AIBU to be peed off at gp school and myself

[tiredandiwannagotobed]

Tell me straight if I'm BU!

Ds is 16 has left school

From a very early age he's been a difficult child started off as constantly hyper into everything (different from his siblings) destructive cheeky rebellious, flew of the handle at the slightest thing, fighting at school and with siblings, never sat still always shouting out, I was always called into school because of his behaviour he's been suspended 3 times, was always on behaviour sheets!
I always cooperated with the school punished him at home!

Again from an early age I took him to health visitor and gp regarding his behaviour and they would always ask the same Qs does he sleep which he did! So they wouldn't help this has went on for years and years gp once said he's just a typical little boy! He certainly was not

School was no help either they called me at least 3 times a week to go in every time I went in at primary they used to say he was a lovable rogue (not what I wanted to hear I wanted to hear his behaviour wasn't normal and they would support me with gp)
At high school was worse he was branded the class clown couple of teachers were hard (I fully understand this and agreed with it) on him
But majority of teachers went all soft on him again saying he was this lovable little rogue (which really pissed me off at the time) how could he be a lovable rogue when he disrupted the class spoke back to teachers refused to do work, wouldn't do homework etc!
Again I took him back to docs but they said he was fine!

Fast forward a year or so he went to college they have discovered he's dyslexic and asked me to take him back to gp as they suspected adhd
Which I did and after a few months of attending cahms he's been diagnosed with adhd!

I feel awful that I've let him down so much along with gp and schools!

Sorry if this doesn't make sense but I've cried all the way through typing it

[Rezolution123]

Why are you taking all the guilt on yourself? What about these other people who were so-called experts? They were in a position of authority and expertise. Surely the onus was on them? They should all be feeling ashamed and inadequate, not you OP.

[ZigZagIntoTheBlue]

Yanbu to be annoyed at the school or the gp,but in not sure there is anything that can be done about it now. I'm glad he is getting help and is more settled as a result. I'm surprised dyslexia and adhd is still being missed these days, my sister's dyslexia was missed back in the 80's and she was dismissed as being 'stupid' she is of course anything but, but as a result she hated school and everything about it.
Yabu to feel like it's your fault though, you did all you could and it isn't your fault you weren't listened to. Move forwards and keep supporting him, you're doing a good job :)

[tiredandiwannagotobed]

I'm just feeling so guilty that he's been failed by me I should have went for 2nd opinions and went with my gut instinct

The thing that really saddens me is he said to the nurse I can't blame everything on the adhd I don't know why it saddens me maybe because he's being mature about I don't know!

[RubbleBubble00]

Adhd kids can be super smart and very good at masking problems. My eldest was sent for asd assessment due to behavioural issues discovered it was adhd which hadn't occurred to us as he slept like a log and had huge naps during the day.

Lots people arnt aware of inattentive side adhd - why it's often over looked in girls

[tiredandiwannagotobed]

He now can't sleep rumble which is one of the reasons it alerted the college as he was sleeping in (I was phoning him from work to wake him but he was going back to sleep) also his fidgeting and bursting out in class!

[Kariana]

I'm so surprised at the sleep thing. The child with the most severe ADHD that I came across would 'crash' and sleep like a log at night. This included getting so overwhelmed at a school sleepover that he fell into a deep sleep in the corner of a noisy classroom of 9 year olds at 7pm. Being a particularly heavy sleeper has always been an extra sign of severe ADHD to me.

[tiredandiwannagotobed]

As a child he was a fab sleeper long nap in afternoon and then in bed sleeping by 7.30 but now he can't sleep drifting off about 4-5am then struggles to get up, he's doing a sleep hygiene course and that fails he's being referred to consultant for melatonin

[EarthboundMisfit]

You sought help for him, repeatedly. I think you did all you reasonably could.