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AIBU to be annoyed with DP

(25 Posts)
Mariqui Fri 29-Apr-16 18:23:40

DP missed a delivery a couple of weeks ago, just as we were moving house. He can't go to pick it up himself because the postal centre is far away and he can't drive due to his disabilities. It needs to be picked up on Saturday, otherwise it will be returned to sender.

AIBU to be annoyed that he has now reminded me about twenty five times?! When I said that I was remembering he said that he was very stressed out because Saturday is the last day, like it was some majorly important thing. It's a fucking Meerkat toy. Aaaaargh. AIBU, should I just let it slide and ignore, or is he being completely annoying?! I can't quite tell after such a ridiculous week!

MLGs Fri 29-Apr-16 18:27:13

Can't he do the redelivery thing on line? I never go to the sorting office.

Mariqui Fri 29-Apr-16 18:30:11

No unfortunately not because we don't live at that address anymore

Custardo Fri 29-Apr-16 18:32:02

yeah I get why your pissed ouff - tell him to shut the fuck up for a bit

hope that helps

Arfarfanarf Fri 29-Apr-16 18:38:45

Are you supposed to go and pick it up?

Mariqui Fri 29-Apr-16 18:47:07

Haha thanks Custardo.

Arfarfanarf - yes!

Arfarfanarf Fri 29-Apr-16 18:53:08

Is he feeling frustrated because he is dependant on someone else doing simple things?
I only ask because due to the nature of my disabilities there are things i cant do and it is so frustrating to not be able to do stuff and to know that whether you will or will not get what you want or feel you need depends on whether another person feels like it. I can be a bit of a pain in the arse about it blush so i am on both your sides grin

Tell him that he needs to stop going on about it. That you will collect it tomorrow. You havent forgotten and you are going to do it. But that he's driving you up the bloody wall right now grin

Mariqui Fri 29-Apr-16 18:59:36

Definitely Arfarfanarf. That is probably our most frequent issue.

I do completely get that it would be frustrating and know I wouldn't cope with it half as well as he does. But being reminded to do something over and over is so annoying!

MiffleTheIntrovert Fri 29-Apr-16 19:02:41

Bit harsh just telling him to fuck off.

It's very frustrating having to rely on other people for stuff like this. Possibly more frustrating than being reminded about it. Could he get a taxi or other form of transport to get it himself?

Is there a particular reason why you haven't been able to collect it in the last few weeks? I

GeorgeTheThird Fri 29-Apr-16 19:03:18

It sounds like a recurring issue. Can you agree a system, a blackboard in the kitchen or a shopping list pad or calendar or something? Then he knows you'll remember, but he doesn't keep going on about it?

TrinityForce Fri 29-Apr-16 19:04:52

Probably because they've just moved house and she's busy, miffle. My post collection place is only open 9-5 and who the hell can make it in that time? So if she works she's only really had 1 saturday to actually collect it.

MiffleTheIntrovert Fri 29-Apr-16 19:07:09

The opening hours are annoying, I totally agree with that.

Another of my pet hates is missing a parcel delivery as I can't get to the door in time. It's so frustrating. If I missed the door and then had to rely on DH for a few weeks to collect something, think I would cancel the damn thing!

Mariqui Fri 29-Apr-16 19:10:12

I wouldn't tell him to fuck off. Yes, on the first Saturday we were unpacking. The rest of the time I've been at work. And I always said I'd get in this Saturday, so it's not like I said I would do something and didn't.

Good idea George, we do that for householdy things already but I hadn't thought of adding general errands. Will definitely do that

Mariqui Fri 29-Apr-16 19:13:34

My DP has exactly the same issue with getting to the door Miffle. I do understand where you're coming from and if I could have collected it already I would

thestarryeyedsurprise Fri 29-Apr-16 19:15:03

He's stressing about a meerkat toy?!

Arfarfanarf Fri 29-Apr-16 19:21:31

It's probably not actually about the toy itself.

WellErrr Fri 29-Apr-16 19:27:57

I think YABVU.

It doesn't matter what it is. It's his and it's important to him. Whether it's a 'fucking meerkat toy' or not.
He can't get it himself as he's disabled. He's anxious about losing it.

Try a bit of bloody empathy. What if it was YOUR important item?

Mariqui Fri 29-Apr-16 19:29:40

Ok WellErr.

I can have empathy and be frustrated by being reminded over and over again.

SummerHouse Fri 29-Apr-16 19:34:11

I think he is just stressed out. Why not write it on a blackboard, or on a note. "DP, please don't worry. I promised you I will get your meerkat and I will. Cross it off your list of things to worry about. I have this covered. Love you. X"

SummerHouse Fri 29-Apr-16 19:35:03

P.s yanbu

Mariqui Fri 29-Apr-16 19:56:09

We've just had a chat.

As Arf and Summer suggested, it's not actually about the toy. Which to be fair I probably would have picked up on in any normal week.

I have apologised for getting annoyed and he has apologised for nagging.

Thank you for the thoughts and advice - we are getting in a new blackboard!

Footle Fri 29-Apr-16 20:14:02

That is a happy ending for him, you and the meerkat.

SummerHouse Fri 29-Apr-16 22:07:51


MiffleTheIntrovert Sat 30-Apr-16 10:07:53

Well I'm just coming back to say how nice it is to see "nagging" being used to describe male behaviour rather than just the usual of it being used to shut women up - good work OP grinwink

Mariqui Sat 30-Apr-16 21:58:45

Haha Miffle - it definitely goes both ways!!

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