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To ask DD's teacher why I am not invited on school trips.

(41 Posts)
crankyblob Fri 29-Apr-16 08:01:23

I have 4 DC in same school. All DC are doing very well, never been called in to discuss behaviour. Very positive reports etc.

I am a SAHM and naturally DC ask if I would go on school trip. I always offer and in 10 years have never been asked to go along. It is always the same parents who end up going and then a few others.

So I am starting to think it is me. I think I am presentable. I don't think I smell smile yet they always ask who wants to go and then pick other people.

So it has happened again and I am thinking of approaching the teacher to ask why!

is this a bad move? It is really bugging me,

AnyFucker Fri 29-Apr-16 08:03:46

No harm in asking

dementedpixie Fri 29-Apr-16 08:06:33

I go on school trips but had to be disclosure Scotland checked first (crb In the past). The school has to pay for them so if they don't need other helpers then they won't pay for extra checks). They don't like you going with your own child so I tend to go with trips involving other primary classes. Maybe it's because you have children on the trip that you don't get to go

ChilliMum Fri 29-Apr-16 08:06:37

I would ask I suspect it's something simple like the school already have crb for a group of parents and it's just easier to use them.

EstrellaCircusGirl Fri 29-Apr-16 08:06:42

Presumably you have to be DBS checked to go on school trips. Does the school have a bank of approved volunteer parents (and that's why the same ones are always called upon)? I'd just have a chat with one of your DC's teachers and ask if there's a process you can go through to be approved.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Fri 29-Apr-16 08:06:49

Maybe they've been dbs checked and you haven't?

dementedpixie Fri 29-Apr-16 08:07:05

You can always ask and see what they say

mouldycheesefan Fri 29-Apr-16 08:07:12

I have helped in a school trip and would never do it again unless they were desperate for helpers, the noise levels were horrendous and keeping tabs on 6 kids running around was not easy.
That said, some parents do enjoy it and want to go. At our school sometimes they ask for volunteers but sometimes they already have enough volunteers from the group of parent helpers who help in class. Those parents already know the kids, are in school regularly, see the teacher regularly for her to ask them etc. They may already be due to help in that day e.g if you always help with science on a Tuesday afternoon and the trip is on a Tuesday then teacher likely to ask if you could do the whole day and help in a trip.
This could be why the same ones get to go. They are already helping in school that day.
Do you help in school generally or is it just trips that interest you?

newmumwithquestions Fri 29-Apr-16 08:07:12

Ask. Maybe the other parents are DBS checked? (Do I mean DBS? I'm having a brain block).

exLtEveDallas Fri 29-Apr-16 08:07:19

Could be it that the other parents are DBS checked? Or that their children are particularly 'spirited' smile.

At DDs school it tends to be the PTA parents and Lunchtime Supervisor parents as they already hold enhanced DBS. Also invited is the mum of one lad who is a 'runner' and a mum whose DD is painfully shy and gets very upset in new places.

EstrellaCircusGirl Fri 29-Apr-16 08:07:19

Crossed post Chilli

NoMudNoLotus Fri 29-Apr-16 08:08:21

Often they draw names out of a hat - but they do like parents who they know they can rely on to safely manage their "group" of children .

I have seen so many parents go on trips because they want to be with their DC but have been no support or tried to actively look after their group of children on the trip - which is what they are there for.

mouldycheesefan Fri 29-Apr-16 08:09:00

Yes already DBS checked or already had the volunteer training is a key point. They don't DSB check at our school but you have to read a big booklet and sign it. You aren't allowed to be alone with a child though.

Kariana Fri 29-Apr-16 08:11:37

We used to try and rotate parents on school trips when they volunteered so I am surprised that you haven't been picked in ten years. There may be some factors though to take into account which we used to use when planning which parents to take.

We wouldn't take a parent who we knew smoked due to some bad experiences with this.
Parents who volunteered in school e.g. PTA, governors, those who came in to do reading tend to get priority
It was more or less first come first served so those who got the permission slip in early were more likely to get picked.
We never took parents of a child who we thought would be clingy or who's parents we perceived as being overprotective. I know this will probably get some horrendous responses but I'm afraid teachers do make these judgements - I'm sure we get it wrong sometimes but quite frankly we're under enough pressure as it is and have to try and preserve our sanity where we can.

It might be worth asking though. Could be that the teachers are all just assuming you've been on a previous class trip the year before and haven't realised you've been skipped over the years.

NoMudNoLotus Fri 29-Apr-16 08:12:15

To be honest a lot of parents want to just sign up for the "nice" stuff like trips - but never help with the more mundane things like helping to make backdrops for the school play.

I'm not a teacher but so many parents just want to have their cake and eat it.

crankyblob Fri 29-Apr-16 08:12:25

No dbs check needed with our school. I know this for a fact as I have one and asked a parent who goes frequently (this was my first thought) and she does not.

They openly invite all parents when the letters are released but they never get back to me. I then follow up to be told all places are taken.


crankyblob Fri 29-Apr-16 08:16:49

I don't smoke/drink, I always turn up for the parent sessions.

Maybe I am feeling a bit precious today and taking it personally. sad

Or maybe I should thank god I am not invited, it means I don't have one of those kids wink

PerspicaciaTick Fri 29-Apr-16 08:17:46

I'd put a note on the next slip saying you've been volunteering for 10years and are keeping your fingers crossed that you get lucky before your DCs outgrow the school.

Eastpoint Fri 29-Apr-16 08:21:01

If you do go on an all day outing take some painkillers with you and have an easy dinner planned the day before.

Jinglebells99 Fri 29-Apr-16 08:23:48

When my children were at primary school, I used to be asked to help on trips, but I was already a regular volunteer at the school as I used to go in and help with reading every week. I think going in and helping with other stuff, particularly mundane stuff like reading, means you get to know the children in the class and the teacher, and they get to know you.

annandale Fri 29-Apr-16 08:24:14

Interesting nomud, I would see a trip as hell and the backdrops as a lovely thing to do, so would probably volunteer for the trip assuming that no one else would be willing...

Witchend Fri 29-Apr-16 08:27:32

Do you help regularly? At the infants it goes do those who help regularly get priority. It makes sense as they know the children, and it's seen as a perk as those who put the effort in regularly also get the fun.
By juniors, although I think they still operate that priority, there are a lot fewer wanting to go, so it's more likely you'll get asked.

acasualobserver Fri 29-Apr-16 08:27:36

Be careful what you wish for.

NicknameUsed Fri 29-Apr-16 08:28:36

I am really surprised that DBS checks aren't required at your school if the same parents are used for each trip. The school doesn't require parents to be checked if they rotate them and use them once a term say, but if parents are regularly helping on trips several times a term they do need to be checked. It was the same when I was helping out at brownies.

When I was a parent governor I had to be checked out, and I didn't get to spend much time with the students. I needed a DBS check just to be on the premises during school hours.

honkinghaddock Fri 29-Apr-16 08:29:31

I was always invited to go with ds because he needed 1:1 so they could use his TA for other children.

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