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to not know how to deal with a "changeable" person?

(2 Posts)
cjt110 Mon 25-Apr-16 11:07:42

Someone, let's call them A, was a colleague on a different department with some degree of seniority by virtue of the position they were in. That department as such had no manager. A vacancy was created for the manager position and A got that job. I had always got along well with A as a colleague and would have at one point gone so far as to call them a friend.

A gets managers job. A has been in this job for a good while now - 12 months or so - and I have seen A change so much in how they are. You can easily see when they switch from colleague/friend to manager's role and it's very uncomfortable.

They will also do things that are completely hypocritical. They will tell their team they aren't allowed to sit talking due to time and pressure constraints on the team. Then will sit and regale stories of their recent holiday, the trouble their son is in, stand chatting for ages. I know we all are guilty of this from time to time.

A will also do/say things to clearly get attention - Walk past limping going "ouch" or stand having a go at their son on the phone in an open office environment, expecting people to ask whats happened etc.

I am finding it so hard to deal with as this person was lovely before. I am dealing with it by just keeping myself to myself, uhming and ahhing as/when required but otherwise keeping out of it because it's making me so cross. I see A bollock someone for chatting then see A stand gassing for 15-20 mins whilst their team is logging their guts out. See, and have experienced myself, them changing from a colleague/friend into their manager's role when it suits them.

Just how do you deal with it. I feel horrid for almost ignoring A but the behaviour is really winding me up.

cjt110 Mon 25-Apr-16 13:31:19


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