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to not mention this?

(14 Posts)
DuckAndPancakes Wed 04-May-16 14:54:22

It's a few weeks ago that this happened, but keep worrying I'm being an awful person... Even if family tell me otherwise.

DD's Dad ended up double paying maintenance over Easter weekend. I always have to chase him for the payment and had done so on the Friday, where it got paid. On the Monday, he came to take DD out for the day and as she got in the car said "oh I forgot about maintenance and I'm just putting it in now" whilst on his phone. Initial reaction was hmm as was sure he had but thought maybe pregnancy brain had been confused. Checked my banking after they left and he had in fact paid on the Friday AND the Monday.

He pays £100 fortnightly which was assessed by the CSA a few years ago. He's since changed jobs several times but not mentioned anything about his earnings and I'm not allowed to ask as apparently it means that all I care about is money. I'm pretty sure if I told him/tell him that he will forfeit paying for another period instead.

He didn't pay over Christmas as he had booked time off and "didn't get paid" due to being self employed. Apparently, expecting him to factor maintenance into his needed weekly costs along side rent etc is unreasonable.

Help?

acasualobserver Wed 04-May-16 14:55:54

I don't think you noticed it, did you?

Somerville Wed 04-May-16 14:59:34

He pays a whole 50 quid a week towards his child? What a prince among men. hmm

I wouldn't tell him. And if he ever realises and challenges it, I'd say, 'Oh I thought you'd finally realised that 100 quid a fortnight means every fortnight, and have finally paid for that missed time at Christmas.'

DuckAndPancakes Wed 04-May-16 15:10:18

Yup, £50 a week. He earns (if maintenance figures are correct) the same amount as my DP who certainly spends a considerable amount more than that on DD. According to ex that is DPs "own fault for lumping up with" me.

There's no added extras there at all either, no help towards uniform/clothes etc... Though he has bought her a couple of pairs of shoes in the last 5 years.

I've had the attitude of "oh I'll just pretend I didn't notice" but everyone who knows me knows that I am absolutely obsessive with checking my banking.

I'm also kind of cross that someone can manage to forget and miss £100 from their account over the space of a few days when they are apparently skint?! Think I'm feeling extra pissed off about everything and also scared of ramifications of saying anything.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Wed 04-May-16 15:13:31

Don't mention it to him. If he does, say that you figured he was finally paying what he owed from Christmas.

hesterton Wed 04-May-16 15:16:33

Yup, I agree. If he says anything say oh yeah the Christmas money which has finally been paid, right?

Somerville Wed 04-May-16 15:17:26

I've had the attitude of "oh I'll just pretend I didn't notice" but everyone who knows me knows that I am absolutely obsessive with checking my banking.

You don't need to pretend you didn't notice, if he ever raises it.

He owes you the money (from christmas). Now he's paid it.

If it was in error and he wasn't going to ever pay you what he owed you, that isn't you fault, is it?

gamerchick Wed 04-May-16 15:18:51

Just say nothing. Take it as he's caught up.

My ex has the attitude it's my husbands fault for taking me on and he should cough up, with a laugh.

Then offered me 30p and that's been the end of it but asks me for food parcels if middle son stays there hmm

Say nothing the twunt.

Pinkheart5915 Wed 04-May-16 15:19:49

I wouldn't mention, he probably won't even notice himself as it happened a few weeks ago and he hasn't noticed yet. Clearly doesn't need the money then so could pay more towards his child.
If he does say anything just say "oh I thought you paid extra to cover Christmas when yoU didn't pay"

Pinkheart5915 Wed 04-May-16 15:20:48

Gamerchick 30p shock

DuckAndPancakes Wed 04-May-16 15:22:45

Will keep Christmas answer in my pocket for if it ever comes up.

Gamerchick - sounds bloody wonderful. Does he also insult your DH and tell him that he's "nothing" to DS? Some guys are the best! 🙄

VimFuego101 Wed 04-May-16 15:26:18

I would assume it was to cover Christmas and think no more of it.

gamerchick Wed 04-May-16 15:46:43

Yep all of that. I've stopped the youngest from seeing him anyway and the bairns a lot happier. Told him to take me to court and while we're there we'll sort out 7 years backdated child support.

Funnily enough I've heard nothing.

Makes you wonder what we ever saw in them really.

blindsider Wed 04-May-16 15:51:03

He owes you the money (from christmas). Now he's paid it.

This

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