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Am I overthinking this or was the ballet teacher out of order?

(136 Posts)
mika2 Mon 02-May-16 22:05:15

DD is 2.5 and she started ballet a couple of weeks ago. It's drop off and parents are not allowed to watch the class and can't even peek through a window or door which makes me a bit uncomfortable Anyway I dropped her for her first class and she was happy enough when I picked her up but the teacher said she was fine but cried a few times hmm For her second class the nanny dropped her off. The uniform is a tutu, white tights, cardigan, ballet shoes. I hadn't bought the tights as weather is getting better (supposedly) but it was cold so the nanny put her in her own white tights (slightly thicker than the ballet tights) and put on a vest underneath the tutu (which you could barely see as she was also wearing a cardigan) Anyway nanny picked her up and the teacher had taken off her vest and tights. She told the nanny those were the wrong tights and she doesn't need the vest as the room is warm. She had to strip her down to her knickers to take them off as the tights and vest were underneath her tutu. This really bothers me as I feel it's a total invasion of my daughters privacy. Clearly at 2.5 she's not really in a position to object! And I'm sure she was crying her eyes out while it was happening. I can't imagine a teacher would be allowed to do this in a school??

Thoughts please? Am I overthinking this? WWYD?

Passmethecrisps Mon 02-May-16 22:08:06

Why do you think she was crying her eyes out? I suspect my 3 yo would let any adult in authority do this actually. Is she terribly anxious of strangers

Smartiepants79 Mon 02-May-16 22:09:18

For a toddler ballet class this level of 'uniform' is utterly ridiculous. Special tights doesn't make them into prima ballerinas.
I would start looking for somewhere else to send her. No other adult has the right to remove clothing from your child. How many adults were in the room. That teacher is on very dodgy ground unnecessaryily undressing a small child like that.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Mon 02-May-16 22:09:38

I think teachers can change children at school, and if your daughter was hot and running around, she may have been happier without the vest and tights.

Thst said, you sound very uncomfortable about the teacher so I wouldn't send her again for that reason - not because she changed your child but because your gut instinct is not good.

marmiteloversunite Mon 02-May-16 22:11:33

That would really bother me too. Surely if she was hot she could have just helped her take off the cardigan. Also any white tights should have been fine for the first few weeks. Where there any other adults in the room? At school an adult would not be allowed to strip a child to their underwear without another adult there.

Itsmine Mon 02-May-16 22:11:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

echelon Mon 02-May-16 22:13:12

I would be very uncomfortable. Why are parents not allowed to observe the children? Is this standard in ballet classes?

LaurieMarlow Mon 02-May-16 22:13:13

I can't imagine leaving a 2.5 year old in a class like that were I wasn't even allowed to watch. How long is it?

I'd move her to to a more toddler friendly class.

Wolfiefan Mon 02-May-16 22:13:43

Stripping down to her knickers wouldn't bother me. But I wouldn't send my toddler somewhere that had her in tears and wouldn't let me stay. confused

HPandBaconSandwiches Mon 02-May-16 22:14:55

Why on earth are you sending a 2.5 yo to a class without you or any other trusted adult where she has to wear a strict uniform. She's 2.5 FFS. Why would you?

andintothefire Mon 02-May-16 22:15:08

It does sound slightly odd. However, I wonder if the teacher was partly thinking of your daughter's comfort because the tights and vest might have been too hot while she was doing something energetic? I would probably not say anything and just stick to the uniform from now on to be honest. If you are happy with the class in other ways it doesn't seem too bad to me.

Passmethecrisps Mon 02-May-16 22:15:37

Actually my answer reinforces others weirdly. My dd would do whatever a grown up told her to as tat is the child she is. For that reason a class which didn't allow any sort of supervision would be strange

Peppapogstillonaloop Mon 02-May-16 22:15:48

Dress code is excessive but some ballet schools are just like that...don't think teacher was particularly out of line but might be an idea to look for something more toddler friendly/that you feel happier with..

MarthaCliffYouCunt Mon 02-May-16 22:16:23

Wtf? At 2.5 they have to stick to such a strict dress code? I'd be amazed if a ballet class for 2.5 year olds resembles anything other than herding ducks.

BikeRunSki Mon 02-May-16 22:16:36

Bonkers at that age.
DD had been going to ballet since about 2.5 and "uniform" is not compulsory or consistent until they are school age. Most of the girls (including my tomboy DD) like the opportunity to dress up in tutus once a week. At 4 now, they are very disparaging about The Boy who wears a white 2 shirt and black sweat pants.

Idliketobeabutterfly Mon 02-May-16 22:16:46

Do none of the local ballet schools do parent and child classes?

Ameliablue Mon 02-May-16 22:17:08

I'd look for a different class.

WellErrr Mon 02-May-16 22:19:15

Why on earth are you sending a 2.5 yo to a class without you or any other trusted adult where she has to wear a strict uniform. She's 2.5 FFS. Why would you?


What a ridiculous situation. What can your DD possibly be getting out of this?

FWIW I have NEVER heard of a class for children under 4 where parents do not stay. It's ludicrous.

idontlikealdi Mon 02-May-16 22:19:29

It sounds ridiculous for a ballet class for 2.5yo. DTs went to a ballet class, parents had to take part with the kids to prevent total carnage. I can't quite imagine a room full of 2.5yo doing any form of balled.

AppleAndBlackberry Mon 02-May-16 22:20:17

2.5 seems very young for this type of class. Shouldn't they just be skipping around in circles at this age with parents sitting around the outside of the room? I wouldn't be too upset about the undressing in principal - you have to trust nursery workers etc to do this, but the reason for it isn't great (I.e. incorrect uniform rather than child too hot or anything else).

Ilovewillow Mon 02-May-16 22:20:39

It sounds excessive firstly for such a strict uniform for lessons (I know for exams it is very strict) and secondly a class for children so young where adults cannot stay or even watch! My daughters ballet class has mother and toddler classes and even older ones can be watched therorgh the door and she is 7. I wouldn't be happy and be going elsewhere!

cinnamonorange Mon 02-May-16 22:21:10

Some ballet schools are really strict. Nothing sinister - it's just the rules. I remember being moved around a couple of ballet schools when I was little until we had found one where I was happy.

BrownAjah Mon 02-May-16 22:21:29

My son has only just started ballet be his class is very relaxed about the uniform. They are all infant school age and younger kids do a parent & child class. I would look elsewhere!

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 02-May-16 22:23:55

I can kind of understand parents not being allowed in the watch as sometimes they mess about or refuse to mingle and remain stuck to mommy/daddy's legs.

but not even being allowed to peek. .Wtf are they hiding

I wouldn't think anything of a bunch if kids dancing around on their pants if it happens to have gotten too hot or they got uncomfortable.

but the "wrong rights" fuck right off. leave the kids alone

secrecy and ridiculous unifirm rules on 2 yr olds.

yeah mine wouldn't be going back

icclemunchy Mon 02-May-16 22:26:08

Not being able to stay to watch the class is fairly common. I help out at the school where DD1 goes and from the first class (age 3) they are encouraged to go in alone whilst their adult waits outside. We find if parents are in the class more time is spent running backwards and forwards to show mummy something or waving and not paying attention to the teacher. That said if they're upset we always bring parents in to reassure them!

The dress code is a bit daft. Our students are encouraged to wear the uniform (pink leotard/skirt/tights & cardi) but it's only insisted on for exams

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