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AIBU to get so offended

(58 Posts)
Littlelondoner Sat 30-Apr-16 19:52:18

I more and more find my self getting offended by things people say to me with regards to my apperance.

I am 28 with a very petite but curvy figure but my face looks really young. I have very soft features that masses of contouring can not help.

I always have people look at me and treat me like I am a lot younger than I am. A young teenager.

Only for them to start talking to me and realise that I am actually alot older than they thought.

Most of my friends are a bit older than me & my DP is 35. So I am always around people few years older socially.

I am sick of people looking at me like who is she. She is so young. And all of the comments that come with it.

Once I speak people respect me and realise I mean business. But sometime it is really hard walking into business meetings etc. And people treating you like the intern.

Only to get the oh so patronising comments like ahhh you will be so grateful by time you are in your 50s, what face cream do you use etc etc.

AIBU to want to scream at them I am a very confident self assured 28 year old with a mortgage, long term relationship, TTC. And a very sucessful career.

AIBU to get so offended by this. Everytime it happens I just feel my mood change.

Littlelondoner Sat 30-Apr-16 19:54:47

This rant may or may not be brought on by the girl in boots refusing to sell me neurophen for bad PMT with out ID.

I have not carried ID with me in years....

TeaBelle Sat 30-Apr-16 19:56:00


TheCatsMeow Sat 30-Apr-16 19:57:51

I got IDd the first time two weeks after I'd given birth. I'd been going to that pub since I was 16. I didn't have any ID either because I don't carry it.

An old woman once asked me if I was a teenager when I was pushing my pram lol.

I find it annoying too, though I'm early 20s and do look about 15.

blondieblondie Sat 30-Apr-16 20:01:48

As long as people treat you respectfully once they realise you're not a teenager, I don't see the problem. I'm 33, got asked for ID buying alcohol last week and it made my day. The only time I was a bit gibsmacked was when someone said about my 5 year old, "Five?! You must have had him at about 15!". Like it was their business if I had!

ollieplimsoles Sat 30-Apr-16 20:23:38

I was prepared to give you a biscuit when I started reading op, but once I got to the end I kinda think yanbu.

I'm a year younger than you with a 6 month old. I've been mistaken for a teen mum before (nothing wrong with that) and I always have to prove my age when buying alcohol.
But I run my own business, I have done since I was 24

Mishaps Sat 30-Apr-16 20:25:31

I wish I was thought to be younger than I am! Enjoy it while you may!

TimeToMuskUp Sat 30-Apr-16 20:27:28

I'm 34 and never got ID'd as a teen. Now I get asked for it when I go to the local Co-Op for wine. I've given up even trying to work out what's going on. I'm a bit Benjamin Button and don't seem to have aged since my twenties. I'm hoping to look like a five year old by the time I'm 70 just to shit the kids up.

scandichick Sat 30-Apr-16 20:30:43

The first thing I'd look at is how you dress - forget about makeup, a black blazer could work wonders (I found this illuminating:

I remember a thread on S&B about how to power dress, for want of a better expression - it had loads of other advice.

I look young too and get how annoying it can be used to be, but you can definitely use clothes to change the way you're perceived.

Sukebind Sat 30-Apr-16 20:31:33

It is annoying but it will pass and then you might miss it a bit. I used to get annoyed by the 'Are you sure you're old enough to buy this?' sort of comments ('Yes, thank you, I am 27 next month') and the 'Give the girls your books' (Mum to children when I worked in a library - I was married and doing my third degree by then). I do miss the getting ID's a bit now. Last time it happened I was 34 but I think it's because I was looking shifty because I always feel guilty about it even though it's all very much legal!

You are not being unreasonable though!

Lighteningirll Sat 30-Apr-16 20:36:12

I feel your pain yanbu but what can you do my first dh got some very funny looks I had my first dc at 22 and I looked about fifteen. That first dc at fifteen was mortified by me as at 37 I looked about 25 people thought I was his girlfriend but sadly now at fifty something it doesn't happen as much. Now I think people think I'm lazy rather than health challenged when I say I am semi retired. People are judgy about looks especially when it comes to motherhood and work.

