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To ask if anyone honestly regrets DC2

(110 Posts)
Minimalteserbunny Mon 09-May-16 20:37:23

I adore my DS in that exhausting but wonderful way
I had always wanted more than 1 child but I had a horrendous pregnancy god awful birth and then he ended up in special care for a week

Despite having awful PTSD/PND I still think I'd love another child??

I'm scared I'll regret it

I know it's taboo to say but does anyone honestly regret having another child

NapQueen Mon 09-May-16 20:39:40

I don't "regret" it, per se. I do think that if I'd not had dc2 I'd forever be wanting them. However I've found it all incredibly hard work handling two dcs. I'm not particularly maternal which obviously doesn't help.

If I didn't have dc2 I'd be ttc dc2. But I know for certain there will be no dc3.

NapQueen Mon 09-May-16 20:40:17

So I adore dc2. But in hindsight had I known how hard it is.....

Believeitornot Mon 09-May-16 20:43:22

No regrets.

They are 6&4 now. My first was hard work - I ended up in hospital after labour and ds was in special care briefly (he was fine though). He hardly slept for the first 18-24 months. However I always knew I wanted more than one so we went for it.

With my second, birth was much easier but she was a much much worse sleeper. However I never regretted it, I just found myself desperately counting down to when it got better.

Believeitornot Mon 09-May-16 20:44:03

With hindsight I might have done things differently (eg getting help etc) but I wouldn't have never had another.

PhylumChordata Mon 09-May-16 20:46:04

Not for one second. Watching the two develop their sibling relationship is wonderful

Mull Mon 09-May-16 20:48:10

No definitely don't regret having DC2. Do I regret having children at all, hmm, sometimes blush

LoveFromUs Mon 09-May-16 20:48:58

I don't regret having him, even though I wanted a little girl. I still do but scared to "go again" incase I have another boy.

AdrenalineFudge Mon 09-May-16 20:49:18

I don't think I want kids tbh. Obviously not what you asked but I'm still on the fence and erring towards the side of no dcs as I'd rather regret that decision than regret children once they're here.

Lalaloopsyscaresme Mon 09-May-16 20:50:11

Mine are 4 and 2. If you had asked me this a year ago or just after dc2 was born I'd probably have said that I did regret it slightly. Make no mistake it's tough, especially if dc2 cries for the first 6 months like mine did.
Turning 18 months was a breakthrough, preschooler and toddler is much easier than toddler and newborn, miles easier. And they play and fight so well together, DD adores her little brother and has probably had more patience with him than I have at times.
So, my point really is that it's hard, especially at the start, but I'd never go back now, I love having both of them.

eatyouwithaspoon Mon 09-May-16 20:52:20

I am not maternal and had an awful pregnancy with dc 1 and horrendous birth followed by special care too for some weeks, oh yes spd too. Dc 2 pregnacy was almost textbook by comparison and they both give me so much joy, it was hard work but I cannot imagine not having both of them and they are so close. They have both changed my life, in some ways for the worst ( not because if them but the circumstances ) I am glad I have them, and wouldnt change a thing (about them), and the 2nd doubled the love, no regrets here!
Having said that each pregnancy and child is different,you need to do what right for you.

youknowwhattodo Mon 09-May-16 20:53:23

It is very hard at first, and i suffered from pnd with both and felt guilty for dd1 as I was spending time with newborn, but now as they are getting older it is lovely to see them together - they adore each other. I think it depends on age gap as well.

P1nkP0ppy Mon 09-May-16 20:54:06

No regrets whatsoever but two weeks before dc2 was born I suddenly realised that as dc1 wasn't sleeping through the night (aged 26months) life was going to be 'interesting' to say the least!
Dc1 slept through for the first time 2 days before dc2 arrived........

It is very hard work but equally so, so rewarding.

mathsy Mon 09-May-16 21:04:29

Today I've regretted having both of them. Grumpy, clingy 3.5 year old and grouchy, teething 15 month old! But generally it's good fun. Especially when they play nicely together. I'm hoping it gets easier as they get older winewine

FirstWeTakeManhattan Mon 09-May-16 21:10:34

As soon as they're 3+, having two is way, way easier than having one.

curren Mon 09-May-16 21:13:29

I wouldn't be without dc2. I have 7 years inbetween mine and sometimes wistfully miss the years of just one child.

Dd gets herself up, ready for school and off she pops. But ds has just started school, so I am still on the school run.

Wouldn't be without him though. Definitely no dc3 for us.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn Mon 09-May-16 21:13:55

I didn't regret DC2 for a single second, despite having a disability and being exhausted and having PND, no regrets at all.

Theladyloriana Mon 09-May-16 21:16:31

Ds 6 and DD 17 months have the most lovely relationship, and it's been one of the best things in my life watching it develop. That said, it's bloody hard work! But no regrets, not for a second.

Lovepancakes Mon 09-May-16 21:17:58

Having DC2 5 years ago has been amazing for us and a much busier and more fun dynamic- they constantly play and will only sleep in the same room . Every sibling relationship has its moments of fighting but I think this has taught them both a lot too

pearlylum Mon 09-May-16 21:18:02

No, two has been the perfect number of children for me.

Misty9 Mon 09-May-16 21:18:21

In the early days of dc2 we might have wondered aloud what the hell have we done occasionally...! But no I definitely don't regret having another. They are brilliant playmates and dc2 is usually much harder work when her brother is at nursery. She's going to really miss him when school starts this year I think.

As a pp said though, I do occasionally regret having kids at all... But that's such a taboo thing to say it seems.

PacificDogwod Mon 09-May-16 21:18:24

No, DS2 was a great idea. 3 and 4 otoh…. grin

onecurrantbun1 Mon 09-May-16 21:19:20

Adore DD2. She is wonderful and funny in her own right and seeing her relationship with her big sister is amazing. She more than doubled the love in our house as it is a privilege to see DD1 making a close relationship outside of DH and me.

I don't mean it isn't tough - God it was rough at times with a newborn and toddler (2.3 age gap). However we loved it so much we now have DD3.

Peppaismyhomegirl Mon 09-May-16 21:19:54

I'm scared, ds is 4 and I'm due ds2 in 8 weeks. Suddenly terrified

TheSnowFairy Mon 09-May-16 21:22:00

Never. He's the most tactile of all of mine and frequently gives me big hugs.

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