To use my child's money?

(207 Posts)
henparty Thu 05-May-16 09:56:09

Just looking for opinions on this. We are about to move house, buying a much nicer house in a better area. We can afford the repayments but are maxing ourselves with the move (trying to put as much deposit in as we can to get a better interest rate plus stamp duty, legal fees etc). We are using up every penny of savings but a year from now should be fine. When looking at the very stretched figures yesterday DH suggested we use our DDs savings. She was gifted £5000 by her grandmother before she died but the money is in an account in my name. DH said we could put the money back in within a year and pointed out that as DD is our only child (we cant have more) she will inherit the house one day anyway. AIBU to worry that it is wrong to borrow from your child?

ProfessorPickles Thu 05-May-16 09:58:59

I don't know how others feel about it but I owe DS £1000 currently.
I moved out on my own when he was 8 weeks old and needed money to furnish the house etc. I've probably borrowed about £700 off him but have kept adding interest.

He's only 2 and a half so I'll make sure it's paid back by the time he's 16, although I'm sure I'll pay it back before then! But I think I will always use it as an additional emergency fund on top of my measly savings until he's old enough.

MrsHathaway Thu 05-May-16 09:59:52

How sure are you that you'll be able to put it back (with interest) next year? If 90%+ go for it.

ProfessorPickles Thu 05-May-16 09:59:52

I'd definitely pay her it all back with a little bit of interest, I wouldn't write it off because she will get the house one day

Tinofsardines Thu 05-May-16 09:59:53

It would be wrong to take the money with no intention to pay it back but I don't see the problem with it if she's going to be repaid.

Perhaps, if i makes u feel better, repay the £5000 with a % of interest that beats what she'd earn if it sat there for the 12 months you needed to borrow it for.

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 05-May-16 10:01:14

I wouldn't, I'd think of it as stealing. It was given to him, it is his and he cannot give consent for its use. The giver did not mean it to be your fund to dip in to.

You expect to be able to replace it but what if something changes?

SellFridges Thu 05-May-16 10:04:46

I would. I'm all for saving for children's education, house deposits etc but those expenses come along when children are much older. I feel it's more important for young kids to have a good home and the occasional holiday/days out to create memories.

It's far more likely that you'll be in a position to save hard for DDd a few years down the line when you have fewer childcare costs and salaries have risen as your career progresses.

MissMoo22 Thu 05-May-16 10:05:09

If you're putting it back again then it's fine. They don't need the money yet and it will be there by the time they do need it.

ArmySal Thu 05-May-16 10:06:31

If you're absolutely going to put it back, I'd say it would be ok.

BertrandRussell Thu 05-May-16 10:06:48

My teenage ds has a well paid job and I'm always borrowing from him! I pay chocolate interest.

sharknad0 Thu 05-May-16 10:07:27

As long as you are clear with yourself that you owe her the money and must repay her, I can't see the problem. Just make sure you do not delay paying her back because you use the money for a holiday, to fix your car, for a new boiler etc.. That is the only dangerous thing, if you start thinking the money is kind of yours.

I am not sure I would even pay interests to be honest, I would just refund and make sure the account is exactly the same it would have been if I hadn't taken the money (so only pay the interests she would have earned if the money hadn't been moved if that makes sense).

Hold is she?

araiba Thu 05-May-16 10:07:37

if you're taking your child's money, then you cant afford it

sooperdooper Thu 05-May-16 10:13:05

As long as you pay it back its fine - but you can't take it on the basis she'll inherit the house, you can't possibly know that (care home fees etc?) and plus even if she did that'll be much later than she'd have had access to the money

ShortbreadFinger Thu 05-May-16 10:15:24

I do this regularly to make ends meet if needs be; buy school shoes occasionally and dip into it for holiday spending money for them if needed etc. I really don't see a problem with it as even if I dont manage to pay back the exact amount inside a particular timeframe, whenever we have anything extra, it goes straight into their accounts. We also pay a monthly amount in. I would happily print off all the statements to show them how we used the money and what we did in terms of providing them with savings.

misscph1973 Thu 05-May-16 10:15:48

It's not wrong to borrow from your child, but it does sound a bit like you are in over your head with this new house? Is it worth the financial stress?

peggyundercrackers Thu 05-May-16 10:18:43

your stealing your childs money, as araiba says if you need her money you cannot afford the house - you say you will put it back but there is no guarantee because you don't know whats going to happen in the future.

BaboonBottom Thu 05-May-16 10:20:29

If your putting it back, its fine. If its left to inherit no.

God willing she will inherit it years and years from now, whilst that 5k could have gone towards uni fees/first car/ deposit on rental flat.

I do know someone who dips in to do their house up with no view to pay it back as they will inherit the house. That doesn't sit well with me on the basis that the new bathroom the kids paid for will (god willing) be 50 odd years old before they benefit from the 'return' on their savings.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 05-May-16 10:21:21

I would use it. You are the child's legal guardian and you are paying it back.

What it's used for, when you repay it are irrelevant and asking in here wasn't the wisest thing to do because you will always get a certain few taking the moral high ground when in reality the only bad thing you could be doing in this situation is taking the money and never intending to repay it

AndNowItsSeven Thu 05-May-16 10:21:59

She is stealing her dd's money how ridiculous. It would be sensible to use the money and pay it back with 6% interest. Otherwise if you borrow money with the interest repayments you will have less money to spend day to day on your dd.

MonkeyPJs Thu 05-May-16 10:22:34

DH said we could put the money back in within a year and pointed out that as DD is our only child (we cant have more) she will inherit the house one day anyway

I wouldn't - and would also worry that with this sort of logic it would be a slippery slope toward not paying her back at all.

HeteronormativeHaybales Thu 05-May-16 10:23:30

I'm with araiba.

We've saved a small amount monthly for our children since they were small and quite a good amount has come together. The idea is not to touch this if at all possible but if we fell on hard times and needed it for a school trip, music lessons etc we would dip into it. But only for stuff that was to benefit exclusively them. This doesn't, however you frame it. It does sound like you're in over your heads.

katienana Thu 05-May-16 10:23:32

I think your child will benefit more from moving to a lovely house than she will from 5k sat in a bank account. And like you say the house will go to her one day anyway.

Oysterbabe Thu 05-May-16 10:24:15

I would be very very uncomfortable with this. I don't think I could take money left by her grandma, it would just feel like stealing.

Oysterbabe Thu 05-May-16 10:27:31

DH said we could put the money back in within a year and pointed out that as DD is our only child (we cant have more) she will inherit the house one day anyway

Will she? You won't need to sell it to fund your care in old age then? I don't think you can guarantee she'll get the house at all. As a pp said, sounds like he's already justifying not paying it back.

Fratelli Thu 05-May-16 10:27:59

It wouldn't cross my mind to consider using my childs money. Dp and I saved up money for deposit plus moving and legal fees before looking for a house to buy. You should also factor in savings for any repairs you may encounter such as the boiler breaking etc. These would obviously need to be prioritised over paying your daughter back. The house does sound as if it's too much for you to take on currently.

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