Oysterbabe Sat 30-Apr-16 20:42:36

I'm 35 and look about 55. Could be worse?

bomfunk Sat 30-Apr-16 20:44:39

I look young as hell too - 31 this month. I felt compelled to 'prove' I was older when I had my eldest babies at 24 and 25, frequently treated condescendingly. I don't look that much older now, but I've found my fuckit groove and now embrace it completely: I have pink hair, wear band tees and act and dress quite frankly however the hell I want to, if someone wants to judge me based on the age they think I am then crack on! I'm now at 30 appreciating my youthful face and figure. Long may it continue grin

Alexa444 Sat 30-Apr-16 20:51:17

I kind of like being mistaken for a teen. Its the look of hastily hidden shock on their faces when they realise. We probably WILL be glad of it in 10 years time though. When all our mates are wrinkly we will still look about 30. grin

bakeoffcake Sat 30-Apr-16 20:53:43

I was ID in Tescos whilst buying some cider to make a gravy.
I was 29 at the timehmm

I do understand what you mean OP. It can be so annoying to be treated like a teenager.

BillSykesDog Sat 30-Apr-16 20:53:44

YANBU. This used to happen to me at your age and it was horrible. Bus conductors treating you like a school child, telling you off for not having your pass ready or the right change, people at work expecting you to be deferent to them because they think you're a junior, doctors receptionists and shop assistants patronising you. It's horrible, there is very little you can do about it other than asserting yourself strongly. But it does pass eventually. Actually it often used to make me feel very sorry for younger people that they were treated so disrespectfully by older adults to.

And the vast majority of replies on here would have given me the rage!

CigarsofthePharoahs Sat 30-Apr-16 20:54:14

Yanbu op. Its frustrating because people judge you by their first look at you. I've had similar issues, mostly involving social events where I'm "put with people my own age" by the organiser. I had to point out that I was close to 30 at the time and the fifteen and sixteen year olds she wanted to seat me with were unlikely to want a fogey like me hanging around. It's happened more than once.
I've had backhanded comments about my parenting, mostly from people who thought I was much younger. For some reason it's ok to slag off a young mum but not and old one?!? Also there seems to be a switch in some people's minds (not all thankfully, but some) where they see young = thick. It's insulting enough when you are 15, even worse when you're more than double that.
I thought I was past that now. I'm 35 and have had 2 years solid sleep deprivation from my youngest child. I thought I was getting haggard enough to look my age. Except no, I'm bloody ID'd in M&S to buy a bottle of Rosé! Had to rummage for my drivers licence and the assistant did not believe my DOB. She didn't come out and say she thought it was a fake, but she looked at it for a very long time. Perhaps it's because I've started using cocoa butter on my face!

BillSykesDog Sat 30-Apr-16 20:56:09

We probably WILL be glad of it in 10 years time though. When all our mates are wrinkly we will still look about 30.

Doesn't work like that sadly. It goes from looking like a teenager to looking your age very quickly once wrinkles set in.

EweAreHere Sat 30-Apr-16 20:57:35

That was me into my mid-30s. Let it go. You will miss it when it stops. x

CigarsofthePharoahs Sat 30-Apr-16 20:57:57

The secret of youthful looks is apparently linked to red hair!

gamerchick Sat 30-Apr-16 20:59:27

You mind in your 20s you don't in your 30s/40s and beyond.

That sounds patronising I know. I apparently look miles younger than I am and at 41 it makes my day. The last time I was id was when I was 26 and I was really annoyed by it.

You will care less in time but in the meantime perfect your glare.

HelsBels3000 Sat 30-Apr-16 21:03:18

Just carry some ID with you then? Problem solved?

ImNotThatGirl Sat 30-Apr-16 21:05:03

I don't think YABU at all. What people who are saying you are being U are missing is that people can be incredibly patronising if they think you're young. I'm experienced in my job but because I have young features, I get patronised and talked down to by clients.

BonitaFangita Sat 30-Apr-16 21:05:39

Many years ago I worked in a jewelers that did ear piercing.
A young woman came in to ask to have her ears pierced and as she only looked about 16/17 I asked her for ID. She was 30! blush

whattodowiththepoo Sat 30-Apr-16 21:11:20

YABU you are 28 you still don't understand.

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