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AIBU?

to think this mother was quite rude?

44 replies

Yellowsponge · 30/04/2016 19:02

There's a mum in DS's class that hates me. About 3 years ago she accosted me at the local park after school shouting that my DS was bullying hers (this was whilst both our DS's were off playing together BTW). I asked what had been going on and she said DS had pushed her DS over at school. I apologised and explained that I wasn't aware that that had happened but I would speak to the school the next day. She carried on shouting that that wasn't good enough, she wanted him punished that day by me. By this point she was pretty much screaming and everybody was looking. I told her that I wasn't willing to carry on the conversation and we would sort it through the school. She took it upon herself to then go up to my DS and scream in his face that he was a nasty boy and to stay away from her DS. Anyway, long story short I told her to stay away from my child, left the park and spoke to class teacher the next day. They weren't aware of any issues, said the boys all played rough and spoke to the mum about the procedure for concerns with her DS.

To this day she still ignores me. Fine by me. However, here's my AIBU. DS had his birthday party today and she dropped her DS off, walked straight past me without so much as a "hello" and off she went. Then at the end of the party I went up to her and her DS, gave him his party bag and said hi to her. She completely blanked me! Got her DS's coat and off they went. AIBU to think that you bloody well thank the host of a party your child has just been to?! I really don't understand why she has such a big issue with me! I shouldn't let it bother me really but it has. After the way she spoke to me and my DS i should be the one ignoring her surely?

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Gide · 30/04/2016 19:05

I would have whispered 'rude fucking bitch', making sure the DS couldn't hear. What a rude cow!

DeadGood · 30/04/2016 19:06

YANBU

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/04/2016 19:08

Yanbu, but just leave it. Life's too short.

blondieblondie · 30/04/2016 19:10

She's rude and childish. I wouldn't break breath to her again.

dylsmimi · 30/04/2016 19:11

Next time don't invite him to the party - if she's not talking to you she can't query why.
Yes she was rude but don't let it spoil your weekend or overshadow your ds birthday

MadamDeathstare · 30/04/2016 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiddleClassProblem · 30/04/2016 19:14

YANBU, she sounds like hard work. Imagine being her dp

UpsiLondoes · 30/04/2016 19:15

I would tell her that given she can't even pretend to be polite to you in front of the children, you have no choice but to leave her child from your future events. And emphasise it's a shame as her child is lovely, but you will not tolerate her rudeness.

Friolero · 30/04/2016 19:17

YANBU, she sounds very rude. Not sure why her child has come to the party if she feels that way.

I'd say what Upsi suggested.

MiddleClassProblem · 30/04/2016 19:21

Oh no, don't let the kid suffer. Just crack on like you're doing and if needs be talk to her about it but it probably won't get you anywhere

Yellowsponge · 30/04/2016 19:21

Her DS actually told mine that she had said no he can't come to the party but he kept pleading with her so she said he could come, just this once! How very nice of her!

I wouldn't not invite her DS, she wouldn't let her DS invite mine to his party this year even though he invited every other boy in the class and DS was so upset. I wouldn't do that to a child. It's his mother that's the problem, not him.

I'm also not going to say anything to her, I've bit my tongue for this long anyway. Just wanted to rant on here a bit. The children are just turning 8 now BTW, so around 5ish when the bullying accusations happened. We won't bring up that last month her DS got a detention for punching mine in the face for no reason

OP posts:

Lighteningirll · 30/04/2016 19:21

I think you're getting a lucky break why would you want her to talk to you? Please don't punish her child though

usual · 30/04/2016 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liinyo · 30/04/2016 19:22

Just plain stupid. Rise above it.

AlpacaPicnic · 30/04/2016 19:42

Good grief, how childish! Her, not you... You are a far better person than I would be she is by being adult and not excluding her child.

Poor boy, I imagine she overreacts like that all the time...

PunkrockerGirl · 30/04/2016 19:48

Rise above it. You owe her nothing, not even courtesy/time of day etc
I'm so glad the primary school playground politics are far behind me. Remember, all you have in common is that you have children the same age. You don't have to like each other or socialise and this is actually a very short phase in your child's life.

She sounds awful. I remember some really grim playground mums and their equally horrible children. I know I'll be flamed for that but meh, that's how it was

CombineBananaFister · 30/04/2016 19:54

Yanbu - how can she take the moral highground if she was happy to send her Ds to a party of the child thta is supposedly bully hers - you just wouldn't. Either don't let him go or say thankyou with good grace - idiot.

memyselfandaye · 30/04/2016 19:54

Three years? Bitch can hold a grudge!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/04/2016 20:01

To be honest, she sounds like the bully and what a poor example to set for her son.

People like this thrive on drama so, although tempting to say something, I would bite my tongue and avoid another showdown with her.

Scholes34 · 30/04/2016 20:09

I've something similar with the mum of a friend of DS1 who started blanking me five years ago. No idea why at all, so it must have been something really bad that I've erased from my memory. I was quite hurt, but I wasn't close enough to her that it really impacted on me. In the meantime, we've been in social situations where she's had to speak to me and I've quite enjoyed blanking her back. I find it quite funny that two women in their 50s would behave like this!

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 30/04/2016 20:36

She sounds absolutely pathetic and childish. Not to mention rude! I can't believe she is still acting like that after all this time, and I bet her son is more mature than she is! She's setting a bad example to him, mind.

Yes she should have thanked you and acknowledged you. I suppose the only thing she did right was to let her DS go to your DS's party, as she could have stopped him from going when he really wanted to. That would have been really low of her. And on the same note you still invited his friend to the party- does she invite your DS to her DS's parties?

It's quite clear that you're trying to put that incident behind you and move on. She clearly can't let go though and that's her problem not yours. Let her froth about it forever more. She's just being childish.

My DS went to his friend's party after school yesterday. A few months ago his friend who's party it was, pushed my DS over at school and he had a massive graze on his forehead. I was sad for DS but I knew school had sorted it out. I had to reason to have a word with his mum (or shout at her). Me and his mum met for the first time yesterday and were chatting away, and I thanked her for the invite and for a lovely party. DS got his friend a present and had a great time.

YouTheCat · 30/04/2016 20:41

Next year, have a smaller party with just a handful of close friends so you don't feel guilty for excluding her ds.

I think you did the right thing in inviting him this time though and also on not biting at her really bad mannered behaviour.

EweAreHere · 30/04/2016 20:51

OP, can I just say thank you for inviting the boy to the party and not punishing him for his parent's behaviour.

My lovely boy wasn't invited to a party today, a party that his entire football team was invited to, except for him. Why? Because his father is a petty, spiteful man who doesn't like my husband and is still resentful over our son leaving to play for another team when he was all of 5 years old. They all play again together now, (they're 9 now), but he can't get past it. So my poor boy, who is kind to everybody, was left off his son's party list. A distinct lack of class on their part.

Luckily he's rolled with it and managed to shrug it off. I'm so proud of him, but sad, too. So thank YOU for doing the right thing for a child no matter how you feel about their parent(s).

ghostspirit · 30/04/2016 21:24

omg how silly of her. so the kids are over it are friends still play etc. but shes still carrying it on. shes got some growing up to do....

ignore op let her get on with it just do right thing by your child

Yellowsponge · 01/05/2016 17:11

EweAreHere That's so awful for your little boy. My DS has been in that position too and it's heartbreaking. I would never ever take my issue with an adult out on a child. Ever.

DS and this boy play together all the time. They are friends. When DS tries to talk to him in the playground after school, his mum pulls him away. It's pathetic.

memyselfandaye you made me laugh. Bitch can indeed hold a grudge

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