Advanced search

To think that leisure activities are an opt out of real life?

(59 Posts)
ArriettyMatilda Sun 08-May-16 21:34:00

For example I spend a lot of time reading and part of that is escapism. I read even when I know I could be tidying up or cleaning (not sure I count that as real life either though). I play with dd a few times a day but wonder if we should be cooking/baking and she should be helping me with keeping the house clean (but of course play is a child's work too). I suppose I just feel like I am just passing time.

I don't have any particular hobbies. I have a few lego sets, but really feel like I should be saving my money for real bricks and mortar. I kind of get sports as at least you are usually spending time with people and it's exercise but I don't make time for this in my life. I also understand knitting/crafting as you are creating something but I'd get too frustrated with that kind of thing. It doesn't help that my partner and I mainly enjoy eating together and don't have any shared hobbies. We only spend an hour or so together each evening and don't seem to do anything in that time. Sundays are the only day we have as a family so we do spend time going for walks, visiting family and watching films usually.

Aibu to think that an adult at play is opting out of real life? Things like colouring books, watching TV, reading fiction, playing video games etc. I am not saying we should not do these things but to me it feels that I am disengaging with real life and I should be spending more time pursuing more fruitful interests.

lljkk Sun 08-May-16 21:38:35

Wow, you read like a right Puritan.

Human beings have a high play drive. It's a huge part of what makes us clever. We enjoy learning & we try to find ways to make learning fun. We crave fun, it's part of what makes us human.

EffieIsATrinket Sun 08-May-16 21:49:47

Plenty jobs have little to do with real life too. Just because you are paid for your time doesn't necessarily mean it is being spent in a more vital way. If you pared life right back to the basics we'd probably all be living on small holdings pioneer style.

buntymo Sun 08-May-16 21:56:28

An instinct to play is linked to creativity give a child a muddy puddle and a stick and they are in their element. I personally do fill my time with tv or computer games but really enjoy gardening which is a mix of work fulfilment and pleasure. My children's leisure activities provide them with an outlet for their curiosity and give them a sense of achievement I guess. But I get the point of going to the cinema or shopping to pass time but there are lots of fun things to do because they are just fun

buntymo Sun 08-May-16 21:57:22


Stillunexpected Sun 08-May-16 22:04:41

I should be spending more time pursuing more fruitful interests - like what? What "leisure activities" would meet your exacting standards? You don't rate TV, reading, video games, taking part in sports, craft work. So what IS worthwhile? Presumably cinema and theatre are just escapism too. Does listening to/playing music count?

poocatcherchampion Sun 08-May-16 22:08:17

I think it is all about play really. I don't want to be a slave to my household like a hamster in a wheel - I just crack on and get the jobs done so we can relax and do nice things.

Stuff is just stuff isn't it.

Jubaloo442 Sun 08-May-16 22:09:32

But doing those 'pointless' things is often when you get the time to process your thoughts, unwind, have creative ideas that you're normally too knackered for..... I'd love to have more time to spend knitting, sewing, gardening etc....but not for the outcome, just for the hell of it.

BillBrysonsBeard Sun 08-May-16 22:17:26

If you really think about it.. Most things are passing time and making life more interesting. You say sports are better.. Loads of men kicking a ball? What's the point? Why is it such a huge thing in people's lives? Because it's another entertaining thing that makes life fun and gives purpose. Everything we do that is entertaining for ourselves and doesn't harm anyone is great. I love reading and binge watching series, is that wasted time? No because I love it and learn so much. It's relaxing escapism and that helps deal with the drudgery of daily life. Do you makes you happy OP!

BillBrysonsBeard Sun 08-May-16 22:18:47

what* not "you"

P1nkP0ppy Sun 08-May-16 22:21:23

You play with your dd a few times a day but spend a lot of the time reading when you should be tidying up or cleaning ?

Sounds rather like you're trying to escape reality op, life is mundane routine much of the time and 'pointless' activities give your brain /body something purposeful to focus on ime.

