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To dress 6 year old dd in a bridesmaid type dress to a wedding

(462 Posts)
Notthinkingclearly Fri 29-Apr-16 12:44:20

Dd is 6 and has always loved the beautiful frothy dresses in shops designed as bridesmaid dresses. We are going to a family wedding in a few weeks and I spotted a beautiful dress from john Lewis in a charity shop for £10. Very similar currently selling for £60. I bought her a cheap pink bollero cardigan to wear over the top. It is cream with a bow at the back. Now worried that I will offend the bride as I guess it was designed as a bridesmaid dress but I just thought it would be a chance for dd to wear a proper princess type dress.. I don't even know who she has as bridesmaids as I don't know her very well and would never have expected her to ask dd. Should I let dd wear the dress?

MTPurse Fri 29-Apr-16 12:46:45

If is a definite 'Bridesmaid' dress I would avoid it.

Could you ask the bride if it would be OK?

Or try to find a pretty dress that doesn't look too bridesmaid-y - on ebay, maybe? There should be lots of pretty party frocks that won't look like she's a bridesmaid but will still make her happy. And then she can wear the other dress to another special occasion - win-win for her.

YellowDinosaur Fri 29-Apr-16 12:46:56

I think it's only fine for your dd to wear this if it's totally different to her bridesmaids dresses. If it's similar I think this would be really inappropriate.

AnnieOnnieMouse Fri 29-Apr-16 12:47:08

I think it would be fine. She knows she's not a bridesmaid, and will enjoy her pretty dress.

TheNotoriousPMT Fri 29-Apr-16 12:47:34

She'd have to be a serious bridezilla to get upset by a 6 year old wearing a pretty dress. I wouldn't worry smile

LifeIsChaos Fri 29-Apr-16 12:48:19

No, definitely not. She's not a bridesmaid so don't dress her as one.

Someone dressed their child as a page boy at my wedding, everyone was confused and thought she was out of order.

LitteRedSparkle Fri 29-Apr-16 12:48:34

i think she would be a bridezilla too to object, however, it might be nice to just mention it to her (like you have here)

Mouseinahole Fri 29-Apr-16 12:49:06

As long as it is different from the bridesmaids' dresses it will be fine. Just ask the bride about colours.

sparepantsandtoothbrush Fri 29-Apr-16 12:49:43

I asked the same question years ago when I first joined mumsnet. It was my first AIBU and Im glad I'm thick skinned because I got an absolute bashing!

I can't see the problem myself but I did end up buying a different dress for DD which was less 'bridesmaidy'

neonrainbow Fri 29-Apr-16 12:50:01

I would ask the bride.

flowery Fri 29-Apr-16 12:50:12

I wouldn't. You might seem like one of those mothers I've heard tell of on MN threads who think their precious Araminta should have been a bridesmaid so dress her up as one anyway to make the point.

MangoBiscuit Fri 29-Apr-16 12:50:53

Don't all 6yo's pretty party dresses look kind of like bridesmaid dresses? I would possibly check with the bride that you weren't matching the colours, but I see no problem otherwise.

CandPthisyoufuckers Fri 29-Apr-16 12:51:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InQuiteAPickle Fri 29-Apr-16 12:51:09

It wouldn't bother me. At my wedding DH's cousin's DD (not a BM) had a very similar dress on to what my DD (BM) was wearing.

She just looked like a pretty little girl.

NeedACleverNN Fri 29-Apr-16 12:52:40

If it looks like the bridesmaids dress that no

If it looks nothing like it then yes

I've done a quick search on ebay, and found lots of lovely dresses that don't look bridesmaid-y and shouldn't break the bank either.


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superwormissuperstrong Fri 29-Apr-16 12:53:28

Is it white? I would let her have a dress like that but I would try to accessorise it down so it didn't look like she was a flower girl. (Or i was a disgruntled mum that wishes she had been picked as a flowergirl) by this I mean I wouldn't do a bolero cardigan but maybe a bright 'regular' cardigan, some bright sneaker/socks rather than pale Mary Jane shoes, hair in a regular girls style than over the top curls/bows and flowers.
Then if she wants to do the princess thing with the dress save that for a dressing up day at home, or her own birthday party or if a friend has a princess type party.

Link fail - sorry -


ProjectUniverse Fri 29-Apr-16 12:54:53

If I was the bride I wouldn't have a problem at all with that - so long as it was clear she wasn't a bridesmaid. I do think most people would simply see a little girl who wanted to dress fancy for a special occassion. Best bet would be to ask the bride.

civilfawlty Fri 29-Apr-16 12:55:02

Could you dye the dress, add to it to tone down the bridesmaidy-ness of it?

trixymalixy Fri 29-Apr-16 12:55:24

As long as it's a different colour to the bridesmaid then it should be fine.

Elle80 Fri 29-Apr-16 12:56:21

I wouldn't do it for my DDs, but equally if I was the bride it wouldn't bother me as such. I just think it would look a bit odd. Other guests might thing you are a bit weird.

ColdAndGloomy Fri 29-Apr-16 12:56:59

I agree with superworm - you can let her wear the dress but with accessories that show she's not a flower girl.

Notso Fri 29-Apr-16 12:57:04

I wouldn't but I know lots of people do.

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