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Aibu to be so frustrated with sister?

(14 Posts)
evilnaggingwife Sat 30-Apr-16 23:06:06

My sister has major problems. I'll list some of them here for background:

She is very overweight and lives of junk food, she is incapable of seeing how this affects her health. It has caused a number of health issues. She refuses to listen to doctors and spends hours everyday researching medications/treatments

Her house is filthy. Mouldy and stinks of animal wee. She won't let anyone in and has purchased so much junk there's hardly any room. She has poor personal hygiene.

She is pretty much unemployable, has no friends/partner. She goes through massive periods of time not talking to her family because we dare tried to help her

She is obsessed with unusual hobbies and wastes huge amounts of cash that she doesn't have on them.

I have tried to help but she just won't listen. I don't know what is wrong? Any ideas of anything I can do?

The latest thing is she has gotten massively behind on bill payments and has been threatened with eviction. She spends her money on rubbish and junk food! Things have reached a critical level.

She just thinks the council will give her a house! I have tried explaining that this is not the case.

I'm so worried for her. Aibu for thinking she's a lost cause? Is there anything that the council can do to help? I fear she might slip between the cracks... Not bad enough to qualify for help, not good enough to look after herself.

AriaTloak Sat 30-Apr-16 23:23:17

You can't help someone who won't help themselves.

Don't lose any more sleep over it, you've exhausted all options and tried to help and get met with a brick wall.

Let her make her mistakes and be there when she finally realises she needs help!

Therealloislane Sat 30-Apr-16 23:29:53

She sounds depressed

GreenishMe Sat 30-Apr-16 23:32:51

I think she might have mental health issues. She sounds very unhappy.

evilnaggingwife Sat 30-Apr-16 23:34:44

My family think she has a form of autism but I don't know much about that. She refuses to seek help regarding any of these things so I'm not sure we will ever know

Brainnotbrawn Sat 30-Apr-16 23:42:38

I was just going to ask had she ever been assessed for ASD. She needs support not condemnation for these behaviours. Unfortunately she seems to be slipping through the net.

Brainnotbrawn Sat 30-Apr-16 23:46:06

Yanbu to be frustrated though, it must be awful to watch.

CrazyCatLaydee123 Sat 30-Apr-16 23:51:59

She sounds like she has very low self esteem - maybe she doesn't feel like she's worth sorting herself out for?

DailyMailDick Sat 30-Apr-16 23:59:09

This is a very sad situation and I'm not suprised you feel frustrated. It's so difficult to help someone who doesn't want help. I think you have to look after yourself and try not to 'care' too much. (I know that's easier said than done). Help and be there when you can but try and emotionally distance yourself. IYSWIM

How old is your sister?

MiddleClassProblem Sun 01-May-16 00:17:18

It really sounds like depression or something. Sometimes people saying you need help can feel pressured and overwhelming. Think softly, slowly. Although everyone is different. Money wise there are free debt advice charities that can do wonders too.

Read from page 20.

www.mind.org.uk/media/42904/understanding_depression_2012.pdf

mummyto2monkeys Sun 01-May-16 00:52:57

I would agree about her having autism, she is vulnerable, and everything you mention just reinforces that your sister is on the spectrum. If she doesn't have a diagnosis then she has already fallen through the cracks, she needs to be referred immediately and she needs a social worker and carers to help her.

She can't help her behaviours, she is not choosing to be like this she just is. The world is a scary place when you have autism. Please get her help, I am saddened that she has got to this stage of life with no diagnosis/ support from social services.

Please contact the national autistic society

Contact your local adult care team at social services. Organise an appointment with a g.p and ask for a referral for a diagnosis of Autism. Your sister desperately needs help.

mummyto2monkeys Sun 01-May-16 00:53:15

www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is.aspx

evilnaggingwife Sun 01-May-16 18:29:31

Thanks all. She's in her 30s. I think I'm going to convince her to go to gp with me. She's even spoken herself about possibly having autism but says since there's no cure what's the point in getting diagnosed. she really does counter argue every possible thing.

mummyto2monkeys Mon 02-May-16 23:18:03

The point of diagnosis is not to find a cure, but for her and others around her, to better cope with life/ better understand her behaviours. There is a large adult community of autistic people out there and it can really help to have friends who understand. Good Luck op, I hope that your sister will agree to going to appointments/ asking for support/ seeking diagnosis

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