Why do neighbors turn childish if you dare ask them to stop doing something?

(9 Posts)
PinkheartsPinkfarts Tue 26-Apr-16 04:11:46

Maybe i'm just the neighbor from hell or i just come across some really dickish neighbors.
Last flat i was in i asked man next door to please not play his music so loudly after 11pm, this resulted in him playing it 24/7 which im guessing was to annoy me.

Something happened in my private life and was moved from there.
So have a man upstairs who smokes weed, I don't smoke so I can smell it from a mile off.
I tried hard for a couple months to just put up with it because i didn't want no drama but it was giving me a headache and leaving windows open in winter to now just isn't on plus i have single pane so my flat is cold anyway.

So i asked him nicely after i had a few very brief conversations with him to please smoke out his window as it comes through the vents in my flat and the communal area, wasn't rude about it at all.
He denined he smoked and said to stop making up things confused

Now ever since this around january he has been making a hell of a racket, slamming his door, tapping on my wall, stomping and he still smokes the weed.
It's not just me because any of my guest who come here smell it as well.

So recently I have got in touch with a manager of the area for the HA and she said he has accused me of throwing milk around in the communal area confused

Like really? Of all the things to accuse me of and all because i asked you nicely to smoke weed out of the window?
Worse thing is the manager when I spoke to her seemed like she was on his side but the question is why would I do that?
I am the only one who cleans the communal area. I feel she may be biased as I had an issue with music man.

Aibu?
Am i just the neighbor from hell and should accept it?

I have a 14 month old which is why I am awake now if anyone was wondering smile

PinkheartsPinkfarts Tue 26-Apr-16 04:13:51

Neighbour! Bloody autowrongcorrect

junebirthdaygirl Tue 26-Apr-16 07:24:35

If you clean the communal areas did you squire some white liquid cleaner on tiles before mopping and he is so thick he thought it was milk. Otherwise it's a strange one to make up. I think people react very badly to being corrected in any way. Sounds like you were fair and reasonable on both occasions but l suppose expecting someone who constantly smokes weed to be reasonable is expecting too much. Problem is if they were decent enough they wouldn't be doing the things in the first place. Its difficult for you. I would hate in live in those circumstances.

Kariana Tue 26-Apr-16 08:08:06

I don't think it's you. I'd be fuming if my 14 month old was being exposed to fumes from someone smoking weed. Get back onto the HA asap!

Birdsgottafly Tue 26-Apr-16 08:17:22

There's threads on here, were the the OP isn't entirely in the right, yet the suggestions for 'revenge' are totally childish and unnecessary.

Even when dealing with perfectly reasonable requests from neighbours, work Collegues or the Parents of their child's peers.

As said, some people can't stand being challenged, or even communicated with, or have constantly got to have a feeling of one upmanship.

I've got neighbours in their fifties, who act like 12 year olds.

hearthattack Tue 26-Apr-16 09:37:51

When we lived in our flat in London, we made quite a bit of noise. Nothing massive but were quite drunk and giggly quite a lot of the time. A couple (same age as us) lived above us and were joyless fuckers from day one. When they moved in I introduced myself and said to knock anytime there was a problem or if they needed anything. The first contact we had from them was a typed letter in very formal, patronising language demanding that we were silent after 10pm.

I decided they were over officious gits trying to kill my buzz and, though we tried to tone it down a bit, we didn't worry too much. If they'd just knocked and asked nicely for us to keep it down we would have been much more considerate.

Looking back I have more empathy for them and can see we must have been pretty annoying. I guess my point is that tone is very important, and taking the moral high ground, however 'politely' doesn't win you any favours.

gandalf456 Tue 26-Apr-16 09:42:03

I was going to say about tone. I would take on board complaints if I thought they were valid but would hate it if they came round angry or patronising

paxillin Tue 26-Apr-16 09:53:55

I think most people hate being told what to do, especially in their own home. What is or isn't reasonable to do at home varies so much between people.

For example:

Loud TV, laundry on the balcony, playing children, smoking at home, large pile of shoes outside the door, talking to neighbours, buggy stored in the communal hallway, decorating a front door in a block of apartments with personal welcome messages, parties at midnight, washing machine running at 10pm, overfilling communal bins, deliveries to neighbours, coming home all hours, curtain twitching, loud sex, building works on the weekend.

I do some, loathe others, and some are meh. Bet yours are different.

PinkheartsPinkfarts Tue 26-Apr-16 11:40:04

When i say I say i clean the area i mean hoover and pick up junk mail, so no white liquid anywhere. There is a nasty brown carpet in the communal area.

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