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to miffed with DH?

(14 Posts)
Hadalifeonce Tue 26-Apr-16 17:09:21

DH and I both have hobbies. I have a weekend away once a year for mine, which I save up and pay for.
DH has in the past done a similar thing; this year he told me he would be going this year, I don't have a problem with this, I suggested he start saving as his hobby is more expensive than mine, he said no worries.
He has now returned, and was telling me about how he felt ripped off about some of the costs, I agreed the costs were steep, captive audience etc.
He then mentioned that he was only really telling me because I would see it on the credit card, when I questioned why it was appearing on 'our' credit card and not 'his' he stated that he had taken spending money from his account, but didn't have enough for everything. I was a bit miffed.
When the credit card statement arrived, it wasn't only the activity that appeared, but also the hotel.
AIBU to be pretty miffed that effectively the only things 'he' paid for was the air fare and spending money, and that 'we' have paid out something like £500 for his weekend away?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 26-Apr-16 17:12:24

DH and I have 'pocket money' for treats like these so they don't get out of control. If you have the money, just get your weekend away paid for from joint funds and move on. If you don't have the money, there's a bigger issue.

Mysteryfla Tue 26-Apr-16 17:13:55

So when it's your turn take £500 from the joint account, or charge to the credit card, to pay for your hobby.

Lilaclily Tue 26-Apr-16 17:14:19

All our money is shared so this wouldn't be an issue
We have funds for each of us to do fun stuff
I guess I'd be spending £500 myself on something good else

Hadalifeonce Tue 26-Apr-16 17:14:39

We don't really have the joint funds for this, which is why we went down the 'pocket money' route in the first place; so that we shouldn't have to dip into funds that are essentially earmarked for something else.

Hadalifeonce Tue 26-Apr-16 17:16:13

In my heart I do think, yep, I'll pay for mine like that, but I know I won't because I tend to be the one balancing the household finances.

RB68 Tue 26-Apr-16 17:17:59

you need to ask him to pay if back in or the joint account will be short and he needs to increase his monthly contribution into the account to do that for a period. Make it clear he can't just swipe money meant for something else because he hasn't put enough aside.

leelu66 Tue 26-Apr-16 17:18:07

Yes, as MrsT says, pay for your own weekend out of the joint account too.

Was there not enough credit left on his own credit card?

LeaLeander Tue 26-Apr-16 17:19:20

Can't he pay it back from his pocket money starting now? Or does your household fund just absorb his hobby spending and he gets to start fresh with no repurcussions?

leelu66 Tue 26-Apr-16 17:20:23

In my heart I do think, yep, I'll pay for mine like that, but I know I won't because I tend to be the one balancing the household finances.

So he's taking advantage. Don't let him. Ask him when he's transferring the money into the joint account.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 26-Apr-16 17:22:22

If you don't have the money then he needs to pay it back. It's not OK.

Hadalifeonce Tue 26-Apr-16 17:30:22

You are right, I need to tell him how I feel about this, and find out what his plans are to put the funds back. Thank you all.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 26-Apr-16 17:43:11

DH balances the budget in this house. But he shows me and shares it and I access it when I need to know what's happening. I don't just take money out and hope DH will sort it.

crazywriter Tue 26-Apr-16 17:59:14

As PPs have said. This isn't ok and he needs to put the money back in--and you need to discuss this with him. He can't just take money out of the joint funds just because he didn't save enough. If he didn't save enough, that's his problem and he has to forgo until later (is it something he can do later) or wait again until next year. That wouldn't stop you going to yours, as long as you've saved enough.

I balance the books in our house, but DH would never just take money. He always checks that there's money in the account for his rail fare each week! (There is, he's just being cautious as I got rid of the overdraft lately after refusing to pay extra for less on the bank account--a joint decision). He doesn't take money out without telling me and expect me to balance it all out again.

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