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AIBU in assuming I shouldn't need to keep a constant eye on a 7 y/o?

(21 Posts)
Joolsy Sat 30-Apr-16 14:24:08

DD's friend comes over once a week. She's always touching things she shouldn't be, I assume just out of curiosity but I still think it's rather rude. She says things like "I want some crisps" then goes to get a packet - obviously I stop her and get her to ask politely. She came round yesterday and somehow managed to bend one of our keys (I assume she was trying to force it into the wrong keyhole), tipped over a huge bucket of water in the garden (she'd disappeared while my DDs were playing, I found her in our garden where they'd been previously watering plants) and this morning I found OH's razor in the bathroom with strands of long hair in it! Maybe we should have put it out of her reach but I know my DD would never dream of doing that in someone else's house. She also knows never to touch a razor. I always check on DD & her friends when they're at our house but I feel this girl just wants to rebel and do things she knows she's not allowed to. The way I feel now I don't want her round for a while & I'm thinking of saying something to her mum but we are good friends.

MegBusset Sat 30-Apr-16 14:31:40

Depends entirely on the 7yo! DS2 is 7 today and very reliable, can be trusted to play upstairs or outside and will ask before doing/touching anything new.

His best friend seems to have a death wish, runs out into roads without looking, picks up EVERYTHING he sees (this has included broken glass from the pavement on the way home, sharp kitchen knife out of the dishwasher, etc) with a 'What's this?' and has form for things like cutting sibling's hair

He is a very sweet and loving kid but I swear it's a miracle he's made it through seven years alive. I keep a VERY close eye/ear when he's round!

WorraLiberty Sat 30-Apr-16 14:33:43

I think you should say something to her Mum, particularly about the razor.

As for the rest of it, I must admit I wouldn't be wanting her around too often either.

Joolsy Sat 30-Apr-16 14:34:13

OMG Meg, this child is exactly as you've described! I was literally a nervous wreck after she left yesterday

Jackie0 Sat 30-Apr-16 14:35:24

Honestly I wouldn't have her round again.
You can't watch every move she makes and if she is in the bathroom she's behind a closed door.
I just wouldn't take the risk of her hurting herself while in your house.

honkinghaddock Sat 30-Apr-16 14:38:26

Ds needs watching constantly. He has sn. He doesn't go anywhere without me in tow or without those he is with able to give the same level of supervision.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 30-Apr-16 15:29:52

I knew a girl like this, and did not have her around for a long while, until she was a few years older.

Joolsy Sun 01-May-16 07:50:42

Thanks all, I think we'll have a break from said child for a while....

I texted my friend (her mum) about the razor so hopefully she will have a word with her

Juanbablo Sun 01-May-16 08:19:07

She sounds like hard work. I don't have to watch my 8 and 6 year olds all the time. They have done a few dodgy things in their time but it's been very rare.

I've not have a child over like that though. I have a few who ask for things constantly but they don't just take.

trashcanjunkie Sun 01-May-16 09:50:59

We have a visitor who does this. He's twelve. Literally can't walk past certain things without bloody picking them up and fiddling about with them, then being all surprised when they break, snap etc. Just last week his folks got the results of some testing at school, and turns out his working memory is slower than what would be normally expected. Whatever that means, I think it impacts, and his impulse control seems out of wack. He's very sweet but bloody hard work....

Aeroflotgirl Sun 01-May-16 10:04:35

No, I don't even have to watch my 4 and 9 year old all the time, dd 9 has ASD but she can have periods on her own playing with her Kindle, painting or doing art and craft, and I know her well enough that she will be safe.

Blackheart2016 Sun 01-May-16 10:12:05

It depends on the child doesn't it? My dc need constant supervision especially my eldest (sn) as if they are unusually quiet they are doing something like getting all the bathroom products out and making a big messy concoction. I don't think they would help themselves to food in other people's homes though or even ask. That's rude.

Blackheart2016 Sun 01-May-16 10:14:11

Yes my ds has to touch everything and open bags and drawers leaving a trail of mess behind him.

PastaLaFeasta Sun 01-May-16 10:14:33

My almost six year old is like this - no impulse control and has to touch everything even if told not to, can't stop fiddling - her teachers have asked for an observation by some SEN specialist from the LA. It looks like ADHD. It's always been obvious that's she's harder work than other kids, friends with kids thought they'd baby/toddler proofed but it wasn't enough for my eldest. Thankfully she's not had play dates without a parent with her so far. And her after school activities are brilliant with her.

Birdsgottafly Sun 01-May-16 10:16:52

If she's a close friend, then you should be able to mention the razor, at their age, people aren't necessarily going to have a child proof house, unless there's younger siblings.

If you aren't told, you don't know how your child behaves when they're away from you.

Kitsandkids Sun 01-May-16 10:35:45

My 7 year old is a definite 'fiddler' with anything he finds. He can be hard work and is generally worse when he thinks he can get away with it I.e. when I'm not in the room. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't take food though as he knows he's not allowed to do that at home and doesn't even ask.

If he was a little horror at someone else's house I would definitely like to know so that I could talk to him, apologise, etc. I also probably wouldn't let him to anyone else's house for a good while.

honkinghaddock Sun 01-May-16 10:46:37

Ds is into everything as much as a toddler is but can reach things much higher. We only do short visits to other houses unless they have been thoroughly ds proofed, with us doing an extra sweep when we arrive.

FinallyHere Sun 01-May-16 10:57:36

Its a favourite family story that if they told my elder (by six years) sister to just 'look with your eyes' she would. Then I came along....

GingerIvy Sun 01-May-16 11:11:16

My children are like this. Both of them. One has ASD/ADHD, the other has ASD but also has working memory problems. They both struggle with impulse control. Some things are literally like a fish hook pulling on the brain - dragging their attention to it and hanging on. They require close supervision (which is why sometimes I'm plodding about on MN, as I'm trying to allow them to play independently but still have to monitor them so can't be about the house doing other things).

It's possible that razors are put somewhere that the child hasn't seen them at home, so this was a new thing and she hasn't been told that she can't touch them (because they're hidden, so the discussion hasn't been had).

Wantagoodname Sun 01-May-16 11:56:06

Can't leave my 7 year old unattended she also has no impulse control or danger awareness but I wouldn't let her go on a play date alone. She does have SEN though maybe this child has undiagnosed needs

missymayhemsmum Sun 01-May-16 19:30:52

Some 7 year olds are like that, be grateful yours isn't!
If she's coming round again, do a quick scan round for dangers as you would for a younger child, and be explicit as to house rules;- eg ask if you want something, don't take anything apart, don't eat any plants in the garden without asking first, don't go out of the garden and please leave my keys alone!
And have eyes in the back of your head

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