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to be mightily pissed off

(276 Posts)
MooningIntoTheAbyss Sat 07-May-16 08:43:50

I supplement my income by doing a variety of thugs but one is alterations/seamstress work.

I tend to hold a policy that I don't do work for friends/family as it creates issues (if it's not as expected or there's a problem or money type issues)

Anyway, a friend has lost weight and needed a dress altering for a wedding. She took it to a place locally but they didn't do a great job. She begged me to alter it.
This involved some 10+ hours work.
During all the begging I clearly stated multiple times that I didn't want to die to my reasons above and that I can't afford to work for free or even much discount. I usually charge £10 an hour.
She kept saying 'I'll pay you I'll pay you' 'Money isn't the issue here I really want this dress' etc etc.

You can see where this is going right?
I caved. I did the alteration. It took me ages. Not because I'm not good at it, because it involved so much unpicking and undoing of the poor work done already.

She picked it up, fits like a dream. She handed me £20. My jaw dropped a bit and she said 'what's wrong? Oh! Your not going to exploit me are you?'
I said 'it seems like your exploiting me!'

I told her how long it took and how much work and I said I would want at least £50, which is a 50% discount and she knew this from the start.
She refused.
I have her dress.
She is now sending me quite nasty messages about how I've ruined her weekend and I'm only doing this cos I'm jealous of her weight loss and stuff like that.

I'm really fucked off.
I didn't tell her a price at the start as I didn't know how long it would take.
She says I'm being U to expect her to spend this much money on one dress (original cost plus 2 alterations) and also that as were 'friend she should get mates rates.

AIBU to have kept the dress til she pays me?

AlwaysDancing1234 Sat 07-May-16 08:48:08

I think she's being cheeky and you were clear with her. Maybe she didn't realise it would take you 10 hours but just offering £20 does seem ridiculous, especially as she stated money was no object.

JonSnowsBeardClippings Sat 07-May-16 08:48:34

Does she know £10 is your hourly rate? Did you warn her when you looked at it that it would be a lot of hours work?
If she thought it would take you 2 hours then I can see why she's shocked that you asked for £50. If you didn't give her a heads up that it was a big job I can also see her PoV. She should pay you but you should have been warned her! She's being a cow about it though

NannawifeofBaldr Sat 07-May-16 08:52:43

Give back the dress - lose the friend.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Sat 07-May-16 08:52:53

I think she's being a twat about it, but I can understand that maybe she didn't expect it to cost that much.

RNBrie Sat 07-May-16 08:54:01

YANBU. People just have a zero concept of how long this sort of thing takes. I sew for pleasure and the number of times someone will say "oh could you just hem these trousers/fix this seam/sew a lining in these curtains" thinking it's a 10 min job.

You probably should have been more transparent about the cost once you'd started the work, texting her an estimate of the time and cost once you'd had a look at the dress. "do you want me to continue, it's going to be about 9-10 hours of work?"

That said, you shouldn't lose out having told her your cost per hour. I'd message her saying you'd really like to resolve the situation, you spent 10 hours working on her dress at an agreed cost of £10 an hour. You're willing to give her a 50% discount which you wouldn't normally do. She has a week to decide or you'll sell the dress on eBay to recover your costs (not sure if that's legal but I'd still say it!!)

MooningIntoTheAbyss Sat 07-May-16 08:54:49

I definitely told her that it was a 10+ hour job cos I explained what needing doing.
She did seemed surprised that 'just sewing' can take such a long time.

When I say I didn't give her a figure it's cos I didn't know if it would take 10 hours or 15.
The sheer volume of unpicking, removing a sim zip, measuring, pinning, and the. Sewing it and finishing it takes a long time.
But she knew it would be roughly in the 10 hours and at half price that's £50.
The £20 was handed over quite funnily like she knew she was taking the piss but almost daring me to say something. If that makes sense

I would have said all of that at least 3-4 times during all the begging so she knew.

Wedding is tomorrow.

LitteRedSparkle Sat 07-May-16 08:55:11

yeah, give back the dress and lose the friend, she doesnt sound like a keeper

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards Sat 07-May-16 08:55:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards Sat 07-May-16 08:55:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop Sat 07-May-16 08:56:51

Give her the dress

Don't ever do any work for friends again unless you disclose full estimate first.

Chippednailvarnish Sat 07-May-16 08:57:45

Give the dress back. On Monday.

Wahhahah evil laugh what a user!

gandalf456 Sat 07-May-16 08:59:34

I would give it back and put down to experience

hownottofuckup Sat 07-May-16 09:00:05

Read the OP she did warn her! and friend said 'I'll pay you money isn't the issue'

Foslady Sat 07-May-16 09:00:20

Keep the messages, print them off and frame them. Next time anyone asks point them to the frame....

MooningIntoTheAbyss Sat 07-May-16 09:00:54

It has 100% reinforced my rule not to work for friends or family!!

We weren't close close friends anyway.

Only1scoop Sat 07-May-16 09:01:18

Give it back to her full of itching powder....
Tee hee
<can you still buy itching powder>

tobysmum77 Sat 07-May-16 09:01:50

Yanbu.

Text her back, explain it took 10 hours and your rate is £10 per hour (hardly high!). You offered her mates rates at half price (meaning you were working for less than minimum wage) but that offer is now withdrawn. You are keeping the dress until she pays up or it will be sold to recover your losses. End of.

Some people, I would have insisted you charged me full rate and given you a present for sorting it at such short notice.

GinAndSonic Sat 07-May-16 09:01:51

She's taking the piss. I'd give the dress back though, then inform all mutual friends that she refused to pay you properly after making such a fuss about money being no problem and begging you to do it.

GinAndSonic Sat 07-May-16 09:02:44

Will it fit you? You could keep it and wear it to her wedding?

ParadiseCity Sat 07-May-16 09:03:12

It's a wedding dress - give it back to her. You didn't agree an exact price, I do understand why, but you don't have a leg to stand on.

The dress is no good for you, you don't need it, whether you keep it or not you have wasted your time, just give her the dress back and write off the friendship.

PlayNice Sat 07-May-16 09:05:02

Errr, you do have a leg to stand on. You have her wedding dress. No way she won't pay up. Keep hold of it until she does (and I'd be mightily tempted to be charging the full £100, seeing as the friendship is over anyway).

Euphemia Sat 07-May-16 09:05:49

I agree: return the dress, ditch the not-friend.

Only1scoop Sat 07-May-16 09:05:58

I don't think it's a 'wedding dress' as in bride etc....

It's a guests outfit I think.

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