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To seriously be considering basically throwing £20k down the toilet

(302 Posts)
ahunter90 Thu 28-Apr-16 20:52:52

Me and my DP of a year are due to go on the first leg of our RTW on Sunday. We are supposed to be going away for 13 months.

Past couple of weeks he has been getting more and more distant. We usually talk 2/3 times a day and usually Skype (we live 100 miles away from each other at the moment) and text during the day. Two weeks a go we would only text, now he won't even respond to texts and then noticed today (after getting a message notification from a mutual friend) that he has changed his relationship status to "single" on Facebook.

Called his Mum today and told her unless he contacted me today- I wouldn't be going away with him. Got to three hours later and still hadn't heard from him. Texted him and told him I would be calling the insurance company to see what could be done re money and cancelling if I didn't hear from him within the hour. Reply within 30 seconds to tell me he was driving over to "talk".

To cut a long story short- he has admitted to have been sleeping with someone else for the past 3 months and that he thinks he's falling for her but he thinks going away will help him get over her.

I'm devastated- a) because he has broken my heart and b) i've paid for 75% of the trip and it's taken me years to save up for it and I honestly don't think I could spend 12 months seeing his face everyday and it being the only friendly face around me.

I just don't know what to do.

RakeMeHomeCountryToads Thu 28-Apr-16 20:54:04

LTB and go on your own.

Eminybob Thu 28-Apr-16 20:54:37

sell his ticket and go on your own.

JJoy342 Thu 28-Apr-16 20:55:38

Cheeky bastard!

Can't you leave him behind? And try to reimburse his 25%

I wouldn't stay home though! SOD that, I'd 100% go

BestZebbie Thu 28-Apr-16 20:55:45

Go on your own.

ThinkPinkStink Thu 28-Apr-16 20:55:48

He's a shit.

I don't know much about RTW tickets, but is there a rule that you have to travel to the same places at the same times? If not, go, go alone, make the most of this exciting opportunity.

I'm sorry it's ended like this, but you deserve better!

GinAndColonic Thu 28-Apr-16 20:55:55

Travel but avoid him as much as you can.

RakeMeHomeCountryToads Thu 28-Apr-16 20:56:15

If you go alone you will see plenty of other friendly faces and it would be a fantastic experience.

Smellyrose Thu 28-Apr-16 20:56:18

Go on your own.

confusedandemployed Thu 28-Apr-16 20:56:20

Yeah fuck him. You paid, you go. What a dick.

emsyj Thu 28-Apr-16 20:56:53

Go on your own. Be brave, it will be hard at first but it is what you have saved for and planned. You will meet people as you travel anyway. You will be able to please nobody but yourself the entire trip.

Toffeecrispy Thu 28-Apr-16 20:57:26

I would go alone dont waste the money, also it could be fate and you could meet a nice guy on your journey.
Sorry this happened though flowers

Xmasbaby11 Thu 28-Apr-16 20:57:50

Go on your own. No question.

ahunter90 Thu 28-Apr-16 20:57:57

I can't go alone. I get back anxiety/panic attacks and wouldn't cope being in strange places on my own. So my choices are either let the money go or go with him.

CremeEggThief Thu 28-Apr-16 20:58:01

I agree with the others. Don't throw this chance away because of that cheating prick. I honestly believe you'll regret it for a long, long time if you don't go. Obviously don't let him go too!

SaltySeaBird Thu 28-Apr-16 20:58:40

Agree, go by yourself. What costs have you incurred?

He can probably change his flights and still go, follow a similar route but not exactly the same time so you aren't bumping into each other.

Griphook Thu 28-Apr-16 21:00:17

Leave him, he'll do it again not because of you, but because he's a git. Try to google and get money back from insurers if bit go on your own.

SayAGreatBigThankyou Thu 28-Apr-16 21:00:33

Can you go with another friend? I would rather lose the money than go with a twat.

karalime Thu 28-Apr-16 21:01:01

'What do you mean going away will help you get over her? You are not coming, I am doing this without you. Please do not contact me again'.

Please do not worry. I just spent a few weeks travelling in Thailand by myself and it was amazing.

Promise yourself you will try it for 2 weeks and if you hate it you can come home, by then you will have met so many people and you will be having the time of your life.

Griphook Thu 28-Apr-16 21:01:22

If they are your only choices then let the money go, cut him off now. 3 months he's been having an affair leave him

expatinscotland Thu 28-Apr-16 21:01:51

I'd try to find someone else to go.

blondieblondie Thu 28-Apr-16 21:02:41

What an ansolute arse. Surely you can't even consider going with him? This is a once in a lifetime trip, and you won't be able to forget what he has done. That will spoil your whole experience. Go without him and I bet you won't regret it. He wants to go to get over her, but you should go and get over him. Can't think of a better way actually. Good luck.

UterusUterusGhali Thu 28-Apr-16 21:03:01

Sell his ticket and see if you can get some councelling with the proceeds, although you haven't much time.

Where is the first leg to?

scarlets Thu 28-Apr-16 21:05:15

Go with him, but ditch him as soon as you have a bit of confidence in your travel/navigation skills.

Either that, or insist that because he's messed you around he must make good financially.

Donthate Thu 28-Apr-16 21:05:38

Go! You will regret it so much if you don't

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