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to want a baby...

(3 Posts)
IntelligentPutty Wed 04-May-16 07:45:18

I am 37, DH is 43, we have a DD who is just 2.
I never went back on contraception after DD was born (in case it took a while for it to stop working, when we decided to have another).
Now I am ready, the time feels right, DD will (hopefully) have free childcare soon. The clock is ticking..
We abstained from sex for a long while after DD was born (no libido when BF!). And now when we DTD , DH is very careful to withdraw IYSWIM..
I have now said I want us to start trying, but he wants to wait until
1. We move house..
2. I get rid of cough... (I had a cough since chest infection in Feb).

I think he is anxious , last night he accused me of thinking of him as a machine.. (we did not argue, but I just brought it up again).. I don't want to go on, but I don;t want to leave it until I am no longer able to have babies.. as it stands I am one of the "older" mums, and I want some sort of closeness in the age gap between DD and sibling...

I'm not sure why I'm posting.. i just need to persist, I don't want to be the nagging wife who goes on and on though.. It should be a happy time... (me in my own dream world I suppose!).

He has always said he wants us to have 2.. we have been together for 18 years and married for 1... we are happy otherwise...

RaeSkywalker Wed 04-May-16 09:50:51

I think you need to talk to him again, and explain why you don't want to wait. You can't force him to agree though, it might be that he's not ready.

I'm sure you know this already, but the withdrawal method really isn't a very effective contraceptive anyway...

Normandy144 Wed 04-May-16 09:58:38

I agree that you need to talk to him but also make progress in the two things he wants to have sorted out. They seem valid points to me, especially regarding your health. Are you actively looking for a new home? I moved house recently with an almost 3 yr old and a 10 week old so I'd definitely recommend getting settled in the new place if you can as it has been very trying!

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