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AIBU?

Missing music lessons - should school remind him?

30 replies

QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins · 28/04/2016 15:15

Genuinely want to know if IABU or not so I know what course of action to take.
DS is 7. Each week in school during the school day DS has a singing lesson which we pay extra for.
So he doesn’t miss out on the same academic lesson every week his singing lesson is at a different time/day each week.
DH & I remind him at the beginning of the school day when his music lesson is but on a couple of occasions he has missed it because he forgot.

If his lesson was the same time and day each week then I would expect him to remember.
As it changes every week I feel the school should take a certain amount of responsibility in reminding him he is having a singing lesson and making sure he goes.
AIBU?

OP posts:
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LemonBreeland · 28/04/2016 15:18

I think as he is 7, surely the class teacher should know when children are due to leave her class and say it's time for your music class miniqueen.

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TheClosingChapter · 28/04/2016 15:21

I teach music lessons in schools and for primary age I always go get the children if they haven't turned up or send the previous student off to get the next one. The kids don't remember the times and the class teachers have other things to get on with. It does mean that lessons may sometimes be 5 minutes shorter than they should be but at least they get a lesson!

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shouldwestayorshouldwego · 28/04/2016 15:23

Our music teacher calls the next child for the lesson. I think the singing teacher should be more proactive.

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Jojay · 28/04/2016 15:25

At our school the singing teacher would go and get him.

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Balletgirlmum · 28/04/2016 15:26

In my childrens junior school the children are collected & taken to their music lessons.

In year 7 they are expected to remember but dd is given assistance as she had organisation issues.

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MrsJayy · 28/04/2016 15:31

Music teacher should go for him surely a child of 7 wouldnt be clock watching in class id speak to the music teacher l about it.

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deepdarkwood · 28/04/2016 15:35

At primary, the teacher would try and come and find my dc if they didn't turn up (although tbf, s/he couldn't always (e.g games/lunch/break...). But it often meant they missed 10 mins plus of the lesson (5 mins while teacher waits, then 5 mins plus to go to the classroom and retrieve child)
We found one thing that helped was writing the time on their hands - if poss along with the lesson they'd be in at that time so they remembered vaguely when to remember (if that makes sense?)

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theworldaccordingtome · 28/04/2016 15:36

When I was at school (particularly secondary) I found certain teachers were quite negative about these music lessons and saw them as disruptive and complained about them being allowed to take place during "their" lesson time. I wouldn't expect a teacher like that to remind the child. At 7 I think it is worth mentioning to the music teacher to go and collect them.

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stealthsquiggle · 28/04/2016 15:39

At 7, the music teachers would go and fetch the DC in my DC's school. From Y3 the DC would be expected to remember, but the class teachers would have a note of all the music lessons and would remind them if they needed to. By Y5 they are expected to check for themselves and ask permission in advance to miss part of the relevant lesson.

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Osolea · 28/04/2016 15:54

It should be down to the singing teacher, not the class teacher. I'd be very unimpressed with a music teacher who just sat there doing nothing knowing that the child they were being paid to teach was down the corridor having forgotten while they just sat there doing nothing.

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Witchend · 28/04/2016 16:08

Ds had a similar problem with his violin lesson at 7yo. For him the lessons stayed the same time but was directly in the middle of a lesson. I did point out that, even for an adult you'd probably spend 15 minutes at the start of the lesson watching the clock waiting to go. Followed by suddenly discovering that the next 15 minutes had passed and you'd missed half. Certainly I'd set a reminder on my phone for me.
So I agreed with the music teacher that he would start his lesson just before afternoon registration and he wore a watch with the alarm on. He then never missed it.

However other music teachers (at the same school) had other methods. One would go and fetch them if they hadn't turned up by the end off the previous, and other had 5 minutes between each lesson and each child would go and call for the next.
Actually for ds I think it was an indication of how unused she was to teaching that age and ds is doing much better now with a different teacher.

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steppemum · 28/04/2016 16:10

at that age I would expect the previous pupil to go and collect the next one, or similar.
Yes I would expect school to help here.

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QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins · 28/04/2016 18:33

Thank you for all the replies, at least I know I'm not being precious. I've just had a look at the timetable for this week in regard to the previous singing pupil going to fetch the next previous singing pupil. They are in the same year but not the same class so they might not know where the pupil would be IYSWIM and I wouldn't expect the music teacher to know where each of her pupils were due to have lessons and the lessons are scheduled literally one after the one so no 5 minutes to find someone.

