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To ask you to remind me that it does get easier...

(6 Posts)
TheseLittleOwls Mon 09-May-16 06:54:07

I'm struggling since the birth of DC2 five months ago. I know this isn't technically a proper AIBU (maybe I will post a parking thread to make up for it) but the postnatal forum isn't very busy and I just need a vent and some reassurance.

I have an amazingly supportive DH and lots of friends (not much close family), a lovely home, no financial worries, two beautiful DCs and yet I can feel myself slipping rapidly into PND. In fact I'm already there.

My anxiety is through the roof. DC2 is not the easiest of babies; cries a lot (has been checked by GP and all seems fine) and this just sets my anxiety off like nothing else. I'm always on edge and it's wearing me down so much.

I had these feelings with DC1 who is now a wonderful, easy four year old. My PND was diagnosed at six months with DC1 but my GP was useless. It was never treated properly. I have booked a GP appointment for next week and I'm shitting myself about it. No idea what to say without turning into a blubbering mess.

I feel like an utter failure for not enjoying these early days. I know these baby days aren't forever and it will pass, but I can't get myself to believe that at the moment. Every morning I wake up with the heaviest of hearts and that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm constantly fighting back the tears. Then I feel guilty because there are so, so many women who would give anything to be in my position and have two healthy children in a loving home.

AIBU to ask for a reality check and a reminder that this will pass, and one day in the future I will feel like my normal, happy self again? At the moment getting through each day without tears and near-crippling anxiety is a major achievement so I'm having trouble seeing the woods for the trees.

Thanks for reading and I applaud you if you got this far.

curren Mon 09-May-16 06:59:57

Well yes. It will pass.

But please remember that PND doesn't care how great your husband or friends are. Or if you have no money worries. This isn't your fault. It's not something you can control, it's not something you shouldn't have because you have a good life. PND is shit and it's not your fault. It's nothing you did or, even, didn't do.

I had PND and it's easier to be rational about it after. I have 2 kids. 12 and 5. And yes life seems a whole lot easier.

I hope the doctors listens and is more helpful this time. Can you see a different GP? Some are great and some are terrible.

There is no quick fix, unfortunately, so feel unable to give advice. Have you told your dh how you are feeling?

flowers for you.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 09-May-16 07:02:44

You poor thing. There's lots of the early days that isn't lovely but is hard. If you add PND and the demands of an older child on top, it's no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed. Are you seeing the midwife/HV? Is it worth talking to them? Hope all goes well with the GP. It might be worth getting an idea of what you want from them. Eg are you willing to take anti depressants if offered?

Pinkheart5915 Mon 09-May-16 07:02:49

Sorry to hear your having a tough time flowers
Congratulations on dc2 btw
It's good you say you have a supportive dh have you told him how your feeling?

You have no control over if you get/ have Pnd or not and I hope the gp will help you more this time round.

Now your going to seek help for Pnd your be your self once again soon.

TheseLittleOwls Mon 09-May-16 07:05:16

Thank you, curren.

I will see a different GP and I've been very honest with DH about how I feel (despite wanting to ignore it and hope it goes away, which it clearly won't).

And you are right about PND not caring.

TheseLittleOwls Mon 09-May-16 07:08:06

testing Yes I would take medication, although am breastfeeding so not sure what I can take.

Thank you for all the replies already flowers

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