Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

son who is 9's diary entry. advice pls

119 replies

StephoooH · 08/05/2016 23:29

Hi. Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I was googling and came across a post on here about bullying and seemed to be in the right spot but then I saw what the site was about and thought it would actually be good to ask about the actual situation.

My son is 9 sorry about the writing far too lazy to type all out!

I found this on his draw next to his bed which is where all his current stuff he uses is and he has denied all knowledge! But his face was like an absolute tomato. I have promised that I'm always here for him etc etc but he still denies. It's sad to se my little man wrote that :( I can't just leave it, surely?? Help

son who is 9's diary entry. advice pls

OP posts:

Report

Champagneformyrealfriends · 08/05/2016 23:32

Speak to his teacher. Poor little thing-I was bullied in primary school and it was awful. for you op.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/05/2016 23:36

He wrote it. He wanted you to know and now you do. It was a note asking for your help, now what you have to do is help him. He is being bullied, bring the note to the school tomorrow, show it to his teacher and work towards solving this problem.

Good luck OP.

wallybantersjunkbox · 08/05/2016 23:36

I agree. I'd be straight into school tomorrow after cuddling him on his bed all night

Poor little thing

Agadooo · 08/05/2016 23:37

His letter made me so sad n have a tear in my eye. I have a DS also 9. He said he wishes mummy knew and now you do-no need for him to say it was him or deny it, you know it was. A big hug tomorrow when it's quiet n just the 2 of you-tell him you love him and that you can try and fix anything that makes him sad 😢

StephoooH · 08/05/2016 23:40

I want to go and cuddle him now!

I hope he wants me to go in, I'd have thought he would have just admitted it? Oh well, my poor baby

OP posts:

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/05/2016 23:44

Oh Steph. Your poor poor boy. I detest bullies. Thank Goodness you found his entry. He subconsciously must have wanted you to find it or he would have hidden it away.
Arrange a meeting with the school tomorrow, and take his diary entry in as well.
for you and a for your little man.
BTW ginger hair is gorgeous, and don't let him have anyone tell him any different.

smokeybandit · 08/05/2016 23:49

Aww bless him. Definitely take it to school. I once found a piece of work in my son's school tray at parents evening, something they were asked to write about themselves, his hadn't been read out apparently - stating that everyone kept saying he was good but he knew he wasn't and was worthless! I know ita a bit sifferent as someone else had made your ds feel this way but my ds didn't want to talk about it either. In the end I decided to sit him down and just talk to him like he'd owned up to it, told him how much he was loved and that he didn't deserve to feel that way. He needs to be reassured that he has done anything wrong and that nobody is allowed to make him feel like that and get away with it. It's NOT ok and that you support him and love him. Be firm with whoever you speak to at school though, that it gets dealt with appropriately, don't be fobbed off, it may not be physical but that doesn't mean it's ok.

BeckyWithTheMediocreHair · 08/05/2016 23:54

He wanted you to find it and he wants you to know. He is denying because he knows that you will intervene and he is frightened of the consequences from the bully if you do.

Masses of love, cuddles and reassurance right now. Address with teacher tomorrow. Good luck

sizeofalentil · 08/05/2016 23:57

Poor lad. That bully is also speaking rubbish: Loads of people love ginger people - they even have a ginger festival: www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ginger-pride-festival-to-take-place-next-summer-as-organisers-say-time-of-bullying-gingers-is-over-10349524.html

There has been loads of amazing photo projects on people with red hair too - maybe you could show him some?

sizeofalentil · 08/05/2016 23:58

I wish I had naturally ginger hair.

StephoooH · 08/05/2016 23:59

Thank you, yes I hope deep down he did want me to find it. I will do my best to catch his teacher in the morning. not sure how but i will try!

iliveinalighthousewithaghost

Thank you so much and I adore his hair it's gorgeous. As lovely as his face is, I don't want it plastered all over a site with this post attached to it but here is his hair! It's so thick and gorgeous l guess kids don't see that tho so they?

son who is 9's diary entry. advice pls

OP posts:

Donethat16 · 09/05/2016 00:03

Please help him. This has made me so sad.

Beeziekn33ze · 09/05/2016 00:07

Persecuting red haired fellow pupils is, to me, like racism. It's ridiculous and cruel.
I hope the school sorts out this bullying. So sad for your poor son.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/05/2016 00:09

You're right breez, it is akin to racism. I've always thought that.

Alisvolatpropiis · 09/05/2016 00:10

Oh that's sad. I'd definitely speak to his teacher.

Ginger (or red head if you prefer) people are beautiful.

