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To think I shouldn't have been 'expelled' from speed awareness course?

(309 Posts)
ParsleyTheLion1 Mon 09-May-16 19:49:17

Shortly before I was due to give birth to first DC, I was photographed doing 37 in a 30mph tunnel out near Docklands in London. (I hadn't realised the speed limit but that's no excuse, obviously).
By the time I'd received the speeding ticket etc and completed the paperwork for attending a speed awareness course etc, there wasn't enough time to do the course before giving birth. However, there is a time limit within which you have to do the course (a few months I think), so I booked it for the latest possible date (so that my DC would be as old as possible when I had to do it).
I attended the course when DS was 11 weeks. Course is 4 hours. Including travelling time, that meant about 5 hours in total away from DC who I left with a friend. I was still breastfeeding so had to take pump with me to the course (I was told I could duck out of the room to express when I needed to; this was crucial to me as I was recovering from a breast abscess which was being drained twice a week at hospital at the time, so management of breast engorgement was vital).
At the start of the course, we were told to keep our phones switched off. I put mine on silent and checked it a few times (discreetly). Once, I was caught checking it and the teacher ticked me off. Some 15 mins before the break in the course, I went off to pump in a next door room. I returned at the end of the break with the others.
At some point, about 20 minutes before the end of the course I checked my phone and probably started writing a text (I don't recall). The teacher spotted me and immediately just said to his assistant "take [soandso] out of here and send her home]". He said it in a harsh and peremptory fashion. I apologised and tried to plead to be allowed to stay. But he was having none of it. He said that he'd warned the class that anyone using their phone would not be allowed to complete the course and would therefore have to retake it. I am adamant that I was not made aware of this. (I can only imagine he gave this warning when I was outside pumping, or maybe had gone to the loo.)
Clearly I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing (i.e. checking and using phone to text). I did not do it to an unreasonable extent (I had to attend the course again a few days later and knew everything they were going to say and answers to the questions); I did it as discreetly as I could; and I feel it was a bit unfair that I didn't realise it would mean expulsion from the course. The teacher's manner was very unpleasant and unsympathetic also (i.e. he could have done the whole 'I'm sorry that I have to do this but these are the rules' etc).
Or maybe I got what I deserved? Who knows. I was very upset at the time. But maybe I should have just sucked it up. Which, actually, I did because I had no choice.

CMOTDibbler Mon 09-May-16 19:51:12

Very rude to have been writing a text during the course, and no need to be looking at your phone, so you got what you deserved I'm afraid

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 09-May-16 19:51:30

I think yabu. Given the nature of the course, it is surely obvious that checking your phone and sending texts isn't going to go down well?

EatShitDerek Mon 09-May-16 19:52:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NickNacks Mon 09-May-16 19:52:38


LunaLoveg00d Mon 09-May-16 19:53:26

At some point, about 20 minutes before the end of the course I checked my phone and probably started writing a text (I don't recall).

All of the rest is irrelevant, you were explicitly told NOT to use phones, and you did.
Very rude.

MrsBertMacklin Mon 09-May-16 19:53:27

YABU. If the texts were absolutely essential then you should have asked for dispensation at the start of the course.

The course is there as a 'second chance' instead of the full penalty, you're not attending at your own behest.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Mon 09-May-16 19:53:49

YABU! You were told to have your phones off, and you were using yours and were caught twice. I'm not quite sure of the relevance of the baby/breastpumping?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 09-May-16 19:54:07


You were being a total pain.

KittyOShea Mon 09-May-16 19:54:17

YABU. I am a teacher though not on a speed awareness course.

I am also unsympathetic when people are texting during my class especially when they've already been spoken to about it.

Of course in my case I could confiscate your phone until your mum came to get it grin rather than make you re do the class- a fate worse than death for most teenagers.

NickNacks Mon 09-May-16 19:54:17

I think you was wrong actually. And I'm not surprised you were chucked out considering the nature of the course.

GreatFuckability Mon 09-May-16 19:54:27

are you 12? you were told to turn your phone off, so you should have turned your phone off. simple.

YoungGirlGrowingOld Mon 09-May-16 19:54:40

Hmm sorry OP I agree with the others. Very rude - they are doing you a favour by letting you do a course instead of getting points. (I have done the course myself and I know it doesn't feel like that!) best to just learn from it and switch phone off in future.

Moonlightceleste Mon 09-May-16 19:54:49

By your logic, there's absolutely nothing wrong with kids checking their phones constantly through lessons at school. It's the same principle. You aren't concentrating if you're on your phone and therefore you aren't really completing the course. Plus it screams "I am not taking this seriously." The rest of the backstory doesn't come into it.

EatShitDerek Mon 09-May-16 19:54:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curren Mon 09-May-16 19:55:16

You are completely unreasonable. You were on a speed awareness course and got caught on your phone twice. Even though you were clearly told not to.

You think you might have being writing a text, but can't remember. So would suggest you just can't remember being told.

They told you not to go on your phone, what did you think the consequence would be? Or did you assume they couldn't do anything if you completely ignored them?

I don't vent know what pumping breast milk has to do with this.

kellybee90 Mon 09-May-16 19:55:48

I'm a bit confused because you say that at the beginning of the course you were told to turn your phone off (and you seem to be aware of that because you were trying to hide the fact you were using your phone) but then go on to say you weren't told?

Sounds to me like you were not paying attention when you were physically in the room, so they have every right to say you had not completed the course sufficiently.

I'm not saying this to be mean; I understand that being away from your little one must have been distracting for you. But these courses exist for a reason and if you are not in a position to give it your full attention then you should not pass the course.

roarfeckingroar Mon 09-May-16 19:55:48

First time away from your baby. yanbu.

BillSykesDog Mon 09-May-16 19:55:51

YABU. They warned you once, so you knew you weren't supposed to be doing it. And you still did it. Given the nature of the course I think it's fair enough they take a have a pretty low tolerance for people fucking about and not paying attention.

Cheby Mon 09-May-16 19:56:14

Sounds like you had a bit of a jobsworth. At mine recently they were fine with the occasional glance st a phone, very easy going and pleasant TBH. I'd appeal on the grounds that you hadn't heard a warning about phone use and you were checking on your EBF newborn. May or may not work, who knows.

BTW I think writing a text is a lot worse than a quick check. So if you did that then probably YABU.

Madbengalmum Mon 09-May-16 19:56:20

Tough! Are you above the rules or something?

Osmiornica Mon 09-May-16 19:56:57

You were caught speeding because you weren't paying attention to the road - then again on the course you weren't paying attention to what was going on. I'm assuming they insist on this to make sure that everyone listens and understands what's being said - if everyone sat there playing about on their phones what's the point.

AIBVVVU Mon 09-May-16 19:57:13

YABU. If you had any manners you shouldn't have to be told not to text during class time. You are an adult and don't need a 'reminder' from other adults on how best to behave. Trying to get out of it by saying you weren't told not to is just childish.
And stop using your child as an excuse for your behaviour.

BombadierFritz Mon 09-May-16 19:57:15

You had options eg speak to them at the start of the course and explain, or even just turn your phone off. Its really clear that you have to make an effort - if you are disengaged you dont 'pass' and just get the points,,which was another of your options

Eminado Mon 09-May-16 19:57:18

Really sorry as may come across harsh but you seem to have a problem following rules. You make a lot of excuses - don't you think other people would have wanted to check their phones?

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