I do like the idea of writing on DS hand, he really would have no excuse then but now that I know that I am not being that unreasonable I might mention something to the school as well.

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LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 28/04/2016 18:36

At 7 it's not at all unreasonable for the school to remind the child.

In case it's useful though, my older dc kept doing this and we found a digital watch with an alarm a great help.

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musicinspring1 · 28/04/2016 18:36

Previous pupil collects next one at my junior school. They are aware of classes and year groups or find out pretty quickly.

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LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 28/04/2016 18:37

Another child in dc's class always has their lesson at the start of lunch.

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Hulababy · 28/04/2016 18:37

I teach in afternoons, but it is PPA cover and I have a different class each day. I have some children (all of this age) who have music lessons during their lesson with me. However, I have never been given a list nor told what times. The children make their own way to/from the lesson, with their instruments. If they don't go, the teacher comes and finds them.

I think it needs to be down to the music teacher to do the chasing - and to also provide lists with names/times/dates on to each class to.

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Ickythumpsmum · 28/04/2016 18:37

At our school, primary teachers are reminded by their class teachers or collected by the music teacher. Secondary school pupils are responsible to remember their own lessons.
To me it seems strange that the teacher would have just sat in their room waiting with nobody to teach, all the time knowing where your DS is.
Even if I suspected a pupil was absent I would walk or call over to the classroom as I wouldn't want to waste my time sitting around.

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ellesbellesxxx · 28/04/2016 18:40

As a music teacher, I always go and collect the child or ring their classroom and in my head of teacher role, I insist all peripatetic teachers do the same. Saying that, in our school they have the same time for half a term so it's easier to remember... But then they don't miss the same part of lesson all year.
I would ask the teacher to call/collect him.. I expect you are paying enough!

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Kariana · 28/04/2016 18:42

I used to be a teacher and with 30 children to teach it was impossible that I was ever going to remember to remind a child about a music lesson that changed each week.

I think the music teacher is being unreasonable here - the class are most likely in the classroom during lessons. If they aren't there is a limited number of places they would have gone (hall for PE, computer suite), it's not like a secondary school where they move for each lesson. You're paying the music teacher to give the lesson and so he/she should takes some responsibility for finding the pupils. Maybe have a word with the school office about it.

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ineedaholidaynow · 28/04/2016 18:43

The music teacher or possibly the previous child comes to collect DS(11) for his lesson. DS is in Y6.

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GoblinLittleOwl · 28/04/2016 19:03

The music teacher should come and collect him; if the time changes every week of course he won't remember, he is only seven, and it is highly unlikely that his teacher will be notified beforehand.

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teatowel · 28/04/2016 19:08

As a teacher I would try to remember and write it up on the board but I would get engrossed in what I was doing and forget. The music teacher would then come and collect the child. Rolling music lessons -no hope !

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NannawifeofBaldr · 28/04/2016 19:11

Buy him a cheap digital watch with an alarm - set it on the morning of the lesson to go off at the right time.

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Ionacat · 28/04/2016 19:48

I go round schools and do music lessons and this is my biggest problem. Classteachers try and help, but if they are in the middle of things, it is very difficult for them to remember and most schools take the view that although they'll try and help pupils remember, they won't be responsible for remembering as quite rightly it is not their priority. Some are great and write the times on the whiteboard as a constant reminder, one teacher sets the alarm on her whiteboard, however some teachers do nothing. You can get write-on watches that some of mine wear so they can see what time their lesson is.

I've got a list of all the pupils classes so generally if the next one isn't waiting, I'll ask the previous pupil to find missing one for me and if that fails go for a wander myself, however it isn't infallible, I've gone to find pupils on several occasions to find that the class has gone off somewhere and by the time I've tracked them down it is too late. (When you are in several different schools, you don't always know where the IT room, hall etc. are.)
If the music room is near the classrooms then great, but if you are in a separate building or at the other end of the school, it takes time.

I would contact the music teacher in the first place and see what they suggest and buy some sort of watch/reminder aid. And ask the classteacher if she wouldn't mind writing the time on her board. (A note in bookbag with the time each week would save him/her a fair amount of work.)

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