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WIBU to help DS set up a date? (He is 14)

(21 Posts)
Laurielle123 Sun 01-May-16 01:37:29

DS1 is 14. We are definitely very close, as unfortunately my DH/his dad, passed away when he was very young.

He often talks to me about things. He recently told me that there is this girl he likes and he likes her back. They have been friends for a while... He then told me her name, she's lovely, I've met her a few times, but as a friend. I don't see what the need is to have her as a girlfriend at his age, but I suppose that's what happens.

Anyway, I didn't think much of it, I thought it may be a little relationship or crush, but not a particularly big deal.

He went into town earlier (yesterday now) and got a few things. Flowers, a Millie's Cookie, etc... Which I thought was adorable irrelevant

He has asked me if I could give him some advice and help him plan an official date. I was a little taken back and didn't really know if that's something I should be encouraging at 14? WWYD?

MammasBrandNewBag Sun 01-May-16 02:15:01

How adorable! I would help him plan something sweet and age appropriate. Maybe cinema or bowling or something? He hangs out with her anyway and they obviously like each other a lot, so by not helping him you are not preventing any developments.

I believe that by helping him plan the date you are teaching him how to treat women and providing his template for future dating. You will also help reduce his anxiety about the situation. He will know that he can continue to talk to you about these things so you will remain informed.

Definitely use this as an opportunity to have The Chat though - not just about pregnancy and disease /infections but about waiting, consent and texting pics etc. Not suggesting that your DS would do anything horrible, just that I think people forget how vulnerable boys can be too.

ppandj Sun 01-May-16 03:26:18

I definitely agree with the previous poster. I see it as a big positive that he has asked your advice on this one.

Out2pasture Sun 01-May-16 04:30:18

what a great opportunity to teach him how to treat a lady on a date smile

anklemcankle Sun 01-May-16 04:54:19

Yanbu that is so lovely and I hope my dcs are able to confide in my like that when they are older smile

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Sun 01-May-16 05:48:07

Yanbu! That's so cute.

You're doing a great job with your boy flowers

velourvoyageur Sun 01-May-16 12:01:30

most adorable thing I've heard today!

14 is fine to start dating and he sounds like he'd be a fab first boyfriend

MrsJayy Sun 01-May-16 12:06:04

Aww that is so cute he sounds a lovely lad 14 isnt to young to be dating really he needs to keep it casual cinema and maybe a pizza I think its lovely he has asked you to help him

Laurielle123 Sun 01-May-16 12:32:47

Great, thank you for your replies smile

Skittlesss Sun 01-May-16 14:14:26

Aww how cute! Sorry I have no advice as my little boy is only 3, but I just wanted to say that he sounds lovely and sweet and you are not unreasonable at all to help him. smile hope my boy is as close to me when he's older

blondieblondie Sun 01-May-16 14:20:10

Flowers and cookies - can't possibly fail. I think it's lovely that he has asked you to help him.

WTF I actually have a tear in my eye.

aww at around the same age, perhaps even younger
<memory not what it used to be>
DS had one of his female friends over, he wanted to 'be left alone to watch a film mum' so I served them a tray of snacks and did 'cocktails' in posh glasses with cherries and an umbrella, they were both really chuffed with that. may or may not have been a quick kiss but no lasting romance grin

dillydotty Sun 01-May-16 14:40:33

I went on my first date at 12. He saw me across the dance floor of the scout disco. He wooed me by sending a black magic easter egg to me via a girl who was at my school. We went swimming for our first date. We were together for almost a year. I gave him a peck on the cheek at the end of every date. Young love.

A month after we split up he met someone else and snogged her on more or less their first date. I was majorly offended as he never even tried to snog me sad

I am over the disappointment now grin

It was all massively innocent and sweet.

Give him a hand, poor little lad.

Ilikesweetpeas Sun 01-May-16 14:43:19

Ahh, lovely. I hope that my DD meets someone like your son when she's older. You have obviously brought him up well

ayesar Sun 01-May-16 15:01:04

Reading your post brought a smile to my face. I hope my sons can talk to me about this stuff when they are older too. Hope you two plan something nice and have fun. I agree with having the talk with him too. 14 is definitely the age where all kinds of things are going on with texting and sex etc.

velourvoyageur Sun 01-May-16 15:56:02

blondie grin @ waterworks
it is a lovely thread though isn't it, aww

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo Sun 01-May-16 15:59:13

Aww, bless him smile

Euphemia Sun 01-May-16 16:00:19

That's so lovely! DD is 14 in the summer and I hope lads are as nice to her. smile

Pinkheart5915 Sun 01-May-16 16:03:40

I think it is very cute and lovely he asked your advice. Nothing wrong with a girlfriend at 14
Flowers and cookies, can't go wrong.

dailyfailrag Sun 01-May-16 16:11:46

Aww your DS is lovely and I think you've done a wonderful job in raising him. I think it's ok for them to do a bit of dating at that age. It's good to get used to socialising in that way, rather than having to jump into it at the age of 16 when the hormones are really kicking in!

All you can do is be there for the ups and downs. I think it'd be lovely for you to help him with his date.

80schild Sun 01-May-16 18:42:55

Sweet that he has asked for advice, so long as it stays advice - I will never forget being dumped by the mother of a boyfriend . She clearly took it way to seriously.

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