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Washing dishes

(12 Posts)
DUFFDADDY1 Mon 09-May-16 16:21:39

Peoples thoughts please.
I am about to on a caravan break with my DS, OH& my Mother (? Abbreviation ). We/have been doing this for some years. The problem started when my OH, washed all of the plates cutlery etc. My mother made a comment about it being a waste of time, and highlighted that the coffee cup given to my OH was unwashed. Then 💥 all hell breaks loose. Arguing shouting , bla bla. The point is that every time before going the tension is heavy, and this continues untill the first day is over. Any advice???angry

00100001 Mon 09-May-16 16:24:37

Use paper plates and plastic cutlery next time.

00100001 Mon 09-May-16 16:24:52

mother abbreviation is DM smile

MyNewBearTotoro Mon 09-May-16 16:37:05

Is the arguing always between your OH and DM? Is either of them particularly difficult or prone to frustrating the other?

Is there any pattern to the arguing? Is it a case of your DM wanting control of the housework and getting upset when anybody else tries to help? If there is any sort of pattern to her behaviour could you talk to your OH and ask him to avoid those situations? Or if the problem is him hating being criticised could you ask her to just stay out of it?

Essentially is there any way to speak to one or both of them about it? Explain that it makes the holiday feel tense and ask if they can try hard to bite their tongue if the other says/ does something to annoy them?

As they're both adults they should be able to employ anger management techniques (eg: counting to 10, leaving the room, not responding) to stop things from escalating into a huge argument.

The only other thing I can suggest is that you try and subtly mediate by trying to keep them apart (eg: if OH is washing up distract DM with an activity so she can't interfere) or saying things which might diffuse arguments but obviously that isn't exactly relaxing for you and could lead to you being caught in the crossfire.

Arfarfanarf Mon 09-May-16 16:37:13

My advice is leave your mother at home.

Some holiday with tension before it's even bloody started.

btw - why is washing dishes a waste of time? Whose time? Your partners?

How does it affect your mother if your partner washes dishes? How much of your mother's time is wasted because someone else cleans something? She's making a fuss where there is no need for one.

what would happen if nobody washed them? Your mother suggests using mucky dishes all week?

I'd solve the problem by not holidaying with my mother tbh. Your partner must be chuffed to be saddled with that year after year. Do you not ever think you know what,. holidays are supposed to be fun I really cannot be arsed with tension and drama over trivia?

DUFFDADDY1 Mon 09-May-16 16:58:00

Sorry I need to clarify . My OH cleans the/dishes in the caravan as soon as we arrive. They are cleaned by the cleaners of the site. OHdoes not think they will be as clean as she would wash them

Scholes34 Mon 09-May-16 17:09:20

Take your mum to the pub whilst your OH washes the dishes.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 09-May-16 17:10:53

Holidays are supposed to be fun. And a break. This sounds like neither.

FadedRed Mon 09-May-16 17:12:13

Leave your mother at home-she obviously likes winding your OH up.
I wash the dishes and clean the kitchen and bathroom in holiday property when I arrive, it takes a few minutes and makes me feel more secure in the hygiene of the place. It's maybe a bit OTT but. hey ho, it doesn't hurt anyone.
Holidays are supposed to be fun, not a sparring match.

BlahBlahBlahWhatever Mon 09-May-16 17:20:33

Why does all hell break loose? Why can't your oh just ignore? Your mum is obviously antagonising

Arfarfanarf Mon 09-May-16 17:26:45

Well so what? Your partner isnt asking your mum to wash them.

Sounds to me like your mum just likes to get a dig in.

It does not affect her if your partner washes some dishes.

Im amazed your partner wants to have to deal with this year in year out.

BarbaraofSeville Mon 09-May-16 18:04:30

Sounds to me like your partner is one of those bonkers people who spends all holiday doing unnecessary housework and then complains that 'it isn't a holiday for her'.

If the pots look clean, just use them, if not, call guest services and get them to send round some clean ones.

But a slanging match over the issue isn't necessary. If I was your DM, I'd just make myself a drink appropriate to the time and day and let her get on with whatever she wants to do.

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