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...to not have immediately congratulated best friend on engagement?

(34 Posts)
GreenBaizePacker Sat 07-May-16 19:18:17

Best friend was in Paris with relatively new boyfriend - 6 months. Got a text from her saying "[BF] proposed under the Eiffel Tower". No exclamation mark or smiley face or anything. I replied "Was it a yes?" because I had no idea they were even at that stage and wanted to be supportive in case it was a no, but equally prepared to be happy and congratulatory if it was a yes. She replied that of course it was a yes and then had a big rant that there's no such thing as too quick when you're in love. She's back now and she is FURIOUS with me that I questioned her. Obviously I was very apologetic and congratulated her when I found out. New boyfriend, well, fiancé now, is lovely btw so I don't have anything against him.

Coldtoeswarmheart Sat 07-May-16 19:19:27

YANBU. Her text was ambiguous.

LillyBugg Sat 07-May-16 19:19:33

She sounds a bit insecure. You didn't even mention that you thought it might be too soon and she said it first. I think your reply was fair enough.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready Sat 07-May-16 19:19:54

You've done nothing wrong. She sounds defensive.

FutureGadgetsLab Sat 07-May-16 19:20:25

I think her reaction was over the top but unless you had reason to believe she'd say no, it was a daft thing to ask.

Lemonade1 Sat 07-May-16 19:21:02

Why not act like the adults you are. Pick up the phone, laugh and say 'oops crossed wires, I'm delighted I wasn't criticising, I genuinely wasn't sure you'd said yes but hoped you had!' Have a nice conversation. Get on with your lives.

HaveNoTimeToThinkOfName Sat 07-May-16 19:30:45

As Lemonade1said

Kelsoooo Sat 07-May-16 19:33:02

I'd have responded the same way as you .

But then, unless I know a couple were actively TTC when I'm told she's pregnant I usually respond with "and how do you feel? Is this happy news?"

Because a few times I've been told and the girl in question wanted support for a termination. So I assume nothing unless definitively told about these things

BirthdayBetty Sat 07-May-16 19:34:51

Sounds like a bridezilla in the making grin

FruStefanOla Sat 07-May-16 19:51:48

I think, had I been in your shoes, I would have replied with a simple 'congratulations'. I say this from bitter experience, so I understand your initial caution.

I, similarly, cocked-up with a friend many years ago. Her DP was an absolute twunt (although she hadn't realised at the time). She sent me a text one afternoon saying "go and buy a hat" (that was all it said). I was at work, mega busy and had no idea what she was going on about - so quickly replied "what for?"

Her reply - "TwuntFace has just proposed to me - we're now engaged". At least I had a couple of hours to compose myself before I met her for a drink that evening.

Damselindestress Sat 07-May-16 19:57:30

YANBU. It can be hard to tell tone by text. You didn't say anything about it being too soon, sounds like she has her own doubts and is projecting them on to you. Just tell her it was a misunderstanding and you are happy for her. If that's not enough for her, I would give her a bit of time and space to calm down rather than being dragged into her drama.

specialsubject Sat 07-May-16 19:59:36

wow, a whole new meaning to oversensitive there. Seems a perfectly reasonable thing to ask.

She clearly doesn't place much value on the friendship if she threw a diva-strop like that at you.

I'd steer clear of the wedding if it gets that far.

Becky546 Sat 07-May-16 20:02:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 07-May-16 20:11:14

Sounds as if she feels like it's too soon to me. YANBU.

x2boys Sat 07-May-16 22:02:46

Don't worry about it dh proposed after 2 months we got married after 6 months lots of people dissaproved thought it was too soon etc and I can understand why however 11 years and two children later we have proved them all wrong but I agree it was very suddengrin

RiverTam Sat 07-May-16 22:10:09

She sounds as though she thinks it's too soon herself and is getting defensive. Can you ask her if anything's up?

x2boys Sat 07-May-16 22:12:48

She might just be defensive though because it's quite quick and she feels people are judging her though which obviously people do but quick engagements and marriages can work our as mine has?

ollieplimsoles Sat 07-May-16 22:41:04

Me and dh got engaged after 6 months together, but we kept it to ourselves as we knew his mother people would say its too soon.

Been together 8 years so it can work!

But I agree her text was ambiguous and you should both just laugh it off!

lottielou7 Sat 07-May-16 22:43:10

Why on earth would she be angry? I agree her text was unclear. What a diva she is!

VoldysGoneMouldy Sat 07-May-16 22:55:11

OP please promise not to namechange, because I think you'll have some amazing posts to share once she starts planning her wedding.

MidniteScribbler Sun 08-May-16 09:50:58

Under the Eiffel Tower? Cheapskate. He could at least have bought a ticket to the top.

ChicRock Sun 08-May-16 09:54:16

This won't be the last thread you post about your best friend and her engagement/wedding. grin Do you think she'll ask you to be bridesmaid? This has real potential for some great threads over the summer!

JenniferYellowShat Sun 08-May-16 11:09:16

She is far too defensive for someone who just happily got engaged.....

MissBattleaxe Sun 08-May-16 11:15:52

But her text only said that he'd proposed. It didn't say she'd agreed. Why the hell is she angry about your normal response to such a bland statement?

Libitina Sun 08-May-16 11:21:41

DH and I got engaged after 6 weeks, married after 18 months and have been married almost 24 years now. So it can work.

Just go see her with a bottle of wine or some flowers and say congratulations in person.

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