expect to pay for his lunch or pack him one

TheSuspiciousMsWhicher Wed 11-May-16 13:54:00

Well, the lift thing is beyond rude but did you seriously expect your son to have a day out at an expensive theme park for free? If the message came via your DS, it seems something got lost in translation.

tiggytape Wed 11-May-16 13:54:36

It depends if the "invite" was one person taking the lead to organise a day out for a group of friends in which case they'd all pay individually.
Or if it was a birthday invite and he was inviting 2 or 3 friends to a theme park for the day (in which case you might assume the hosts were paying)

BlueFolly Wed 11-May-16 13:57:10

If my DD was invited to a day out, yes I would expect the parents doing the inviting would pay for her. If not then I would expect that to be clear at the time of inviting, so I could make an informed decision.

SavoyCabbage Wed 11-May-16 14:05:01

I would expect to pay for my own child once they are this age and they are making their own plans like this.

Their arrangements are more like those we make with our own friends now. If I asked my friend if she fancied going to the cinema then I don't think she would think I was paying.

She's bats about the lifts though!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Wed 11-May-16 14:05:41

You invite, you pay.
Kids arrange it themselves, they each pay. They choose fast pass or whatever.

TheTartOfAsgard Wed 11-May-16 14:06:17

I took 5 of dds friends to Disney on ice one birthday, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for the money for the ticket price! Just wrote on the invitations that food/drinks would be provided and they could bring spending money if they wanted.

BishopBrennansArse Wed 11-May-16 14:07:22

Entry is one thing, but food and fast passes aren't essential. Packed lunch and queue.
As for lifts... Mynotfinkso.

Nydj Wed 11-May-16 14:08:37

I think the OP was only unwilling to pay the extra for the fast pass and the extra driving.

SavoyCabbage Wed 11-May-16 14:09:03

Birthdays are different though. Going to Disney on Ice for a birthday is like a birthday party. I would not expect to pay for that.

Curlyblow Wed 11-May-16 14:12:04

On no I was looking forward to lots of 'grabby' stories, let's not get bogged down in the grabbiness or not of OP's.

Keep them coming [hopeful face]

dailymaillazyjournos Wed 11-May-16 14:21:14

Keep going and this will be fodder for the DM's next lazy screen shot journalism. Hence name change.

Seeyounearertime Wed 11-May-16 14:21:45

I dont think i've ever been or have ever experienced grabbiness like others have. mind you i'm a pauper with two fuck alls to rub together. I even have to rent the pot i piss in tbf.

GardenFrustrationAGGHHHH Wed 11-May-16 14:23:58

I'm looking at taking DS and two friends to Alton Towers for his birthday and sleeping over - there is NO way I'll be asking either parent for any money towards it at all!! Def agree with you invite, you pay!

Ouriana Wed 11-May-16 14:35:29

My grabby story.

Five of us went for a meal. One couple very well off, far more than the rest of us. Woman in this couple announced she wanted to order her own wine rather than share, as the wine she liked was 3x the price. We were not allowed to drink it as we wouldnt appreciate it. Valid point.

At bill time grabby woman then annouced we would split the bill; bearing in mind she had spent twice as much as anyone else none of us were impressed but agreed.

She then proceeded to pay one quater of the bill, as her and her husband counted as one person shock

I know now why theyre so well off!

Queenie73 Wed 11-May-16 14:41:45

My BIL invited himself to stay at our house, with his family, then announced he'd be staying until he found a place to live in the area. He stayed for a year. Eventually Dh gave him a house he'd inherited, just to get bloody rid of him, his bitchqueen wife and their three nightmare children.

The complained loudly about two things- he didn't give them our house, which he should have since it's bigger, and we didn't also give them our barn because they wanted one.

blindsider Wed 11-May-16 14:50:40


More fool you for letting them get away with it.

MrsDeltaB Wed 11-May-16 14:55:20

Can't help but feel OP's intention of the thread has been missed somewhat, but I also have to agree, more on the point of leaving it to the night before the trip to mention it, how disappointing if child really could NOT stump up that at short notice?

Can we have more grabby stories please? Highly entertaining....I need to have a think myself!

Queenie73 Wed 11-May-16 15:13:44

Grabby Relative borrowed our car to get to work, kept it for a week and then phoned to ask if DH would come and collect it, fill it with fuel and return it because she needed it for work later.

There are loads of similar stories about this person , but TBH I'd be foaming at the mouth by the time I'd finished!