I spent my entire pregnancy expecting a little ginger baby, when she was born dark haired I was a teensy bit disappointed (not with her, just the hair colour).

madamginger · 09/05/2016 00:12

I'm a fellow ginger and this makes me so and
I love being ginger and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Definitely speak to school but also give him a big hug from me.

horseygeorgie · 09/05/2016 00:17

I'm a ginger and I feel for him, poor little lad. I love it but I remember how hard it can be. I was bullied horribly at school and it was awful. Hugs to your boy.

DioneTheDiabolist · 09/05/2016 00:18

OP, it is really important you tell the school about this tomorrow. If you don't catch his teacher, go straight to the office and ask to speak to someone. Your DS found it difficult to broach this with you in person, but now you know. Please don't let him down by not dealing with it.

Italiangreyhound · 09/05/2016 00:23

Please speak to school. Please include your son in the discussions so he feels empowered.

He has done nothing wrong and was right to tell you. He has told you in an innovative and clever way, he is a bright child. he is probably feeling low at the moment so make sure the rest of life is nice, good tea or treat out if you can afford it.

Maybe give the chance to chat in private with you while doing something else, cleaning his bike or whatever, rather than sitting him down and saying right we need to do XYZ....

You could either treat it as any other kind of bullying, which should not be tolerated (get a copy of the school anti-bullying policy, if they have one, which should be on their website. get copies of the government policy...

[[https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/preventing-and-tackling-bullying]

Take a look, go into scool, report it etc.

Or you could go down complaining about the specific nature of this bullying. I am not sure what would be better.

I have no idea why persecution of ginger-haired or red-haired people is not considered racially motivated. It must be taken just as seriously as it were.

If the school will not take it seriously you can read up and make sure they do! Whatever the reason for bullying, it is wrong.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6725653.stm

riehlworldview.com/2013/04/congrats-redheads-youre-officially-a-protected-minority-and-a-victim-and-the-eeoc-and-nypd-agree.html

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/9788039/Bullied-and-worse-for-being-ginger.html

Good luck, please tell us how it works out and give the wee lad a hug from Mumsnett!

DontDeadOpenInside · 09/05/2016 00:23

That is absolutely heartbreaking.

Out2pasture · 09/05/2016 00:25

Ginger is special in a beautiful kind of way

ohtheholidays · 09/05/2016 00:28

He did want you to know OP and he does want you to stop it all for him.

The reason he denied it,do you remember what it was like when you were little,when were so young we live in the moment only,we don't realize at such a young age that life will move on and we won't be stuck in a sad place forever.That's why he denied it bless him,for him he'll be thinking this is it,he's not at that age yet where we learn that things do move on,things do get better and what might be making us feel really sad one day won't leave us feeling sad forever.

I'd speak to the school first thing in the morning and tell them about what both of the boys had done to your DS so that they know and they can sort it out and stop it from happening again.Speak to your son and reassure him as well,tell him that he's not in any trouble and that you knowing what's been happening won't make anything at school worse it will only make it better

With his gorgeous ginger hair talk to him about some of the amazing people there are that he shares his hair colour with,Ron Weasley,Ed Sheeran,Athletes,Actors,Artists,Scientists ect there are alot of very important people that have ginger hair so he's amongst a very select group.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/05/2016 00:29

Your poor little lad.

My 8 year old DD sent me a letter when another girl was being mean to her at school. She was a bit worried about me going in but I took the letter and showed the teacher what she had said. DD was happy afterwards, and I'm sure you DS will be too.

BreakfastLunchPasta · 09/05/2016 00:32

Ah the poor wee lad :(
Definitely speak to the school first thing, this needs to be dealt with and nipped in the bud immediately.

I absolutely adore red hair, and tbh was a bit sad when my dd1's strawberry blonde curls turned into light brown.

I suggest you do some red head positive pr to help undo any damage. You could read him nice things people have said about red hair, and do some research with him into all the cool famous redheads, maybe?

SATSmum · 09/05/2016 00:37

Hi Steph,
my son is ginger, and he was teased a lot about it in primary. It really damaged his self confidence and he hates being ginger.
Once he went to secondary it improved a lot, partly I think because the intake of the school was from a different area, and there was less/no ginger bashing, and partly because there were other ginger kids, so for the first time he wasn't alone.

I wish I had realised just how much the ginger teasing was affecting him. I would have gone into school and asked them to act. Unfortunately ginger teasing is not seen as serious compared with racism, but the effect on the child is similar.

Ask to speak to the teacher away from other kids so you are not overheard, I would show her the writing and ask for help, see what she says.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.