To ask which are worse, toddlers or teenagers?(58 Posts)
I've no experience of teenagers, just a 1 and a 3 year old.
My 3 year old was a v v difficult toddler and at 3 is still hard going.
I'd just like to know if people feel there is a connection between a difficult toddler and a difficult teenager?!
Which would you say is worse?
Don't know but apparently I was a lovely toddler and a nightmare teenager! I'm hoping the reverse is true for DS2 who is going through a somewhat trying toddler phase (please god let it be true!!)
I'll watch this one with interest. I've a 12 yo DS who was hideous as a toddler and a 9 yo DD who was a dream. I fully expect the reverse when the hormones kick in.
I was a dream toddler and about as nightmare a teenager as you can get, but then there were extenuating circs at the time.
I much prefer teenagers and ds1 was a nightmare between 13-16
Teenagers are better because they can communicate -when they feel like it and don't need you to physically do stuff like wipe their arses and push them on swings and make play dough and other boring stuff.They are also funny.
DS had a dental visit yesterday and informed us that it hadn't been much fun. " The woman with the hoover damn near hoovered my tonsils out!"
Depends on the child! DSD was a lovely toddler, no tantrums. As a teenager between the ages of 12-18 it was hell on earth! (She's 23 now and very lovely). DD1 was a nightmare toddler, awful and never slept either! She's 13 now and great, so far (fingers crossed).
Surely it's hard to quantify?
I mean, a toddler is annoying because you can't make them do anything. And usually, you need them to do things, like keep clothing on outside in December, or not fatally injure themselves, or let you leave the house. They also tend to be quite whiny and screamy over the slightest thing but also LOVE your company and so never ever leave you alone but can't hold a coherent conversation. And you still have to bath them, put them to bed, make their food and wipe their bums. And preschool is only about 2.5 hours long.
Teenagers are more independent, they can go out by themselves, they are at school for 6+ hours of the day and generally ignore you in favour of their phones at other times. When they are feeling pleasant, they can seem almost adult like. They can make themselves food, get themselves dressed, etc. But a toddler isn't going to be tempted to take drugs, isn't physically big enough to drive a metal death trap, you don't let them out alone so don't have to wait for them to get back, they don't want to have sex or get any piercings and can't fail their exams or drop out of school.
So you can't really compare because it's different things. Little people, little (but constant!) problems, big people, big problems. Just hopefully less frequent.
Well DD was a very easy toddler but teenage years have been way more difficult (I an praying she is coming out of it!)
DS was very full - on as a toddler, though not unmanageable (worse 6-9!) He was pretty difficult in school in y8/9 but was OK at home!
I don't think there is a connection . I have four kids, my nightmare baby and toddler was a decent teenager. My lovely laid back toddler became the teenager from HELL (the other two were pretty average all the way)
The difference is... you may have had enough of your toddler's tantrums, non stop demands etc... BUT you know they are safe, you know where they ARE. They are unlikely to steal from you, or be brought home by the police, or be caught smoking weed. You aren't worried sick that they are doing something illegal/underage/ sexually dangerous!
And when a teen goes for you... it's scary!
Having said ALL of that, on balance I much preferred the teen years... Watching them grow from kids dependent on you, to real adults.. is fascinating! And most teens turn human again at about 17
My nightmare toddler is now a lovely young junior doctor. My nightmare teen is now a happy, loving, hardworking hippy soul... no one would ever believe what he was like aged 12-17!
And at least with teens you can go to the loo in peace!
All about individuals, both the child and the parent, actually.
Some difficult toddlers grow up into easy teens, some stay difficult, some easy toddlers become difficult teens.
Parents differ in what they find hard: some parents find it incredibly difficult to deal with teens talking back and disagreeing with their views, others quite enjoy it as long as it is not too rude. Some find it hard to know how much independence to give, others find life is easier when you are not quite so closely bound up with each other.
I was by all accounts the toddler from hell, but I was quite an empathetic easy-going teen, and in fact spent a lot of time supporting my mum who was having a difficult menopause.
Dd was quite a difficult toddler, suffered severe anxiety and health problems in her teens so that was difficult but she herself was a very pleasant person (still is).
Ds was an easy-going toddler, grumpy pre-teen and is now an easy teen.
I am probably the kind of person who gets a lot out of the teen stage: I enjoy discussions and don't worry very much about losing authority. Otoh though our toddlers were great fun, I did find it a strain to be clung to all the time. Tantrums I could cope with, not the endless clinginess and whining.
It's all about individual personalities. My niece was a walk in the park at toddler stage but as a teen it's tantrums at dawn.
I had three under 4 at one point so had the full toddler experience! The teenage years are proving much better so far (15, 13 & 12) - emotionally they need me & DH but I no longer have to think for them all the time which I found exhausting when they were little. They have lovely friends, their own hobbies and interests, they are a source of great philosophical discussions (between arguing, they aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination!) and they can be left at home if DH & I want to go into town for a coffee. Hang in there. It gets better - the preschool years felt relentless.
My ace family planning meant there was a period when I had 2 teenagers, a toddler and a newborn. That was a right laugh.
I'd actually say toddlers are worse.
I passed our local nursery as it was coming out today. The noise. The screetching. Oooft. Teenagers are fab. I caught my 13 year old blowing on his ice cream today. "To warm it up"
Toddlers can be physically picked up and moved. Teenagers not a chance. Both require you to have a degree in logistics and psychology.
My laid back chilled DS1 as a toddler is a grumpy moody 15 yr old. My DS2 who was rather hyper as a toddler and had his ' moments ' is also a grump moody teenager.
I prefer the teenage years as at least you can walk out the house and go down the pub when they hack you off. No babysitters required.
I had a truly delightful toddler, easy going, sweet natured and very funny. At 16 I'm just getting that kind hearted boy back but the last three year have been incredibly hard work.
cory has it. It's what you find easier.
Parenthood isn't easy. Full stop. They have their own difficulties.
I do think teens get a bad press. They are mostly funny and passionate and lovely and wild.
Toddlers are inquisitive and funny and wild and lovely.
Depends on who you prefer talking to.
Give me the toddler any day, much better than stroppy teens who argue over everything and refuse to go to school. Having worked with teenagers I have seen regular school refusal, teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, beating up their parents etc etc. You can just ignore a tantrum raging 2 year old but not a teen who is repeatedly punching you and social services won't help.
BertieBotts Wed 27-Apr-16 20:29:52
excellent post. I am going through all you describe with toddler and dreading the second para.
well I had some element of control over the toddlers, little over the teens.
I slept well during the toddler years, very little sleep with my teens (less so then newborn child, very very little sleep).
with the toddlers no means no, with the teens no means maybe and probably yes if you harp on and on and on nauseatingly.
my toddlers never caused huge family rows, the teens did.
but all the negatives with teens means it is soooooo much sweeter when they say or do something that reveals the diamond in the rough.
My difficult demanding toddler has become a demanding (but not difficult) 19 year old.
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