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Taking an instant dislike to gfs of sons / brothers

(4 Posts)
LadyAntonella Tue 10-May-16 15:23:59

This is not a TAAT but I was reading something on here which got me thinking about when men and women introduce gfs and bfs to their families. I've seen it a lot where families take an instant dislike to gfs but less often to bfs.

It's happened in my family. My dad's family never fully accepted my mother or my uncle's wife though they were married for decades. My family (except my dad and me) were not keen on my now SIL when my brother introduced her to us. My sisters don't have OHs yet so I guess I can't compare.

I should probably disclose that I also felt a bit unwelcome among my DH's family for a long time. We all get on ok now, but it's not what I would call a great relationship. I love my DMIL, but she is just an amazing woman and I would defy anyone not to love her! My relationship with SILs and FIL is a bit harder really. I noticed that SILs' OHs seem to fit in much better and I wonder why. It's probably just a personality thing and I'm overthinking, but wondered what other people have noticed.

Stardust160 Tue 10-May-16 15:31:10

My exs family was like this bunch of bitches they were Exs mother auntie and nana. They would slag anyone of. The abuse I suffered mainly from his mother was vile. I was never good enough excluded and treated like dirt. There's no excuse for that level of abuse. They all cheated on their partners and their brother left his wife for another woman. My ex did the same to me. No morals.

My DHs family are lovely MIL and SIL were both welcoming as i was nervous meeting them due to my last experience.

AppleSetsSail Tue 10-May-16 15:35:14

Possibly the discrepancy is the rather larger spectrum of appearances that a woman could assume, whereas men tend to fall within a more narrow band (this is changing, mind you). Women seem to want their brothers and sons with wholesome-looking women.

crumblybiscuits Tue 10-May-16 15:41:13

My DP's family took an instant dislike to me. They've never liked me and tried hard to convince him to break up with me because they wanted him to be free and single. They didn't know he used to be very depressed while being constantly criticised by them and now they keep saying he's "changed" when in reality he has confidence and is happier. Even now we have DD I still feel unwelcome and disliked, even if they don't say it to my face anymore. We very almost broke up a few times because of them and it's really knocked my confidence in myself. He's always said he'd never forgive them for chasing me away when they've been openly nasty.

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