RuggerHug Wed 11-May-16 15:24:19

Before I post this I would like to acknowledge that I know this was my own fault, I should have sensed what was coming and I should have spoken up sooner. I would also like to make it clear that I have since grown a spine and am nowhere near as trusting/naive wink Also, apologies it is long but I think I should get it off my chest. That said…

I was friends with a girl I’d met while we were both late teens. At first we only saw each other once or twice a year (lived about 90 mins away from each other, neither drove) but then a lot more often. Now, we grew up under very difference circumstances. She never had, and as far as I know never has, worked. Her parents subsidised her lifestyle in between finances. She was very much a pampered bubble dweller with no real experience of the real world, knowledge of how other people live, bills, budgets etc. However, we always had a laugh together and I considered her a good friend and money was never an issue. She began blogging, enjoyed it, went to events and shared her “glamorous lifestyle” with everyone.

She decided then to host an event of her own for other bloggers to meet up. She asked if I would come and would I help organise etc. I of course said yes. This involved going to hers (90 min trip of bus and taxi €35) making up all the gift bags as she sat on her phone, doing all the lifting carrying boxes to the taxis I paid for to the bus(€15), then from there to the venue (€15). Yes I was an idiot and should have realised I was there as a dogsbody. I had cash and she said “oh I’ll def get you back later! I’m too stressed to think about these things now”.

Arrive at venue. Set up everything along with another poor soul she’d dragged in. Did a Tesco run for last minute bits needed including her smokes (€63). I of course am not allowed at the main event but am waiting in this other room in case anyone turns up at the wrong time.

Now, this venue was a bar/restaurant where obviously for a large group they take a credit card at booking. We discover when it’s time to pay the bill (everyone was paying for their own) that 1 table have already left. Now, the options were a) they were chancers who dine and dashed b) they genuinely thought it was all paid for and left c) that they paid at a different till on their way out. Venue said they wouldn’t be able to tell until they cashed up the till on Mon morning (this was Sat afternoon) but they would have to charge for them. Suggested that cash was gathered from all there so there wouldn’t be any more confusion and that the full amount for everyone was put on the card used at booking. (You can see where this is going can’t you?). Friend begins to panic. It’s her mothers credit card number she gave them, she doesn’t have the code for it and her Mother was away at the time so couldn’t get in touch to ask her. Because we were getting this all sorted on Monday I (LIKE AN IDIOT) let them use my card. Cash is gathered by friend for everyone elses meal/drinks. I don’t see any of this as I am with the staff sorting bills. So full amount goes on my card (€270.48). I also get her a taxi to her bus.

Monday: Restaurant calls me, very sorry, till fine on their end so these people did leave without paying so no refund for their amount. When they said “their amount” my brain kicked in and I realised I’d paid for more than them and that I never got the cash collected. Also, since people had heard about the ones who left without paying someone had started a collection so “friend” wouldn’t be out of pocket paying for them. She did a simpering “how kind” post thanking those who contributed (more than covering the cost of event). I (again, like an idiot) assumed I would get this next time I saw her. Nope, next time there was a crisis, then due to start a job, would pay me then.I thought she would be humiliated if I kept bringing it up so I left it to her.

Did I get paid back for any of it? Did I feck. hmmSo I paid €413 to host an event that was nothing to do with me and didn’t even get a thank you. The reason I know the exact amount btw is I kept the receipts so I wouldn’t accidently take too much from her. blushconfusedangry

If anyone got through this thank you, I feel a lot better now I've finally told someone .smile

AlpacaPicnic Wed 11-May-16 15:46:12

Oh ruggerhug, that's awful, she took such advantage of you.

Ouriana, I think the answer you were looking for is 'no fucking chance love, you pay for your own fancy wine...'

RuggerHug Wed 11-May-16 15:54:28

Thanks alpaca. She did this for other things that I only really realised far too late. I was on just above minimum wage at the time and felt she must be really hard up to leave me short. Oh the innocence.
Now I would def yell 'get your own plonk' if in ourianas situation grin

jumpjumpformylove Wed 11-May-16 16:20:44

Ruggerhug - you should have started your own blog detailing what a selfish, inconsiderate user she was.

Keely93 Wed 11-May-16 16:27:40

My brother broke his phone so I gave him my old iPhone 4s(pretty perfect still!) he decided he didn't like it, didn't tell me, sold it on Facebook the next day and then text everyone else in the family to see if they had a spare phone(Sony or something would be best apparently) I never got the money back for my phone either...

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