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Card not arrived for dn bday.

(48 Posts)
martha16 Fri 29-Apr-16 12:08:08

A few weeks ago it was my nieces birthday. At the time I could only afford £10 and promised I would pay the rest when I could. My sister wasn't happy about this and I received some nasty messages.

My nephews birthday was on Tuesday. On Saturday I sent a card with £20 and £10 for my niece 2nd class because I literally had no other money to pay recorded etc and had a spare 2nd class stamp.

It hasn't turned up. And every single day Iv been getting messages saying how Iv let her dc down (they are 17&14).

I 150% sent it and fuming with being accused of not sending it! I don't know what to do! I can't afford to replace the £30 yet. I feel so bloody awful!!


FuckFaulknerILikeTheGruffalo Fri 29-Apr-16 12:17:11

Firstly, and bluntly, your sister sounds like a bitch. No one is entitled to presents, and being understanding that not everyone can just buy presents like money is no thing adds to the bitchiness. Sometimes, people forget, or can't afford it, or maybe they just think that birthdays are no big deal. Either way, she's not very endearing to be snarling.

Also, if her teenagers are upset (you haven't mentioned this) then more fool your sister for raising them to be upset over that when auntie isn't rich.

Secondly, I would be fuming with the post! I think it's a lesson to not send cash in cards - I never do in case it gets nicked. Rare I would have thought but it could happen.

FuckFaulknerILikeTheGruffalo Fri 29-Apr-16 12:19:36

typo - NOT being understanding that not everyone

ChocolateStash Fri 29-Apr-16 12:24:23

Sounds like your sister is using her dc's money for other things. That's probably why she is so rude about the delay. Fwiw I would give what you can afford, not what she is demanding or expecting. She had the children so it's her responsibility to pay for them.

cjt110 Fri 29-Apr-16 12:25:55

Firstly, and bluntly, your sister sounds like a bitch. In future just send a card.

QforCucumber Fri 29-Apr-16 12:27:38

promised I would pay the rest when I could

It's a gift not a bill?! Who set the rules that you have to give a certain amount?

EatShitDerek Fri 29-Apr-16 12:31:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou Fri 29-Apr-16 12:33:16

You are mad to put cash through the post.

And your sister is unreal. Grabby or what?

CodyKing Fri 29-Apr-16 12:33:22

Constant text - she can big off!!

Tell her you are no longer doing birthdays -

LifeIsChaos Fri 29-Apr-16 12:34:35

I wouldn't be bending over backwards for your sister! How rude!

I'd call the dc and see if they have received it, and apologise if they haven't. But it's high unlikely that it's just been lost in the post hmm she's pulling a fast one.

EatShitDerek Fri 29-Apr-16 12:36:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LifeIsChaos Fri 29-Apr-16 12:36:58

And text back to your sister.

'due to all this unpleasantness I think it would be better if we just did cards for birthdays from now on'

CandPthisyoufuckers Fri 29-Apr-16 12:39:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LitteRedSparkle Fri 29-Apr-16 12:40:08

you posted about this before, about your DN - seriously you need to tell them that you HAVE no money and cannot afford to give them this much

you DO NOT!!!! owe them money and if they get it they are lucky, and if not then tough!

Snoopysimaginaryfriend Fri 29-Apr-16 12:42:57

I'm with eatshitderek. They sound like a bunch of spoilt brats. Fuck them

sphinxster Fri 29-Apr-16 12:43:49

My eldest sister used to pull this sort of crap and I've never received a thank you from my nephew and niece for all the thoughtful gifts over the years.

They now get an animal sponsored in their name, trees planted via oxfam, or a some sort of charity donation.

Harsh, but I'm sick of their entitled crap.

bumblefeline Fri 29-Apr-16 12:45:48

Your sister would not be getting another penny off me if you were me ever!!!!

hazelangell Fri 29-Apr-16 12:48:55

YANBU If I told my brother I could only afford £10 for his kids birthday and he was shitty about it I'd decide not to send anything. As it so happens they always buy my son presents and I rarely buy theirs - at Christmas I tend to buy them a big tub of sweets to share, it's not much, a token gesture if you will, but I'm a single parent and at college (so I don't get income support/job seekers allowance). I'm barely scraping through the week as it is ... !

Purplestarssparkle Fri 29-Apr-16 12:51:28

My first thought to this weather the sister is lying and did get the card If I send money through the list I always get it recorded so it is covered in case of damage lost or indeed stolen but also they have it sign it it is impossible to prove either way but she does seem grappy

Roussette Fri 29-Apr-16 12:59:39

This isn't a debt you are repaying!

Tell her from now on you are not doing birthday presents for neices or nephews and you don't want any in return. Why do people put up with this sort of shit?

dairymilkmonster Fri 29-Apr-16 13:04:13

I feel for you so much!
Not only has the postal systm let you down but it seems really hard thst family expectations are a bit ridiculous. YOu should not be expected to provide gifts of great value, and definitely not if you cant afford it. I think £10 for a gift for a teenager is absolutely fine. You should not be giving more than that! Outrageous.

RaeSkywalker Fri 29-Apr-16 13:10:57

Wow, you sister sounds delightful!

The DC are older too- old enough to understand that by everyone can afford to give them £20 for their birthday.

If you want to give them money in future, I'd probably do an bank transfer to be on the safe side. But a token gesture or just sending a card is also fine. Did your nephew thank you for the £10 he did receive?

RaeSkywalker Fri 29-Apr-16 13:11:17

That should be "not everyone"

blublutoo Fri 29-Apr-16 13:17:58

Your sister sounds awful. What a bitch. Seriously, if you are that skint you shouldn't even be worried about sending your niece or nephew anything! At 17 I would have completely understood if my auntie couldn't afford to give me any money. Gifts are optional and should never be expected.

MooPointCowsOpinion Fri 29-Apr-16 13:18:39

I agree with pp. glitter bomb the cow and block her number.

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