to cut his bloody fingers off?!

(41 Posts)
mopants Mon 25-Apr-16 17:46:47

Almost 5 year old boy keeps drawing on the walls and doors. I have tried punishing. I have tried providing endless amounts of paper. I have confiscated all writing implements (he still found some, God only knows where from!). I have tried supplying him with many pens, crayons and wax Crayons in a big box with lots of paper and card and activity books. We had a house inspection done by housing and the drawings were obviously noticed. We were told to sort it, given a month to do so. Decorated most of the house. Day before next inspection the little shit he drew all up the stairs again with a pen I have no idea where he had it stashed. So been allowed another month to 'finish sorting the drawings' at which point if there is still drawing on the walls the witch is going to present us with a notice to seek possession. So spent all last week painting over drawings again. We have explained this to the child, he promises he won't do it. Explained to the other 3 children that any pens or crayons they find are to be given straight to mummy or daddy. So today he has done it again angry

Ideas?? Please??

toriap2 Mon 25-Apr-16 17:51:51

Keep him in boxing gloves? Less mess than cutting fingers off. I feel your pain

Kickassandlollipops Mon 25-Apr-16 17:57:07

Get a roll of cheap paper and bluetac it up the stairs, then whip it off before the inspection? Or a straight jacket?

Barmaid101 Mon 25-Apr-16 18:00:06

Baby wipes are good for getting pens off painted walls

Roseberrry Mon 25-Apr-16 18:00:58

Does he have any SEN? How do you react when he does it?

I feel your pain, ds1 is a fucker for drawing on our stuff and he's nearly 6.

FuckSanta Mon 25-Apr-16 18:01:39

What else is going on? He's doing it for attention. He doesn't care whether that attention is positive or negative. He's not getting enough positive attention so he's doing something he knows will get negative attention. Are you spending time with him?

Roseberrry Mon 25-Apr-16 18:08:57

I was going to say something along those lines but didn't want to presume. I used to get really angry and shouty when he did stuff like that but have noticed a definite improvement since I've calmed it down and made a big effort to point out all of his positives.

mopants Mon 25-Apr-16 18:16:52

We can be having a lovely time playing a game or reading a book and he will ask to go to the toilet. Next thing I know all the walls say his name and there is a line down the stairs where he has dragged a pencil along with him

BlueJug Mon 25-Apr-16 18:18:41

england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/eviction/eviction_of_council_tenants/grounds_for_evicting_council_tenants

Can you be evicted for this - I wouldn't have thought so. - Check the Shelter website.

In the meantime covering the walls with sheets of old wallpaper or flipchart paper might be an idea.

Other advice about dealing with your child's behaviour might be worth considering

mopants Mon 25-Apr-16 18:18:51

I've tried getting angry. I've tried just ignoring it. I've tried calmly telling him not to do ur. I've tried just telling him I'm now taking his Spider-Man or hulk or new trainers or teddy. No SEN that we're aware of and he is apparently an angel at school

FuckSanta Mon 25-Apr-16 18:19:14

I suspect the twins and new baby that followed him, and the parental stress that comes with 5 children under 6 (!) is having an effect to be honest. Might be time for some lovebombing OP.

gymboywalton Mon 25-Apr-16 18:19:45

i know he is on;y little but i would go nuclear on this one
especially when he has been told so many times
a really good telling off-let him see that you are angry and upset

FuckSanta Mon 25-Apr-16 18:20:44

Are you spending any normal time with him? Was hard enough for my mum to spend quality time with me when my sibling came along, and there were only 2 of us. He's competing with 4 other children who all have high needs just by virtue of their age!

TrainBridge Mon 25-Apr-16 18:21:45

Have you tried making him help you clean it off? Even if he doesn't help, having to sit there watching you do a boring job might be off putting. I'd also do a massive spring clean and find all writing implements in the house and put them into a locked box. It will be a pain for everyone else, but maybe it would get him out of the habit?

Also, have you tried a reward for every day that he DOESN'T draw on the walls? Something like a small car, or some pocket money, or whatever motivates him?

FuckSanta Mon 25-Apr-16 18:21:49

FFS. Going nuclear? Why not make him sleep in the garden or stand facing the wall for a week? He needs parenting, not anger and recrimination!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 25-Apr-16 18:26:06

Very annoying but sounds like FuckSanta is on the right track.
It has become a very satisfying habit. He must access drawing materials somewhere! Do a thorough search.
Keep checking him for crayons etc.

On the cleaning side (trying to be practical) - paint the walls with Dulux endurance and get a large supply of magic sponges which do tend to get pen off.

paxillin Mon 25-Apr-16 18:30:51

My sister managed to get rid of unwanted behaviour by giving her other dc an immediate ice lolly in front of the perpetrator for each misbehaviour. She made sure to say "this is because you didn't draw on the wall, Jimmy can't have one because he did". It was gone very quickly. Are you sure it's him and not one of the others to get him into trouble?

FuckSanta Mon 25-Apr-16 18:32:53

Is she saving for their future therapy needs, paxillin?!

OurBlanche Mon 25-Apr-16 18:33:12

Sorry, OP, that made me smile

My little sister went through a similar phase... was told never ever to draw on her bedroom walls again so she drew all over mine grin

I have no idea how to deal with it, DM shouted a lot... between fishing out dolls that had been half flushed down the loo... picking her off upstairs window ledges... crying a bit!

mopants Mon 25-Apr-16 18:39:29

I've got one that likes upstairs window ledges too!!

paxillin Mon 25-Apr-16 18:53:04

It has always worked a treat, FuckSanta (it's not always the same child obvs). Seems rewarding the good ones is more punishment than punishing the perpetrator. One was drawing on the wall for a bit, another had a hitting phase, nothing worked, but this did immediately... doesn't work if you only have one or two kids of course. The punishment never had to be doled out twice.

FuckSanta Mon 25-Apr-16 19:00:13

Still a bit uncomfortable with that (just because it changes the behaviour doesn't mean the means of getting there or the message it sends is healthy eg smacking, humiliating, keeping kids in cages). I only have 1 so it's not something I'd ever have to consider doing.

FuckSanta Mon 25-Apr-16 19:00:48

Are you going to be answering any of my questions OP?

mopants Mon 25-Apr-16 19:14:33

I could blame it on the baby arriving 4 months ago but he did it throughout last year too. We do spend time together. He is a very loving boy who is very tactile so constant hugs and slobbery kisses happens lots. But on the other hand he can be very violent with siblings. He has a very quick temper, I know it well, and can switch in a second. He's always been hard work, but we generally get on a lot better now he's getting older and things can be explained. This drawing on things just isn't getting through to him though.

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