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to be able to eat my lunch without comments at work?

(145 Posts)
Lunch123 Fri 29-Apr-16 17:12:36

I am getting really fed up lately with my line managers comments about what I eat.

She is constantly criticising no matter what I eat. I usually have salads most days. She criticises the repetitiveness of what I eat and burst out with laughter yesterday because I was eating a bag of salad leaves. I have tried eating away from my desk but we do not have have facilities because of construction work taking place. Sometimes I have to work through my lunch too so eat at my desk.

If I eat chocolate or something sweet she takes much pride in pointing it out and then saying I am not sharing it. She doesn't share anything sweet that she has.

Worst bit is that she is also HR. She is very friendly with people in HR higher too so I can't pursue this. I have seen another complaint about her quashed because of her connections.

The weather has been so bad lately so can't eat outside either. Her comment are getting worse and I am not sure what to do or how to handle it.

Girliefriendlikesflowers Fri 29-Apr-16 17:16:36

Tell her to stop it?? I think I would be quite blunt and say something along the lines of "you seem overly invested in what I eat, its very annoying - please stop commenting and leave me alone"

My guess is she enjoys winding you up for some reason.

MapMyMum Fri 29-Apr-16 17:17:13

Im not great with wording things like this but no YANBU. Hopefully someone else comes up with a good way of telling her to pee off without getting into trouble!!

ImperialBlether Fri 29-Apr-16 17:17:38

That would drive me nuts! I think my response would be to snap something to shut her up, like, "If you don't stop criticising my lunch I will have to report you." Could you put headphones on while you have your lunch and manage not to look at her?

ImperialBlether Fri 29-Apr-16 17:18:24

I think you've got to be careful to say something that, if she repeats it, sounds absolutely reasonable and places her firmly in the wrong.

WorraLiberty Fri 29-Apr-16 17:19:18

You don't need to 'pursue' it. You just need to have a friendly but firm word with her.

Say something like, "Oh please stop commenting on my food. It really gets on my nerves/puts me off eating it/whatever reason".

See if that works and if it doesn't, try ignoring her.

We all have to work with annoying people at times.

QueenCuntyFlippers Fri 29-Apr-16 17:19:43

Yes, as the PP said.

In gets right on my wick people commenting on my food.
My hmm face and "it's a good job you're not eating it then" comment usually does it.

She sounds like an arse

WorraLiberty Fri 29-Apr-16 17:20:28

I get that it's annoying, but reporting someone for criticising your lunch?

Really? confused

NoCapes Fri 29-Apr-16 17:21:08

"Imnot sure why you're so interested in what I eat but i actually find your constant comments very rude. Stop please"

AttitcusFinchIsMyFather Fri 29-Apr-16 17:21:24

A simple head tilt and "did you mean to be so rude?" should suffice.

ImperialBlether Fri 29-Apr-16 17:22:15

Yes, Worral, if the person doing it is intimidating and stopping you from enjoying your break. She has the right to a break.

CombineBananaFister Fri 29-Apr-16 17:23:51

Why would she give a shit you're eating salad or sweets? she sounds unhinged, it's such an odd thing to criticise or is their some element of weight/competitive dieting going on. Personally I would say something to her but will it just cause you more grief in the longrun?
Its amazing to me that these people manage to keep their jobs when they are clearly so unsuited for the position, she's hardly a people person by the sounds of it yet works in HR.
Yanbu - take in some chocolates but lick a few first before you give them to her wink

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Fri 29-Apr-16 17:25:05

Id catch her eye and eat like a firty fucking amimal

Mouth open, loud chomping, food falling out, dirty face.

Then wink and offer her some

PhoebeMcPeePee Fri 29-Apr-16 17:25:24

I would start taking a lunch break & if she queries it tell her it's the only way you get to eat with a running commentary. But PA but she sounds pretty thick skinned so probably wouldn't even notice grin

Pinkheart5915 Fri 29-Apr-16 17:25:52

What is her problem? Clearly has a very dull life and your lunch brightens her day.

Just say to her I don't like your constant comments on my lunch please stop doing it.
Or do the same to her every time she eats, she will soon learn it's not nice.

ImperialBlether Fri 29-Apr-16 17:27:02

Is there a weight difference between you?

RunswickBay Fri 29-Apr-16 17:27:11

Something like a breezy 'gosh why are you so fascinated by my lunch' should embarrass her enough to stop.

Unless you've tried that already......

Lunch123 Fri 29-Apr-16 17:27:25

some element of weight/competitive dieting

She is trying to lose weight so maybe extra sensitive. I don't respond to her comments in the hope that will stop her

Lunch123 Fri 29-Apr-16 17:28:09

Is there a weight difference between you?

She is morbidly obese and I am size 10

WorraLiberty Fri 29-Apr-16 17:30:04

Well you need to start responding (politely but firmly) to her comments, before you even consider taking it higher imo.

AddToBasket Fri 29-Apr-16 17:30:42

How annoying. This would drive me nuts.

Unfortunately, you need to tell her straight that it is not ok to comment on everything you eat. She won't stop until you are blunt with her .

PrawnSandwich Fri 29-Apr-16 17:31:27

Sometimes telling a story can allow you to say what you wish you could say to them directly...
"Funny you should say that eating salads is boring. That's exactly what my friend friend told me once. I told her to stop being so rude and shut her cakehole"

80sMum Fri 29-Apr-16 17:31:41

YANBU. I would be sorely tempted to tell her to fuck off. But I only speak that way in my head, so would never actually say it!!

I like the PP's suggestion of headphones. Put those on, pretend you can't hear, then just ignore.

Ilovetorrentialrain Fri 29-Apr-16 17:32:40

Runswick has a great response.

I can not stand it when people comment on lunch like this in an office. Just why?

WindPowerRanger Fri 29-Apr-16 17:37:07

I agree that the response has to be reasonable when repeated to any higher ups.

I always think asking lots of questions is a good way to highlight the stupidity:
-why do you care?
- you always comment. Why?
-does it matter, given I'm eating it and you aren't?

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