I was admitted to hospital yesterday morning by ambulance for gall bladder pain. Have been on morphine for 24 hours and am now knocking back the tramadol as I'm so uncomfortable. Currently lying in bed.
Dd has a class assembly today last week I promised I would go. I really don't feel up to it. She cried this morning and said I never go to any of her assembly's.
This might be true but only because I'm working to pay for my children to have food and somewhere to live! They never have a go at their father who doesn't live with us.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or just rambling in a morphine induced state.
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AIBU?
My children don't get it when I'm ill
17 replies
PotterBot · 03/05/2016 10:25
OP posts:
BarbarianMum ·
03/05/2016 10:41
She's likely crying because she's upset and disappointed that you can't make it. At 8 you still see your parents as all powerful so it is hard (and scary, in this case) when you realise that they can't always keep their promises. Give her a hug and tell her you wish you could be there but a friend's mum will be watching her and will tell you all about it (if you know any of any mums that are likely to be there). I quite often watch class assemblies on behalf of several mums and they return the favour when I'm working.
And get well soon, she'll be fine.
Witchend ·
03/05/2016 14:52
Thing is that I don't think a lot children understand that adults can really be ill. I have two memories of either of my parents being ill. One was my dad when he got tonsillitis at the same time as me so we went to the doctor together. That's why I remember him being ill, not because he acted as though he felt ill. And mum went into hospital for a hernia operation. I was 12yo, and I have no recollection of her being out of action afterwards, she couldn't jog for a couple of weeks but I don't recall her acting ill at all.
I'm sure there were times they were not well but I don't remember them acting like it.
8yo is still quite young to understand that mummy doesn't feel well enough. At that age they really do love seeing you in school. if you'd promised you would go, and never do, it was a big thing for her- I suspect you might well have been disappointed if you'd said you would go and she said she wasn't bothered.
When dd1 was right at the end of year 6 I remember going in at lunch for a parent thing. One of her form-one of the "tough type nothing phases me" boys, stood the whole lunch time by the school gate "just in case mum might come". Nothing anyone could say moved him. The look on his face as he looked out. 
Later I spoke to his mum and the day came up in conversation and she said that she'd told him from the outset that there was absolutely no way she could make that date-she managed about half plus similar things, and that was one she knew she couldn't get time off for.
HermioneJeanGranger ·
03/05/2016 14:59
Oh bless her - eight is still young. She's probably going through a whole mixture of emotions but she doesn't know how to express them, so she's just burst into tears. I imagine she's worried about you, disappointed because you can't be there when you promised, angry that you getting sick meant she got let down and all that together just made her overwhelmed and upset.
When I was that age, my parents rarely made things like assemblies as they both worked and I remember being really happy when they said they could get time off, and equally really upset when a meeting came up which meant they cancelled. She doesn't hate you, she's just upset and really wanted you to be there.
I hope you feel better soon, though. Just give her a cuddle when she gets home from school and do something special with her once you feel better.
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