Or is my unapologetic friend

(48 Posts)
PlumDogMillionaire Tue 26-Apr-16 18:51:19

I covered my friend paying for something about aI sent him and others my bank details on a group message a couple of days before I knew they would be paid (18th April). Everyone else paid on that date and messaged in the group that they had paid me back. He made an excuse that he needed to put it in a different account and do it the next day. Another friend said that he would be paying for him too ask he owed him money.

thecitydoc Tue 26-Apr-16 18:53:06

????????????

PlumDogMillionaire Tue 26-Apr-16 18:54:20

Whole post hasn't gone up...
The one supposed to be paying for the both of them said that he needed to pay the money in to an account and would send it to me the following day (no apology) I was not bothered at all and said absolutely fine. The next day he said that he had just realised he has to go to the bank to do it and would do it the next day. I said ok that's fine. He never sent the money and I hear nothing from him. I ask on 23rd if he's sent it... He ignores my message (I saw he was online), I called and he didn't answer or call back. Yesterday he apologised for being uncontactable (he was simply ignoring me) but not for not paying yet and said he would go to the bank that day and send it. The money isn't in my account and my text that evening asking if he had sent the money was ignored. Today I said 'can you not ignore me why haven't you sent it yet?' He replies 'sorry I'm busy I'll be done in 30 mins what's your details?'

Arghhh why is this winding me up so much?? It is nearly totm so maybe it's irrational. I don't need the money urgently and I know he will pay. I just can't imagine not paying someone back when I said I would without apologising profusely and explaining why... Let alone ignoring them!

PlumDogMillionaire Tue 26-Apr-16 19:00:05

Sorry that made very little sense... On my phone here

Uptownfuckuup Tue 26-Apr-16 19:10:15

come again

PlumDogMillionaire Tue 26-Apr-16 19:11:05

So sorry!! Full message below:

I covered some friends for group holiday deposit until they would be paid on 18th April. I made a group chat to let them know my details a couple of days before. On 18th everyone paid and said on the group that they had done so except for two, one of which said that the other would be paying for him as he owed him money. The one supposed to be paying for the both of them said that he needed to pay the money in to an account and would send it to me the following day (no apology) I was not bothered at all and said absolutely fine. The next day he said that he had just realised he has to go to the bank to do it and would do it the next day. I said ok that's fine. He never sent the money and I hear nothing from him. I ask on 23rd if he's sent it... He ignores my message (I saw he was online), I called and he didn't answer or call back. Yesterday he apologised for being uncontactable (he was simply ignoring me) but not for not paying yet and said he would go to the bank that day and send it. The money isn't in my account and my text that evening asking if he had sent the money was ignored. Today I said 'can you not ignore me why haven't you sent it yet?' He replies 'sorry I'm busy I'll be done in 30 mins what's your details?'

Arghhh why is this winding me up so much?? It is nearly totm so maybe it's irrational. I don't need the money urgently and I know he will pay. I just can't imagine not paying someone back when I said I would without apologising profusely and explaining why... Let alone ignoring them!

ImperialBlether Tue 26-Apr-16 19:12:50

How much is owed to you?

ImperialBlether Tue 26-Apr-16 19:13:51

The thing is that each man owes you his share. It's not up to the other guy to pay you two lots. You need to get in touch with the original friend and ask him for his share now, then chase the other one.

PlumDogMillionaire Tue 26-Apr-16 19:15:31

They are both in agreement that he is paying

PlumDogMillionaire Tue 26-Apr-16 19:16:42

£80 - it's the lack of apology and assumption of an extension that is winding me up

leelu66 Tue 26-Apr-16 19:17:20

Do not give up even if you have to knock on his door. I know people like this, complete chancers. He is hoping you'll give up, the tight git.

I would never pay for him again.

ImperialBlether Tue 26-Apr-16 19:17:39

Yes but it doesn't matter what they agree. They each owe you £40. If the second guy isn't paying, the first guy should pay his own £40. Why should you lose out?

Cloudstasteofmash Tue 26-Apr-16 19:18:00

So basically two people havnt paid the deposit?

They are both taking the piss. It matters not one jot that friend A owes friend B and he is supposed to paying. They both still havnt paid and actually friend A is taking the piss passing friends B debt on to you to sort.

I'd honestly send a message to them both that if the money isn't in your account got both deposits neither of them are going. Why are they not in a rush to pay?? They are both taking the piss

ImperialBlether Tue 26-Apr-16 19:18:08

You can't pass a debt on, that's what I mean!

Arfarfanarf Tue 26-Apr-16 19:19:37

is this for a holiday not yet taken?

I would be saying if you don't pay, I'll find someone else to take your place. It is unfair of you to hold onto money owed to me.

It's not really about whether you can afford it. tbh how does he know the ins and outs of your finances? Presumably for all he knows, you could use that money back. It's the principle of owing someone money and not giving a crap. And why should it be that you pay and he hangs on to his money until he feels like handing it over?

I hope he pays it and I assume more is yet to come?

Don't let it get to the holiday and he owes you money and comes anyway. Now that really would piss you off grin

And yes, if he isn't paying, go back to the other chap and say look, he won't pay me, you owing him isn't my problem, pay me what I am owed and the two of you sort yourselves out.

This here is how people get marked out as mugs. How they deal with things like this. Whether they say hang on, bloody no. just no. grin

PlumDogMillionaire Tue 26-Apr-16 19:20:24

I agreed to him paying for both and the other friend has apologised that it's not been paid yet. He cannot afford to pay and I don't feel that he is taking the piss... He was counting on the money the other friend has and he is communicating with me about it

LagunaBubbles Tue 26-Apr-16 19:26:36

Who would do something like this? Not someone I would like to go on holiday with for sure!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 26-Apr-16 19:27:01

I would be wary of giving bank details to people you don't know very well(?) The arrangement all sounds very sketchy and it sounds as though you are being royally phobbed off and they hope you will tire of asking.

As my dad used to say, never lend money to friends if you want it back.

Sootica Tue 26-Apr-16 19:28:12

Can you group message to shame him?

Ilovetorrentialrain Tue 26-Apr-16 19:29:21

Can you email the whole group each time?

Status for the holiday:

Person 1: paid
Person 2: paid
Person 3: not yet paid
Person 4: not yet paid (money due from person 3)

Plus any other things to do with the hol? Keep all communications to the whole group. It will shame him a bit - it's not fair you're offering credit facilities!

Bogeyface Tue 26-Apr-16 19:33:02

So now he owes 2 friends money?

Make sure he pays his own balance and dont lend him a penny on the holiday. He sounds like one of those people who are always borrowing but manage to make the creditor sound unreasonable and demanding when they want their money back.

And dont go on holiday with him again.

Cloudstasteofmash Tue 26-Apr-16 19:34:11

plum is really not your buisness that your friend can't afford to pay do is waiting for the other friend to pay.

This is not what friends do for each other. If he was a good friend he would bow out as to not take the piss.

As for the one who is properly dicking you about - at what point are you going to stand up for yourself?

Are you in charge of the booking? How can the friend who can't afford to pay deposit even afford to go if he can't get deposit together?

Spandexpants007 Tue 26-Apr-16 19:34:44

How far away does he live? Could he pop cash through your door?

It's time to embarrass him in front of the group. 'Everyones paid except for x who is covering both his and y's deposit'

Spandexpants007 Tue 26-Apr-16 19:35:56

Never cover his deposit again. Just refuse unless the money is in your account beforehand

Cloudstasteofmash Tue 26-Apr-16 19:36:09

The fact that is is purposely ignoring you for days is shit.

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