Ludwaysl Sun 08-May-16 22:22:26

I completely disagree, housework etc is boring as hell. I'd much rather be pursuing something leisurely. Reading, sports etc. are much more worthwhile.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach Sun 08-May-16 22:23:27

Doing something that serves no real purpose except recreation and fun sometimes used to be hard for me, but it is a vital thing for good mental health and I know that when I do it, it feels good.

It's called 'flow', when you lose yourself in something and don't realise where the time has gone, and it's an incredibly important part of being happy according to the psych community.

I saw a thing on tv recently about polar bears that found chained up sleigh dogs while on search for food, and could have easily eaten them but instead ended up playing with them and then revisited for more play each year. Just goes to show that play can be as important as typical survival drivers.

Ludwaysl Sun 08-May-16 22:25:10

Hang on, I've re-read that, I agree TV is opting out in a way. I like TV but I always say I'd rather be out living life than watching someone else's. However, everyone needs to relax and TV helps that.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 08-May-16 22:25:45

Another one who does her hobbies for mindfulness frankly I'd go bonkers if I didn't go to choir once a week and get my daily crochet fix.
I am studying for a post graduate qualification a lot of my best thoughts for assignments occur after crocheting.

OooLookShoes Sun 08-May-16 22:25:58

I'm sure on your deathbed you will look back on the richness and beauty of the world you are about to leave, the skills you have mastered and just think 'shit I WISH I'd spent more time cleaning'

ghostyslovesheep Sun 08-May-16 22:27:52

here was me thinking that when I ran or rode I WAS in real life - didn't realise I was entering some fantasy parallel universe - so from now on I am running a 3 min mile and riding a unicorn

CaptainCrunch Sun 08-May-16 22:29:54

Where does posting bollix on forums fit in with your world view?

You could break everything thing down with your weird negative attitude..."what's the point of going out, we'll just end up back here anyway" etc.

Sheesh, the long winter nights must fly by in your house.confused

JellyMouldJnr Sun 08-May-16 22:31:26

so what is 'real life' in your book OP? Is it earning money? family/relationships? I'm not sure from your post.

SolidGoldBrass Sun 08-May-16 22:34:04

'Leisure' activites are real life. Reading, writing, painting, dancing, racing, etc are far more interesting and enjoyable than pushing papers around or phoning people up to ask them their opinions on toothpaste, or scrubbing floors. A very high percentage of waged jobs are utterly fucking pointless and only exist because of this odd idea that people must spend time doing boring shit that they hate, even though there are not enough necessary tasks to fill every able-bodied adult's time and more than enough resources in the world to sustain everyone.

Queenie73 Sun 08-May-16 22:34:50

<head tilt> hmm, I'd never thought of it like that.

That's my catch-all response to ranters, so I've recycled it.

AuntDotsie Sun 08-May-16 22:36:03

Define 'real life'.

I mean, there are passive leisure activities, like TV and eating food someone else has cooked. There are active leisure activities, like sports, crafts, art etc. They all have their place in your average human's life. I myself go through active and passive phases. I enjoy both crafts and video games. Today I upcycled a charity shop vase using polymer clay. Last week I spent all my spare time playing Stardew Valley.

Some people gain huge enjoyment out of leisure activities, some turn it into a way of financing 'real life', some find meaning in it, some solace, some therapy. It doesn't mean they're somehow not engaging with the real world as well. And what does that even mean anyway? Is 'real life' somehow devoid of pleasure and imagination?

YouTheCat Sun 08-May-16 22:37:45

Real life is overrated.

I'll stick to my games and books and musings on lottery winnings if my numbers ever come up .

Gide Sun 08-May-16 22:38:11

Reading fiction, watching trash TV and being on forums are all forms of escapism. Taking out the dogs, mucking out the horse, playing a bloody hard game of badminton and swimming 50 lengths are worthwhile. Get a new hobby, OP!

hazelangell Sun 08-May-16 22:39:47

Play time, at least for me, is essential so I can destress from everything else. I consider my play time a public service as it means I am less likely to lose my shit with stupid people.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now