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To ask how you made new friends when moving to a new city?

(25 Posts)
moussakka Fri 29-Apr-16 21:06:50

Ok, so now MNers have helped me with my first dilemma (wine, thanks grin), does anyone have any advice about my second? Recently moved back to UK from abroad, and to a new city where I know just one person. I actually feel quite out of touch with the UK. I work from home so don't have the opportunity to meet people through my job. Has anyone else ever been in this position, and if so, how did you develop a new social circle? If anyone has experience of same thing, any thoughts or suggestions would be much appreciated!

Outfoxed Fri 29-Apr-16 21:09:17

I'm about to be in this position in a few months so I can't help you but I'm shamelessly lurking waiting for responses!

5BlueHydrangea Fri 29-Apr-16 21:11:49

Do you have any children? Their school and other activities make it much easier to get to know people.
Join a church? Easy to start integrating into a community that way. Quite likely to find people with similar interests if you get involved a little.

Go to the library. They often have details of local clubs/groups and you may find something of interest to join and get to know people that way.

ValancyJane Fri 29-Apr-16 21:12:59

One of my friends found a meet up group for her city joined she moved and found it really good for getting her out of the house and meeting people. I think she still sees quite a lot of them, and is in a relationship with a guy she met there. Good luck!

Smart move on the wine smile

ValancyJane Fri 29-Apr-16 21:13:59

Sorry appalling English there, trying to multitask while settling baby! I meant she joined it when she moved.

FreckledLeopard Fri 29-Apr-16 21:15:10

I moved to a new city and joined the local MN book club which was a good way of meeting people.

How about sports? Running club maybe? Yoga?

chickenowner Fri 29-Apr-16 21:16:23

www.meetup.com

I met lots of lovely friends, and my DP!

Wanderingwondering Fri 29-Apr-16 21:16:26

Generally through sport-do you like any team sports? Or join a running/climbing/cycling/walking club?
I've done this 3 times over and always made friends quickly through sport.

If that's not your thing then maybe some sort of volunteering? I used to go and walk the dogs at the local dogs home and met a few people that way. Or guide/scout groups always need helpers.

Evening classes?

moussakka Fri 29-Apr-16 21:16:43

Thanks 5blue and Valancy! I'm actually single, non-religious and with no kids grin So, not a chance to meet other mums or anything like that unfortunately! Although joining clubs etc. is a good idea. I've joined a few meetup groups but haven't attended anything yet. The story about your friend is very encouraging valancy!! I guess I'm just feeling a bit intimidated by it all, and having re-entry shock being back in the UK!

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar Fri 29-Apr-16 21:16:56

Perhaps join an evening class, gym or a group related to a hobby you have or would like to take up?

ghostyslovesheep Fri 29-Apr-16 21:18:10

local Meet Up groups

moussakka Fri 29-Apr-16 21:20:05

Thanks freckled and chicken! I'm feeling emboldened to go to an event!

freckled and wandering I'm a keen runner but never been a member of a group. I'm in a city so I guess there must be some in my area. Cheers for the suggestion!

outfoxed hope the move goes well!

moussakka Fri 29-Apr-16 21:23:28

Wandering I've actually started volunteering recently as well, which has been nice to get out and meet people a bit. I will continue with it, although there's not really anyone there in my age group/ with lots in common, so don't see it extending into socialising outside of that. I'm sure there are other things going on though, I reckon it's worth seeking out other stuff too.

Kayakinggirl86 Fri 29-Apr-16 21:30:47

I spent a number of years bouncing from one area to another. First thing I always did was find a guide group to help at. It gave me a commitment. Also tried to join sports groups however this was often harder as found a few quite cliquey. Just go and join things talk to people.

moussakka Fri 29-Apr-16 21:34:23

Thanks Kayakinggirl.. This has been me actually, I've moved about quite a bit... and feeling slightly at sea actually! Have never joined a sports group before but will give it a go and see how it goes. Has been a few weeks and actually feeling a bit apprehensive about putting myself out there. Suppose I just have to take the plunge!

sphinxster Fri 29-Apr-16 21:40:46

We've moved around a lot in the last 15 years or so. I find it difficult making new friends as I'm a bit of an introvert.

I've mostly made friends through classes: yoga, languages, courses. So there's a common interest to start a conversation.

Good luck, I hope you're settling in.

Wanderingwondering Fri 29-Apr-16 21:58:45

Good luck-I must admit the dog walking people never moved beyond the acquaintances catergory but you never know!
I reckon the running club is your best bet. Mine is super friendly and always has social stuff going on as well as club runs and races.

Wanderingwondering Fri 29-Apr-16 21:59:22

Catergory?? Category. Sorry!

catwithflowers Fri 29-Apr-16 21:59:51

Hi moussakka

I was in the same position as you almost 5 years ago, moved back to UK from abroad knowing no one except my parents and brother. I asked on mumsnet about advice regarding schools and a lovely mumsnetter replied. We chatted on here for a while then when I actually moved, we met up for coffee. We are now really good friends and do lots of fun stuff together.

The power of mumsnet. (And thank you Mrs2C, if you read this, for being such a star flowers)

Xmasbaby11 Fri 29-Apr-16 22:03:03

Mostly through work tbh. II've moved a lot on my own. Latest one 8 years ago. I've made countless friends through work. Only one or two others really - through nct.

TheOddity Fri 29-Apr-16 22:05:38

I would join something that is 'you' anyway, so for me that was a music band, for you it might be sport or something arty. But to find friends it's good to hang out where the interests are your interests. I.e. If you like reading, a book club, languages, then a language class etc.

RainbowFlower24 Fri 29-Apr-16 22:11:33

I moved country when I was in my late 20s. I searched professional websites like LinkedIn for women my age in my town and said - I'm new, can you recommend any clubs, bars, sports in new town. Some ignored, some answered and a few said sure lets meet up. I'm friends with some still now a decade later.

exexpat Fri 29-Apr-16 22:11:47

I moved back to the city I grew up in nine years ago, aged nearly 40, 20 years after I left. I only had one school friend left here, so basically had to start from scratch.

The first friends I made were through my children's schools/nurseries, but apart from that, I made some good friends through a part-time university course (group of about 20 and the course lasted two years, so we really got to know each other), and also met lots of people through volunteering with several different organisations, through twitter (connecting with people tweeting about local issues), and through the MN book group (*waves at freckledleopard*). If there isn't a suitable local book group, or group for an interest you have, then start one.

Oh, and it may sound obvious, but if anyone you know from elsewhere has friends locally, ask for an introduction. One of my closest friends here was in an NCT class with my SiL in another part of the country before moving here.

PartyShit Fri 29-Apr-16 22:12:52

I agree with TheOddity.

I moved to a new place that is totally different to where I'm from. I tried really hard to fit in and attended popular groups, work do's and things like that but it's a very close-knit place that didn't exactly welcome newcomers. So in the end I just did things I wanted to do, random as heck things like live art classes, diving, gigs, and eventually met 2 or 3 friends that I enjoy being around. Definitely just do things that are very you and, in theory, that should lead to you meeting likeminded ppl!

Whizbang Sat 30-Apr-16 11:55:29

Hi Mossakka

I suggest MeetUp.com, same as ghosty and chickenlover above....it lets you meet nice peeps with shared interests in your area- could just be a cinema trip right through to a group that likes white water rafting. V friendly and an ace way to make new friends.

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