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To chuck a bucket of water over this couple?

(44 Posts)
NotAnotherNameChangeAgain Tue 10-May-16 16:56:36

Sat on a coach behind PDA couple from hell.
The coach is completely full so I have no option to move seats. The rows are very close together so I'm less than a foot away from the action. The designers of the coach have thoughtfully tiered the seats slightly so I'm slightly raised for an even better view.
Whilst I generally have a low regard for OTT public displays of affection, I can understand that the occasionally kiss between a loved up couple is nice and generally inoffensive.
OTT couple, however, have literally got each others tongues down the others throat. They occasionally remove their tongues to lick one another's face before resuming their brave search for each others tonsils. The noise is reminiscent of a sink being plungered. Even my loudest music (headphones) can't seem to quite block it out.
This has been going on for 2 hours. I'm slightly concerned for their oxygen intake. and my lunch staying where it should

The coach journey is 6 hours long. They have yet to come up for air.

Back when I was a child, my Great Aunt used to throw buckets of water over particularly noisy cats getting it on in her garden.

WIBU to employ the same method in this situation?

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 10-May-16 16:57:59

Ask if you can join in.

And post a photo of the looks on their faces when you ask.

troubleinstore Tue 10-May-16 17:00:29

can't you gently KICK the back of their seat? lots and lots and lots and lots

MrsMainwaring Tue 10-May-16 17:04:03

Agree , kick the seat hard when you are shifting position , they may accidentally bite each other and stop

frillyfairylights Tue 10-May-16 17:06:27

Sorry you're having to endure this but thanks, your description really made me chuckle! Have you got a pack of crisps or something with you that you could accidentally explosively open all over them?!

TheWitTank Tue 10-May-16 17:08:56

Yuck. Agree with "accidentally" and repeatedly banging into the seat, coughing loudly over them, or making a mobile call to a friend where you loudly describe the revolting scene in front of you and how grim it is. Or hang you coat over the seat gap in front to block the view, crank up the volume on your music and ignore.

hmcAsWas Tue 10-May-16 17:09:21

Laughing at 'brave search for each others tonsils'

BitOutOfPractice Tue 10-May-16 17:10:19

Licking each other's faces?! Ewwwwwww!

WorraLiberty Tue 10-May-16 17:10:38

Every time they start kissing, just stare at them manically and shout...

Nom nom nom nom....

MizK Tue 10-May-16 17:12:41

Face licking is gross!

I do remember the days of not being able to keep my paws off my DP though...to the extent we got told off at work for snogging in the break room (klassy!)

Not an issue almost 9 years on wink

Fairylea Tue 10-May-16 17:13:30

I thought this was going to be about the naked couple having sex outside the cash and carry (as featured in today's daily fail)...! grin

Unicorn1981 Tue 10-May-16 17:14:16

This reminds me of travelling on an overnight coach between towns in Vietnam where a scandinavian couple (young, blonde, attractive) were in the bed/seat next to me and had their tongues in each other's throats for the whole journey! I just shoved my headphones in and tried to sleep! Probably not helpful but I do feel your pain!

Unicorn1981 Tue 10-May-16 17:14:50

My oh was in a bed above me so it was pretty irritating!

Kungfupandaworksout16 Tue 10-May-16 17:19:07

You could always go and get closer and stand near/over them make your eyes go wide and stare at them like a crazy lady and let out the odd cackle. If that doesn't stop them don't know what else will! gringrin

TheWitTank Tue 10-May-16 17:20:40

Or sit behind panting and rubbing your legs frantically while staring grin

VoldysGoneMouldy Tue 10-May-16 17:21:17

Licking each others faces?! envy << vom.

Niklepic Tue 10-May-16 17:23:45

Start filming them and making sex noises. Bet that'll stop them or they'll invite you to join them

WriteforFun1 Tue 10-May-16 17:24:27

WitTank - brilliant grin

OP - so unfortunate that you are behind them...
I had a couple do this while seated opposite me on a train. I stared at them. They then stopped and looked at me and said "What are you looking at?" and I said "oh I do beg your pardon - I thought you were putting on a show and I was supposed to watch". They got up and moved!!

In this case I can only suggest tapping them on the shoulder and saying "any chance of ditching the sound effects - I can hear them through my headphones" and see if that embarrasses them.

AlpacaPicnic Tue 10-May-16 17:25:06

Have you got headphones? Start singing along to whatever you're 'listening' to...

Suggestions could include
"I'm horny - horny, horny, horny"
'Sex on fire'
'Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body...'

Any many more!

RuggerHug Tue 10-May-16 17:27:53

"oh I do beg your pardon - I thought you were putting on a show and I was supposed to watch".
I just snorted laughing at that on the bus grinblush

WriteforFun1 Tue 10-May-16 17:34:24

Rugger - I had a properly confused facial expression too grin

WhingyNinja Tue 10-May-16 17:36:26

I just laughed out loud at TheWitTank's suggestion, now THAT would get them to stop! I recommend furious thigh rubbing and maybe some guttural noises to go along with it, heh heh

iMatter Tue 10-May-16 17:39:13

Start recording them on your phone whilst saying "oh yeah baby" in a breathy voice.

WhingyNinja Tue 10-May-16 17:39:38

I realised TheWitTank suggested panting, I am howling at the imagery grin

Princesspeach1980 Tue 10-May-16 17:40:10

I would go with making a slurpy sink plunger noise every time they kiss, when they look at you just look innocently out of the window, and repeat each time they go back in grin

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