Special milestone birthdays

[fluffymummykins]

AIBU to expect my husband to organise something really special for my birthday?

I turn 30 in 2 months and I have never done anything big for a birthday, but I really want to make it amazing because its a big birthday age. I've told hubby I want something special like a night away or a party or a piece of jewellery, But he has so far not organised anything. I've planned an experience day and a massive party for his next milestone, but I just think I'm going to be disappointed

[SwingingFromTheChanderlier]

You can't be sure that nothing's been planned!

I'd say lucky you! No way could my DH or I afford anything along the lines of a weekend away regardless of a milestone.

Happy Birthday OP, hope you have an amazing day

[Campbell2016]

You should know him well enough to know if he is the kind of person who can organise a surprise that you would like? Some partners are good at this kind of stuff some aren't. If it were my DH I would take him out and choose a piece of jewellery to give me. A surprise party isn't a surprise if you've asked or hinted that you want one.

[FirstWeTakeManhattan]

It's two months away and you're starting to be disappointed already?

[MsVestibule]

What does he do for a normal birthday? Card, present?

[fluffymummykins]

I get a card and present, but usually not until the day after. He is very forgetful. I guess I would like to know if we're going away just because I rarely leave my children so we would need to organise childcare.

[Osolea]

It's nice to want to do something special for birthdays, but there's no real reason why someone else has to organise it as a surprise.

If you want a night away, then choose somewhere and send your dh the link. If he hasn't booked it within a week, then book it yourself. The night away will still be the same. If you want jewellery, same thing. Tell him exactly what you want, and then if he doesn't produce, you have fair reason to be disappointed and tell him he's a git. If you let yourself get your hopes up knowing that your dh is forgetful and unlikely to do what you've done for him, then you only have yourself to blame if you end up disappointed.

A party though, you really should plan yourself if you want one. Parties aren't easy to organise and there are so many different things to think about that if you think your dh is someone who isn't very good with that type of thing, then it's highly unlikely he's going to do a surprise party.

[FirstWeTakeManhattan]

Why don't you talk to him about it instead of waiting to see if you'll be disappointed? Nearly everyone I know helps to organise their own 'landmark' Birthdays or at least has a hand in it.

I don't get the point of waiting for someone to not get it quite right, then complaining that it wasn't 'amazing' enough. Not that you've done that yet OP, but you see my point.

I wanted to go to a really fantastic restaurant which only does a handful of covers each week, for my last 'big' Birthday, and really enjoyed arranging it with a night away, cocktails in a little bar nearby etc.

Your DH will, I assume, get a nice card and pressie, but I'm not sure I really go in for the whole arranging something for someone else. Although you have for him, which I'm sure he'll love, but it's not the only way, and certainly not one that I encounter often, if I'm honest.

[fluffymummykins]

Thanks everyone I have told him what I would like, even little suggestions like a picnic where we had oiur first date or pay for me to get many eyebrows done by someone other than my auntie (!)
I have had the tendency in the past to nag about something and then he got mad once because he'd planned a surprise (to propose to me) which I ruined because I was asking too many questions, so I don't want to make the same mistake!