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AIBU?

3 year old in passenger seat

38 replies

Keeponrunning33 · 09/05/2016 11:49

Hi all
Ex picked up my son this morning and put him in his car seat in the passenger seat of his car.
I was running late & didn't challenge. Can see online it's not illegal but much safer to travel in the rear seat.
Presumably airbags not active....
AIBU to be pissed off & worried he's unsafe?
Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

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Newtobecomingamum · 09/05/2016 11:53

My 3 year old son sometimes travels in his car seat on the front with his Dad on local journeys like to the shops etc. He finds it fun and pretends it's him driving. However, the majority of the time he is on his car seat in the back, which advice says is safer. If it's not an everyday thing, and like my hubby might be a bit of male bonding eg with the pretend driving etc then I would let it go. Choose your battles as they say.

pottymummy · 09/05/2016 11:56

It depends on your relationship with your ex really. I find my DH can often do things for his convenience rather than considering the safety of the kids. He's selfish in this way but I don't think he realises most of the time.

Are you able to approach him and explain that its much safer to put DS in the back? Or is he one of the types that would then continue to keep DS in the front just to spite you? Because as you said, its not illegal and you can't stop him doing is as long is DS is secured in his seat.

BaboonBottom · 09/05/2016 11:59

Mine have always occasionally travelled in the front on non motorway journeys, especially when i had my little car (little difference between front and back seat!). I put the seat back and left the air bag on (when front facing) to be honest, I'm closer to the airbag than they are.
In a 3 door car if i need to get them out i can do it quicker if they are in the front if somethings gone wrong, i can open crisp packets / pass drinks easier so in theory my driving would be safer than reaching round the back. We sing, we chat its nice.
My cars aren't ISOFIX though so theres little difference with front and back, i also think it depends what type of accident you have and that one you can't plan for.

NeedACleverNN · 09/05/2016 12:01

As long as the air bags were de-activated then I don't have a problem

Keeponrunning33 · 09/05/2016 12:24

Pottymummy ;

Are you able to approach him and explain that its much safer to put DS in the back? Or is he one of the types that would then continue to keep DS in the front just to spite you?

Great questions! He'd love it if I challenged him & wd probably keep on doing it because I don't agree!
I'm going to ask him about the airbags later on.

OP posts:

Excited101 · 09/05/2016 12:40

I think that airbags only need to be off for a rear facing seat... Best to read up about that. The seat should also be put backwards away from the windscreen as much as possible.

I wouldn't though, advice is that in the back is safer.

Frazzled2207 · 09/05/2016 13:01

It's generally fine if airbags deactivated. I put my littlest in the front sometimes, if he's upset he's rather be able to see me more easily.
I think it's fine to gently suggest though that you'd prefer him to be in the back.

Frazzled2207 · 09/05/2016 13:02

Ah yes do check the airbag situation for forward facings.
My son is in a rear facing infant carrier.

Janecc · 09/05/2016 13:19

The airbags must always be off when seating children in the front regardless of rear or front facing seat. Children have soft bones and a front airbag could bash a child's face in or worse, snap their necks - especially if they are in a child car seat, which pushes them forward. DD went in the front of one of our cars for a while because her seat didn't go in the back and we disabled the airbag and pushed the seat as far back as possible. We changed cars now. She's always in the back despite being +135cm. Airbags apparently are designed for adults and there is a suffocation risk as well for those shorter than around 150cm. Lots of parents put their children in the front with airbags on blissfully unaware of the danger. Rear seats are far safer than the front anyway.

BurnTheBlackSuit · 09/05/2016 13:28

You can't switch of the front airbags in my car. It advises in the car instruction manual that children who weigh less than 35kg (I think) should not travel in the front, even with the seat pushed all the way back.

And also, I thought that airbags, even if switched off, weren't guaranteed not to activate anyway?

Keeponrunning33 · 09/05/2016 17:27

Thanks everyone
Glad I held it down this morning when ex was putting him in the car. Going to speak to him later re airbags.

OP posts:

Amy214 · 09/05/2016 17:43

I wouldnt put dd in the front even if the airbag was turned off (i do worry a lot and have a really bad imagination) my mind is at ease when shes in the back although i do check her car seat to make sure its still secure every now and then. How do you know that the airbags actually turned off? What if it comes flying out when they are sitting there? I dont think its worth risking my childs life.

Zazz101 · 09/05/2016 18:13

Why do people think it's safer if they are just doing local trips, and not on the motorway. It may be an idea to check statistics, most accidents actually happen close to home don't they ???

dementedpixie · 09/05/2016 18:20

The airbag doesn't need to be deactivated for a forward facing seat but the seat should be moved as far back from the dashboard as possible.

Amy214 · 09/05/2016 21:46

Zazz101 isnt the motorway the safest type of road to be on?

edwinbear · 09/05/2016 21:49

Mine have to travel in the front seat of my car as its a 2 seater. But they have an overpriced car seat which automatically switches the front air bag off.

LyndaNotLinda · 09/05/2016 21:56

You are more likely to have an accident where the airbag is triggered on a motorway though.

Thatrabbittrickedme · 09/05/2016 22:06

My DC have never been in the front - eldest is 8! I would not let anyone drive off with them in the front, I think you should be able to say something to your DH, doesn't have to be confrontational, I assume he has a back seat so just let him know that it's the safer option. (Maybe I'm naive, surely he wants the best for the DC?). Print out safety advice if he doesn't want to hear it from you...

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 09/05/2016 22:13

My eldest is 8 and has to travel in the front on medical advice (he has epilepsy, so unusual situation). I was categorically told by the garage and the police to leave the airbag on - I asked especially.

SouperSal · 09/05/2016 22:26

Had DD in the passenger seat in her car seat since she was potty training (so around 3.25). Have crossed the length and breadth of the country many time over in the 2 intervening years and had no problems. (I deactivate the airbag though.)

Notthebumtroll · 09/05/2016 23:51

Stupid comment Souper you could have said the same comment but instead of 'in the passenger seat' you could have said 'with no car seat' or 'without using a seatbelt' and had the same result.

Car accidents happen to a ridiculous amount of people every day, it could be me, it could be you. Sometimes there's absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent it. Why wouldn't you give your child their best shot? I just don't get it.

SouperSal · 10/05/2016 00:00

I've assessed the risks, thanks. They're balanced against being able to tend to her without having to pull into every motorway services meaning we actually get to our destination that day. And with respect you have no idea what or when I drive or what the risks are.

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peggyundercrackers · 10/05/2016 00:24

I don't think you can do anything about your ex doing this, presumably it's his child as well and given its not illegal he can do what he wants.

herecomethepotatoes · 10/05/2016 05:05

What 'risks' have you assessed souper? How about 'unforseen circumstances'? I was driving and our car ended up upside down when I hit a brick on the motorway and the front wheel came off. Our son was 2 then. I got a black eye and he was unharmed. He was sitting in the back. He may have been unharmed sitting in the front but it's more dangerous. The balance you have struck is convenience over safety.

Our children always go in the back. I'd mention it to your ex but, like someone else said. he isn't doing anything illegal so there isn't anything you can do except avoid patronising him. They're his child too.

peggyundercrackers · 10/05/2016 07:31

What 'risks' have you assessed souper?

Since when do people have to justify ones for doing what they do to strangers on the Internet... If Souper is happy with what she does that's all that matters. you have no idea what balance she has struck and have no right to berate her over her choices.

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