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AIBU?

Another nursery one. How many accidents is normal?

76 replies

TheCatsMeow · 29/04/2016 14:57

DS is in nursery one day a week. I'm generally happy with them, they seem lovely and he always enjoys going. He is 8 months old and has just started crawling and he walks holding hands.

Now, DS is high needs. I'm under no delusions about that, he is into everything and very curious. But out of the last 5 weeks, he's been in the accident book 4 times.

The first time a child fell on him and scratched his neck. He had a big red mark.

The second time a child scratched his face. Again a big red mark.

The third time, this is the worst one. He had a black eye! Another child had hit him in the face with a toy, and then DS had scratched himself because he rubbed his eyes. It was swollen and looked very painful, poor DS was upset. I started to get suspicious here as this was the third time in three weeks, so I took pictures of it.

The fourth week nothing happened.

This week, I've found out another child has scratched DS on his eye!

AIBU to think they are clearly not supervising the babies properly?! I am really upset. But DS is my only baby and I am an only child, so is this normal kids stuff?

What would you do? I'm going to pick him up in a couple of hours and would like advice.

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bungmean · 29/04/2016 15:02

My youngest son ends up covered in bruises and bumps at least twice a week, and has done ever since he could walk (he's 20 months now). He has also gone through a biting phase (thankfully coming to an end), so he's led to injuries as well.

He's an incandescent ball of energy with a love of doing things and exploring things, and not much sense of danger.

He's usually got an accident report two or three times a week.

The nursery staff are attentive and excellent, but can't be everywhere at all times.

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Lonecatwithkitten · 29/04/2016 15:07

Some times they go through accident prone phases DD had to attend minor injuries twice in a month at about 10/11 months due to accidents at nursery. Once she toppled on to the toy farm and split open her eyebrow, the second time another child knocked her over and she hit her head on a door bolt on the way out to the garden.
The nursery staff were mortified, she stay at the nursery till she was 4 years 7months and never had another accident beyond small scratches etc.

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TheCatsMeow · 29/04/2016 15:09

He's an incandescent ball of energy with a love of doing things and exploring things, and not much sense of danger.

So is my DS. The staff seem lovely I'm just concerned about how often it is happening. However if it's a normal consequence of an inquisitive child, I will accept I am BU.

To be fair I was a very accident prone child (and I'm an accident prone adult) but these seem to be things children are doing to DS rather than DS falling over or something if you see what I mean?

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LillyBugg · 29/04/2016 15:09

But these aren't accidents are they? These are injuries from other children. Considering he's only in there one day a week that's pretty much equivalent to him being hurt every day but one out of a week. I think it's too many OP, I would be concerned.

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TheCatsMeow · 29/04/2016 15:11

That's what I'm thinking LillyBugg, it's that it's almost every time he's in and it's things being done to him. It seems a bit off.

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StarlingMurmuration · 29/04/2016 15:12

My DS goes to nursery four days a week and has had an accident form maybe six times since November. Four of those are from him being bitten by the resident biter, and I'm not especially happy about that and am going to arrange a meeting with the nursery manager if it happens again.

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Jackiebrambles · 29/04/2016 15:13

I think at the age they are, it's pretty difficult for them to prevent all accidents. Other kids waving toys around etc, they are bound to get bashed a bit. The nursery staff cant give the 1-1 attention that you need to prevent that sort of thing happening.

I imagine the room probably has older, maybe more boisterous babies in there too.

But if you are worried there's no harm in talking to the room leader.

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TheCatsMeow · 29/04/2016 15:14

They have up to 2, my son is one of the younger ones.

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Jackiebrambles · 29/04/2016 15:15

My son was probably bitten 5 times from ages 1-2. And scratched a couple of times too. He is in 4 days a week.

I hasten to add he was the biter twice.

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Jackiebrambles · 29/04/2016 15:16

I think it's reasonable to ask them to keep more of an eye on the littler ones, as he's clearly being bashed a bit!

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LillyBugg · 29/04/2016 15:17

For comparison, my son is also in a room up to age 2. He has been there since September and goes three days a week. I think he has had maybe 2 accidents? And both were him falling rather than hurt by another child.

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TheCatsMeow · 29/04/2016 15:18

I'll have a word and ask them to watch him a bit more.

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Lndnmummy · 29/04/2016 15:19

To me that sounds too much. They are babies and should be supervised at all times. There should not be room for babies hurting eachother in my opinion. My ds has gone through this at his previous nursery and in the end I moved him. He had been at his new nursery since August last year. In 9 mnths there has been one biggish incident and 3 scratches. That is what we had weekly at his last placeShock! To me it is a supervision issue. Trust your gut.

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Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 29/04/2016 15:23

Ex baby rm team leader here.
I came on to tell you accidents happen and staff have to legally log every tiny bump no matter how small so that's why it seem he is having lots of accidents. HOWEVER the incidents you describe are not normal baby bumps, I would not be impressed. At what age do the babies move to the toddler room? are there a lot of much older babies/ toddlers in the room?

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araiba · 29/04/2016 15:23

i think you need a nursery where individual babies are in protective individual cages so they cant interact and injure each other because thats the only way to stop them giving each other minor, accidental injuries

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TheCatsMeow · 29/04/2016 15:24

I should probably add that once when I was dropping DS off, I was settling him in and the girl popped out to get something. Suddenly I was in charge of 5 babies and had to try and stop them eating bits of paper and escaping, which I wasn't happy with.

I wouldn't have minded if I'd been asked but I didn't even realise until one got out the play area.

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RosieSW · 29/04/2016 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCatsMeow · 29/04/2016 15:25

Dinosaurs it's normally 18 months but they have to go upstairs so they have to mak site they can walk. I'm not sure how many others are there.

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Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 29/04/2016 15:25

Ok cross post. I would def ask to speak to the manager..

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TheCatsMeow · 29/04/2016 15:26

Are you satisfied with the staff/child ratio in the baby group? Is it being maintained at all times?

I don't think it is being maintained, as mentioned above. I think that might be the issue.

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RosieSW · 29/04/2016 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cjt110 · 29/04/2016 15:32

I can probably count on one had the number of accidents my son has had in his 14m at nursery.

I wouldn't class another kid hitting/scratching him as an accident - an accident is him falling and bumping his head IMO. I would ask the nursery what staffing ratio they have and also why this is happening regularly and what is being done to teach the other children not to hit your son/other children.

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MintSource · 29/04/2016 15:34

DS was in nursery full time from 11 months and did not have this sort of experience. He is in the 1-2 room now and doesn't have that rate of incidents.

Scratches are to be expected now and then but not every week if it's an 'attack' rather than an accident. The black eye thing would have made me very sad but I have been lamped on the head by a little tike with toy when collecting DS recently so I know how quickly it can happen.

On balance, I'd chat with your key person/room leader and just say you hoped he would not be featuring in the accident book quite so often and see what they say. If you are happy with the nursery otherwise then it could just be a blip.

I think the point about what age they move up (and whether there are some bigger babies in there being a bit heavy handed) is a good thing to look at. I think part of the 'I'm too big for this room' behaviour from one-year-olds is being more restless and impulsive so it could be that he's falling foul of that.

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ppeatfruit · 29/04/2016 15:35

As an ex EY teacher and CM there is NO WAY I would leave 'just walking' babies on their own. With more than one I would be there.

IMO this nursery sounds like it's understaffed.

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Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 29/04/2016 15:36

The adult child ratio (1:3 for babies) must be maintained at all times. It's there for a reason, to keep babies safe. I would be very concerned about that tbh.

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