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AIBU to want to end this friendship - if not, how do I do it?

(4 Posts)
coralpig Mon 25-Apr-16 18:52:56

I've had a friend for a few years- I don't know whether she has consciously avoided me over the lady few months but we have definitely spent less time together. I reached out to her when I was going through a very tough time and received no response. About a month later she asked me how I was- it felt a bit like a slap in the face. At first I thought she was isolating herself from everybody but that's definitely not the case as she has been very social with other mutual friends. It's odd and I'm hurt.

Now I'm not going through such a hard time, I've tried to reach out to her and try to get our friendship back on track and I've realised I'm not really that fond of her company. She also makes snide comments about my fiancé's physical appearance (in a jokey way) but they are things that are actually things that he is insecure about (he is losing his hair at a young age)- I may have lost my sense of humour but I don't think it's very nice to point these out in a group.

I feel that I've put myself out for her in the past and made a huge effort that hasn't really been reciprocated on any way from her. As childish as it sounds - I don't want to be her friend anymore.

2 questions:

1. AIBU to want to end this friendship?
2. My wedding and hen do are in a few months time and she has accepted invitations to both. I'm not suggesting Uninviting her to these (although I secretly don't want her there really)- as that is certainly unreasonable. However, how do i cool off my friendship with her in light of these two events?

3. If I am being unreasonable to want to end my friendship with her, how do I broach these issues with her?

Sniv Mon 25-Apr-16 18:57:17

You don't need to compile a case against someone to justify cooling a friendship. If their company makes you feel bad that's reason enough.

So just do what she's done to you. If she reaches out, you're not there.

MeMySonAndl Mon 25-Apr-16 18:58:42

To be honest, it seems to me that she is either busy or that the friendship is cooling down already.

YANBU in thinking of ending the friendship, but you are BU in thinking about officially finishing it.

I am sorry to say this, but if you are older than 12 years old and the other person doesn't seem interested, there is no point in meeting with her to end the friendship, just downgrade her to acquaintance and back off.

readytorage Mon 25-Apr-16 19:00:34

I'd phase her right out, OP. Making comments about someone's appearance is not on. It's cruel and it's mean. It is also the hallmark of the insecure. Please do yourself a favour and phase this woman out your life.

Enjoy your hen and wedding smile

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