To feel annoyed by parenting police intervention?

[Maybemable]

It hasn't been a great day - taking up carpet in main bedroom, assembling new bed, heat etc. Plus DD has Sats tomorrow. Anyway DD keen to go shopping to nearby shops and spend pocket money. I say fine as long as she helps tidy up carpet remnants in front garden first. DD has MAJOR meltdown as she wants to shop first, tidy second. I stand firm and insist she tidies first and am being calm and in control overseeing her from the first floor bedroom. Front door closed to prevent kitten going into road. Anyway, a nicely spoken 30 something woman stops by our gate to enquire "can she help" but not in a helpful way, in a judgy way. I say, calmly thanks no, daughter having a moment we are fine. She doesn't budge, and says my daughter seems in distress and claims she has been crying for some time. I say thanks we are fine and continue to try and reason with daughter. This woman still doesn't leave and so I say still calmly a third time, really we are fine thanks. And she finally moved off. But now I am fuming. Unless she is supernanny how dare she butt in?!

[Maybemable]

DD is 11.

[Mishaps]

I doubt whether she has ever had an 11 year old girl.

[caitlinohara]

YABU if your daughter was crying in the front garden and you were upstairs!

[TheSuspiciousMsWhicher]

Well, she was obviously concerned as your DD had been howling by the street for some time, with the front door closed and no parent in evidence. Taken at face value, it wouldn't appear as if you had the situation under control TBH. YABU.

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

She was clearly concerned! It's good that people take an interest

[witsender]

Hmmmm, well...whose carpet remnants were they? It doesn't sound like the most effective tactic if you're having to watch her crying while you're upstairs.

[Thymeout]

Op was in evidence. She was supervising from the upstairs window.

[witsender]

Why was she supervising from upstairs? She said she wanted the girl to help, but she wasn't doing it herself? And unless she was hanging out of the window she probably wasn't that much 'in evidence' at first glance.

[Mysteryfla]

Does DD have special needs?

[TheSuspiciousMsWhicher]

But she wasn't 'in evidence' if the woman who stopped couldn't see her Thymeout.

[fastdaytears]

I can see how that could have looked a bit odd with the door shut and you not immediately visible. Presumably the crying was quite extreme and this lady might not have known what drama is normal for an 11 year old girl.
YABU to think that everyone should ignore distressed children.

[Pipbin]

I think this woman was concerned for you DD crying in the front garden seemingly on her own.

[fastdaytears]

Oh and I hope your daughter is over it and calmly sleeping ahead of tomorrow. for her.

[BillSykesDog]

Yeah. I can see how it would have looked odd enough for her to come over. It may well have looked like you'd locked her out and weren't letting her back in.

[Maybemable]

I was visible because I was at the window talking to my daughter who was having a tantrum. She is quite highly strung and if we weren't under a deadline - carpet people coming first thing - would not have insisted as I did. I was hoovering and cleaning bedroom. Her brother (9) had earlier quite happily tidied some of the remnants so it wasn't a huge ask. Did cause a bit of a street scene which -under less stress - I would have ideally avoided.

[Maybemable]

I also wish I had realised carpet people date coincided with start of Sats...

[Floggingmolly]

Was she actually standing in the front garden roaring her head off? An 11 year old... It must have looked bloody odd.

[EweAreHere]

An 11 year old is quite capable of being left alone outside the house to pick things up/weed/mow the lawn/etc If she was stropping, she was stropping.

The woman should have continued on after feeling the need to ask once, imo.

[fastdaytears]

No issue with an 11 year old being outside, I don't think that would have looked odd without the hysterics.

[PacificDogwod]

I'd rather people were inappropriately concerned, than that they were inappropriately not-concerned.

You sound a bit defensive tbh.

[var123]

I think it was nice of her to make sure your DD was ok. An 11 YO crying openly outside the house isn't something you see every day. It would make me concerned too (and I have a 12 year old). Sorry, but YABU

[BeckyWithTheMediocreHair]

YANBU to be irritated.

But she was not unreasonable to stop and check that everything was OK - in fact, it was the right thing for her to do.

[Maybemable]

I think EweAreHere is spot on - a friendly "is everything ok" would have been fine but it was the hanging round after I'd said "thanks we're fine" which annoyed me - plus it wasn't helping. I dont think she was a parent because she would have recognised the tantrum for what it was and /or intervened in a warmer/more skilful way. I live in quite a rough part of SE London - where things kick off left, right and centre!